|Reviews for Pocket Friends|
| MistyMountainHop chapter 7 . 6/18
[Jackie was toweling off her neck after a vigorous aerobics class. "I don't know Rhonda, the whole thing felt like a set up."] – I love that you’re using the 4x01 AU version of Rhonda and that Jackie’s taking aerobics with her! Oh, but Jackie continues to be suspicious about Eric. Huh. That would explain her prickliness after learning all the Eric things last chapter.
[I managed to get us tickets to that play the Civic Center is putting on for Midsummer's Night Dream] – *A Midsummer's Night Dream* totally references the Eric/Donna/Chelsea/Larry/Donna/Chelsea/Eric situation Eric got himself into in college. Nice!
[Jackie blinked. Was this Forman's kid? The little girl was smiling and tugging on Jackie's hair.] – That’s so cute! And Gabby remembers Jackie.
["Teach your kid her "J" sounds okay? I have to find Rhonda. Good night."] – Omigosh. So terse! *lol*
["Um…Aunt Laurie introduced the wonders of bubblegum just before naptime."] – Oh, boy. Laurie’s just gotta cause trouble for her bro, doesn’t she?
[Oh." Jackie removed her smock and went to hug the little girl when she latched on to Jackie like a baby panda. She was smelling her, and kissing her and touching her brunette hair. "Eric?" Jackie asked alarmed. "Why am I being mauled by a two year old?"] – LOLOL I can sooo see that moment. And Jackie would totally react that way (until she gets used to being around babies/toddlers).
I like that Eric’s kid feels safe with Jackie. Not sure the feeling’s mutual yet, though. Eric, of course is happy that Gabby’s taken to Jackie, just like he has.
I’m enjoying the tension that Jackie’s suspicion is creating. She’s not plunging into a romance, let alone a friendship, with Eric. She’s cautious, and it makes me curious if that caution stems from a deeper place or if it’s simply from her past experiences with boys/men.
| MistyMountainHop chapter 6 . 5/30
[Eric laughed to himself. Jackie didn't know. Impulsively, he hugged her. "You are so wonderful. I really am glad that you're here."] – Eric’s relief is palpable. He really wants to tell her about his daughter soberly and deliberately.
["This is my daughter… Gabriella."] – Bam.
[Jackie had to ask. "Donna's?"
He smiled, "No.] – This is such an intriguing and unexpected setup/premise for a T7S story.
[what made you think that she was your kid?"] – Good question.
["Larry and Chelsea both had blue eyes. Gabriella has my green eyes. After she was born, Chelsea called me. She was going to put Gabby up for adoption because she didn't want a kid, so Dad and I flew out and officially signed the birth papers. There is no doubt she's mine."] – Interesting. He and Larry could’ve also taken paternity tests. They’d gotten to be at least 80% accurate by the time period of this story. But I love that Eric wanted to be a father to this kid. He takes responsibility without blinking. I’m sure he had a freak-out initially, but it clearly didn’t last long.
[I thought that if I could interact with another businessperson, you, then I'm doing good.] – Aw, he’s still so insecure.
[Right now, you're trying to make me hold a kid I've never met before and I'll probably make her cry and then I'll have to make you cry for doing it. "] – LOL
["Well thank you for that and you can quit sucking up. I won't tell your secret."] – Jackie is rather prickly but understandable, considering what she has to wrap her head around: Eric and Donna, Eric and Chelsea, Donna and Chelsea, Eric and Gabby…
["I like her baby…I always have. I was a little afraid of her but I liked her."] - *lol* I could see Eric being a little afraid of Jackie.
So now that Jackie knows all the things (about Eric’s last few years), she’ll have an easier time interacting with him. With the facts well in hand, she won’t make up stories. This is good. It gives her and Eric a real chance at connection.
| MistyMountainHop chapter 5 . 5/1
Eric seeing how Jackie is with Betsy must put his mind at ease somewhat. If she’s good with Betsy, then maybe she’ll be good for Gabriella. I have an inkling that the Donna of this story is/was not a good mother. So Eric’s going to be doubly cautious about the women he brings into Gabriella’s life.
[Eric got up the next morning feeling like a garbage truck had run through his mouth.] – Quite a visceral and unique image.
["Actually, Jackie got an emergency page, something about a wedding tragedy and left around 6:00.] – Aw, man. Now Eric can’t explain to her who Gabriella is.
[Laurie and her husband Fez, now Forman because she didn't a last name that started with five silent "K"s] – Omigosh, Fez took Laurie’s last name? How progressive! :D
So not even Laurie and Fez know about Gabriella? Eric really has been keeping her a secret. Laurie and Fez moving into the house is going to make the place rather crowded. Kitty’ll probably be happy, as long as they keep their private times private.
| MistyMountainHop chapter 4 . 4/30
I like that Jackie visits Brooke and Betsy (and Kelso, I guess *lol*) regularly. It’s part of a story I’ve been working on, too.
["Dude, you need some porn in this store.] – Of course Kelso would tell Eric that.
[Eric snagged the nearly pristine copy of the collection and put it safely under the glass top. Kelso blew on the glass and then wrote his name in the vapor.] – Kelso should not be allowed to touch Eric’s merchandise or be allowed in his store. *lol*
["Oh man, this is so freaking awesome! Both my best friends are spending the night! It's gonna be great! Man, I'm so happy I'm gonna jump off the roof!"] – LMAO Kelso’s like a hyperactive puppy. Brooke must be beside herself with worry 24/7.
[Betsy smiled back. "That's cuz he misses Gabriella."] – I had a feeling Betsy would spill a few beans. Jackie’s reaction isn’t unexpected. Her first assumption wouldn’t definitely be that he has a daughter but a girlfriend.
Seems like Brooke and Kelso would love if Jackie and Eric dated. Makes sense, considering Jackie and Eric are close with them. But Eric has to tell Jackie about his kid, and I don’t know how comfortable he’ll be doing that so soon. He must be protective of Gabriella, especially when introducing her to women he’s dating (or might potentially date).
| MistyMountainHop chapter 3 . 4/29
Kitty is ready for a fight. *lol* And Red doesn’t seem all too thrilled with her attitude.
Wow, Jackie knows how to make an impression. Bringing Red a six-pack of beer? Smart lady.
["Because you were like the best mom ever and I didn't tell you that when I had the chance."] – Oh, Jackie is good. Very good.
["It was really more of a merger than a marriage. Amber's dad owns a chain of dry cleaning stores and David's dad owns a couple of used car lots. The potential money for the combined family is staggering."] – I’m sensing a theme here. The story started out at a function for small businesses. Jackie and Eric consider their interactions to be business negotiations. Now David’s marriage to Amber is a merger. Will this theme continue throughout the rest of the story? I’ll find out (by reading *lol*).
[Red looked around and saw some outlet covers that need to be replaced, a door knob that was loose and some sheetrock that was cracked.] – More good image/specific details to let us see the salon in its current state.
[I'll make the repairs, you pay for the materials and give Kitty a couple of free haircuts and we'll call it even."] – Ooh, another business negotiation.
["It gets me out of the house, stops Kitty's nagging] – Ouch. Red is really not happy with her right now, is he?
I like how Jackie’s gotten herself involved with Eric’s parents. It’s a temporary situation (as of now), but I’m sure it’ll lead to something more permanent.
Also, does Eric have a kid? Is it Donna’s? If so, does he have full custody? *will find out*
| MistyMountainHop chapter 2 . 4/28
Aw, Eric’s afraid to be seen dancing. Jackie’s going to be good for him. He needs her self-confidence.
[Eric was surprised when Jackie pressed her cheek against his chest. On any other day, this could have been a romantic song…but this wasn't a date…it was a favor.] – I’m digging it. That detail of her pressing her cheek against his chest – easy to visualize. Also, Eric’s conflict is already showing. He’s clearly attracted to her, but he knows they’re nowhere near a relationship yet, let alone dating.
[I've been trying to avoid her. We came in separate cars and I want to leave the same way."] – Aw, I feel a little bad for Kathy, but – at the same time – she’s been pursing Eric, who’s told her more than once he’s not interested.
Eric is pretty brazen, calling Jackie his girlfriend (to get Kathy to back off). He’s developed some chutzpah!
[“but Forman; this little dance between us is a negotiated business arrangement."] – LOL
Eric and Jackie are so flirty in this chapter. It’s adorable. I wonder how long they’ll consider their interactions “negotiated business arrangement[s]”.
| MistyMountainHop chapter 1 . 4/27
Love the specific details in the first few paragraphs: the drapes that smell of dust and the stained carpeting, the cigarette-burned bar.
I like that Jackie and Eric meet at the Point Place Small Business Association function. They’re both in similar places in their lives, about to open their own businesses. This is interesting.
[The dance studio on the second floor was practicing their clog dancing again.] – The idea of Eric working below a bunch of clog dancers tickles me. *lol* I’m sure it’s not so amusing to Eric, though.
[Every Thursday, more of the ceiling insulation would float down on the floor after it covered his books.] – That’s a great image.
More good specific details: [apricot blush] and [thick brown hair and made ringlets to hold the baby's breath and mini rose barrettes]. These make it easy to envision what’s happening in the scene.
[Kathy "Chow Dog" Bracker was the ugliest girl he'd ever seen. She had a two inch hair that was growing out of a mole under her chin] – Oh, man. Eric does not like moles, especially hairy ones. *lol*
[How cool would it be to design jewelry for hair?] – I can so see Jackie being into this.
I love how Jackie ends up being the makeup and hair artist for the wedding Eric’s attending. And how the bit with Dave’s family all having unibrows gets shown, not just told, through Jackie plucking them into two brows. Aaaand Jackie plucking Kathy’s mole hairs (ew). That’s one funny (and gross) slapsticky scene.
Ooh, I wonder if Red’ll be happy Eric volunteered him to fix Jackie’s salon sink. Will she pay him? Yeah, she will (but maybe less than $300).
This is an entertaining and quite visual chapter, Marla! Looking forward to the next.
| Clementine Buttersnaps chapter 36 . 10/14/2014
This story was great! From start to finish it had me hooked.
| w chapter 36 . 8/25/2014
damn - I love this story
| TigeronFire1986 chapter 20 . 7/28/2014
I'm reading at least four of your stories currently. All Eric/Jackie. You have created a monster.
| cajunghost chapter 20 . 10/27/2013
LOL, I'm sure that if Luther was stuck on that island by himself he would probably die of thirst and starvation. I wait for Morgan Edge to get what is coming to him.
| Anna chapter 36 . 9/2/2013
This story was adorable. I love little Gabby, she's so cute. I also like how Chelsea and Donna decide to be Aunts to her and not take her away from Eric and Jackie. I laugh so hard when Gabby learn the word bitch and dumbass. But mostly I just love seeing the family interacting. Great Job and keep up the good work. :)
| w chapter 36 . 2/16/2013
this has to be my favorite :)
| AnAddictedReader chapter 36 . 2/7/2013
I really did love the story though it was missing one of my favorite characters, Leo. _
| w chapter 36 . 1/16/2013
love your stories this showed your sentimental side:)