|Reviews for Fushigi Yuugi: Hilarious Game|
| AGrandMalfunction chapter 1 . 10/8/2010
Hello there! Finally a story in English that I can review!
Sooo, good start. Your summary made me giggle - it was pretty funny. And I like this Rei Miwa whatever-the-rest-of-her-long-name-is woman - a Miko in jeans and a t-shirt is always a good thing (and would sidestep all those very awkward moments that a short skirt - very impractical for an adventure, I must say - would inevitably lead to)! And I love the.. hyper, absent-minded tone that her character's voice seems to have.
Which brings us to the language thing. It's not bad; I mean I've seen some other translations which are pretty incomprehensible. Plus the grammar is more or less correct, and I like your use of the semi-colon, such as:
'Truth to be told, I don't really get it; if I had to define myself, I will say something along the lines of focused on better things than ordinary life.' This is well written, in terms of sentence structure.
However, there are a few things that do not flow with the language. Such as:
- "babys": it's 'babies'
- in the sentence I quoted above, the bit where she says 'I will say something along the lines of' - given the first half of that sentence, maybe "would" would have served better.
- 'Truth to be told' - 'Truth be told'
And there are a large number of very very small things. I don't want to be an ass and make a list of them here, but if you like, I'd be happy to send you suggestions over PM. Just let me know. :)
Oh! And out of curiosity, this old madwoman in Japan - is she someone we know? I'm now curious, and I hope you will update soon!
| Kristy SR chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
Anda! Pero si es tu historia en ingles... que raro... Haciendo uso de los metodos de la uni... aunque no haya muchos metodos de por medio por lo qure me has contado.. EsTA muy bien que escribas estas cositas, pero porfa continua con la historia o con cualquieras de tus historias que has dejado abandonadas XD ahora digo yo: pleaseeeee XD Ok?¿ Bss Nos vemos