Reviews for No Longer an Outcast
Aria Breuer chapter 1 . 4/11/2011
After watching "Avatar" to refresh my memory, this made reading your one-shot better to understand.

I found no grammatical mistakes, which is good.

This one-shot makes me ask a "what if" question concerning at least this much of the film's storyline. I'm glad you made this original, while making it fit in with the original plot.

Good work.

-Aria Breuer
AlarataraWitchIce chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Alright, I like it. I like it a lot. ~M.M.
Bigoldfrog chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Overall an enjoyable fic to read. The demonstrable talent of you writing is commendable.

I too cringe, when watching Avatar, when Jake open's his eyes for the first time as someone's pairbond. I know what's coming, what emotional torture awaits.
VanMan1973 chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
I think this would severely change the story if you had the druthers to rewrite what happened prior to the destruction of Kelutral. If Neytiri hadn't initially rejected him and shooed him away, and if the Omaticaya had cast him out for what he had done, he would not have tried to bond with the turok. He wouldn't become Turok Makto VI. Great stories come from conflicts, but from within and without.

Otherwise, this story is well written and a good alternate string on the story, but like I said, it would greatly change the way the story flowed.