|Reviews for Swimming in Circles|
| Burke23 chapter 1 . 7/21/2015
Well... things just got weird.
My summer camp wa better.
Sssssssssssanctum. A stereotypical snake/lizard person.
The hissing of s's is irritating and a cliché.
I have friends in the BSA who wouldn't think twice at the thought of cutting both of them up just to see what was inside... yes they were, and still are, hunters.
I was one of them... and my buck knife is gettng cold.
| pottersparky chapter 1 . 6/5/2014
This is another great chapther in kim possible fanfiction. Max having the same camp nightmares as ron did only diffirent one than him. I know that camp counselors would not last a week at camp wannaweep. Me I think that camp should be lock up forever and no one goes there again ever. That is one evil place. king is more nuts than Gill. I think there is nonething that could do not change crazy these two person's minds ever in future. I love how max work around his fear of place of evil to save his friends who needed him so much. You think that kim would think that ron and max have a point by now that this camp is no place for anyone should be staying at. What will it take for kim to see this camp as a place of true evil. Now when danny fenton and friends went to camp that place was not evil it just needs to be clean up real bad. That is if anyone ever put out money to do it. I hope you like the review. I still look forward to future emails that you take time to send me. I hope to see your future fanfiction stories of danny phantom and kim possible real soon. Keep up the great work.
| Indri08 chapter 1 . 12/20/2013
But i actually thinking that Max is actually Max Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place. Sorry, but i hate OCs. No offence.
So, i was thinking that Max Russo was under a spell by a witch who wanted to break the Russo's bond. She knew that they're unstoppable together, and breakable if separated. So she put Max under a spell to steal the powers of the only remaining wizards of the Russos, -his siblings- Alex Russo and Justin Russo.
The witch's spell is permanent. Because of the spell, Max thinks that Alex and Justin steal his powers, thought his name was Maximillion Ambro, become a man who is not so weird, wanted his powers back and wanted his own wand back.
Once he steal they're powers, Alex and Justin wanted to stop they're sibling, but without using magic! Max then defeated his own siblings. Max's spell is broken. The permanent spell is broken! Seeing that his siblings is now weak, he feel sorry for himself.
He's angry at the witch. The witch knew that the spell is broken, and quickly set another spell just like it, but more powerful. While Max is unconscious, the witch teleported Alex and Justin back to the Waverly Sub Station, and Max teleported to MCC.
Max woke up and remember anything except when his spell is broken. And he thought that he is a reincarnation of Merlin. And now, Alex and Justin is looking for Max all over the world.
Can you please make a fanfic about that? I can't write a fanfic.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/2/2013
Max is my favorite oc ever. I figured that I might as well tell you. I really hope that you write more stories with him in it!
| Jade'sPetDragon chapter 1 . 5/12/2013
Dude great story and great idea for Kim's mutation although dontcha think the whole cat girl thing has been done to death? Though I gotta admit I agree with Ron she did sound hot!
| loonytunecrazy chapter 1 . 5/18/2012
| Data Seeker chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
This is a great recycling of the “Sink or Swim” plot.
The quality is great: great narration, dialog, interactions, reactions, emotion, suspense, humor, detail and drama!
I normally compliment the characters next, but I’ll do it later.
The beginning is very good; Kim and Ron are returning from a mission that they feel is pointless (and I agree with them), and as their heading home, something weird (and familiar) happens: interference renders the Kimmunicator useless and Kim and Ron decide to check it out (since their dressed for it and all).
The next scene is dramatic, followed by sweet and romantic; they are investigating and then Ron makes a horrible discovery: their at camp “Wannaweep (one of the most traumatic places Ron has experienced); Ron freaks out, his fear runs deep, till Kim helps eases his emotional pain by holding and kissing him (sweet and realistic).
Max’s arrival was an amusing/annoying moment for Kim and Ron (mostly annoying). It gets suspenseful when he wonders what is up and then starts to get uneasy when something about this place becomes disturbingly familiar (much to Kim and Ron’s surprise). It was dynamic that after finding out that the place is Camp Wannaweep, Max has a mental-breakdown, running around ranting (like Ron only his worse days).
The next scene is dynamic; Max somewhat calms down, and reveals that he had a bad experience at Wannaweep (He always seemed so confident, now he is so human due to this revealed personal phobia). His interaction with Kim and Ron are full of depth and complexity (especially that Ron empathizes with him).
It was amusing when Max freaks out again over nothing and Kim suggests that he leave, and Max irritably agrees with her.
Kim and Ron are going through the camp, relieved that Max is gone, though Kim still has to deal with Ron (though babysitting him is easy). Then they hear a scream (and it wasn’t Max) and rush to find out what happened: suspenseful.
The following scenes are SUPERB, full of drama, suspense, detail and emotion!
Max is wandering through the camp, painful memories taunting him, while he tries to resisting the urges to destructively panic. And one memory: running off and attacked by a green eyed monster (not related to envy) and in a flash, he is out cold and awakens in the Camp’s infirmary.
Meanwhile Kim and Ron fall into a trap set up by their old enemy, Gill and he isn’t alone( it was brilliant the way Ron was about to go all powerful on these guys, but Kim signals him not to, since she wants to know what they are planning first).
The plot thickens: Gill and his Boss, King Cobra have Kim and Ron as their prisoners.
It was dynamic when Cobra explains his origins: he was a scientist who worked at the camp, got mutated by an experiment gone wrong, and his run-in with a small boy and a flash of light that injured him (and was induced by his mutation into hibernating for years while his body healed) and undergoes a revelation "He is an advance being and with Gill’s aid, will evolve the rest of humanity and Kim and Ron don't agree with his plan (for obvious reasons).
The next following scenes are great: Max shows up and when he and Cobra King meet each-other, they recognized each-other from their last encounter and it was hysterical when Max has another more dramatized meltdown and runs away, with immeasurable speed and force across countless miles, and it was great when he past Drakken’s lair, wrecking it in the process and keeps running. And then stops and realizes how silly he is being and runs back, reversing the damage he caused, and passes Drakken and Shego again, undoing the damaged lair, leaving the criminal duo confused (very funny).
The return of Max (surprising Gill and King Cobra, and partially annoying Kim and Ron) was very amusing. The witty dialog and interaction was brilliant, and felt like a very Kim Possible moment.
It was great when Max and King Cobra get into their personal fight, while Ron unleashes his powers and goes after Gill, and while Kim tries to find a way to free herself, she discovers that Cobra’s special bomb is activated and she doesn’t have time to get out of range.
The fight between Max and King Cobra was very amusing. Max does seem to have the upper hand, and isn’t letting his trauma overwhelm him, though King Cobra is putting up a fight. Wonder if Max is going easy on him, or if King Cobra is powerful, even though Max is greater.
The fight between Gill and Ron was great. Gill is getting pummeled and then Ron makes a mistake- tossing Gill into the water, and we discover that Gill has an upgrade (He can control water, like a water bender in “the Last Airbender” series).
This new power is clever because its suspenseful, gives Gill and Ron near equal footing, and its not so big, its boring, or at the very least, its very big, but written in a way that is entertaining.
Gill and Ron are in a deadlock and then an interesting plot twist; Kim shows up and she has been mutated by King Cobra’s DNA bomb into a cat girl. The dialog and interaction (especially Kim’s miffed attitude) among them was interesting and then she aids Ron, and seems has an edge in winning, courtesy of Cobra’s mutation (kind of ironic for hero and villain alike).
The next scene with Max fighting King Cobra was great, full of great exchanges while they fight, then Max unleashes a simple but effective attack: icy wind which rendered the literally coldblooded mutant into hibernation.
The final fight between Kim and Ron against Gill was very well-written, and it’s great that Kim is very powerful (but it's not enough to want to remain a mutant). And that it was funny when Ron poked fun at Kim's catlike mutation and Kim getting sarcastic about it.
The wrap-up was good. King Cobra and Gill are taken away: Cobra's on ice, unable to do anything, while Gill is in a tank having his trademark hissy-fit. It's very fitting.
Kim is treated and resumes her human form, and it was great that though she is normal, a shadow of her mutation remains and Ron takes advantage of it, and Kim regains her senses and warns him not to do to that. It was so full of humor, depth and realism. It's a good thing, that shadow will fade overtime. Kim will not have a normal life with lingering mutant traits (Ok, her life isn't normal to begin with, but not the point).
The ending with Ron, Kim and Max was good too.
Kim and Ron are very in character.
Max is great, and the revealing of his personal weakness was fantastic. Powerful and seemingly omnipotent beings are very hard to do without being boring. You have always done great, giving his personality depth and balancing him in your past stories. But it rocks that you gave him a deep-rooted fear that makes him so human.
Gill is great. He is basically a good idea the series, but you gave him depth in your story.
Your original character, King Cobra is great, full of depth and complexity.
The Wholesome Standards are high.
The language is clean.
Nothing is suggestively offensive.
No extreme violence or any other vile content.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
| screaming phoenix chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
Well it's interesting to know that Ron isn't the only one with camp issues. And we can see what happens when the two of them can get together and act. Kim as a cat? Well Ron said it best. I imagine she would be kinda job!
| CajunBear73 chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Yeah that camp is such a place of evil, but maybe Max will clean it up... Or at least have fun doing it.
Still Ron's got some memories of the place that aren't totally going to give him nightmares, but only if Kim agrees to wear a catsuit every now and then. LOL!
| truephan chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Aaron: Very nice sssstory! I really liked it, except for the minor irritation of all of the 'esses'. I had a hard time deciphering them and it looked like I missssssed ssssseveral key pointsssss of the sssstory because of them (got tired of them myself just now!), and had to go back a couple of times to catch them-finally.
The action was good and your banter between the characters always has excellent timing and wit-except for King Cobra'sssss commentssss mainly because I obvioussssssly got dissssstracted. Still, your style with the banter in general is something to emulate.
Great job! truephan
| Katsumara chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
So.. I think Ron may like post-kitty Kim, eh? Haha. I know I would! Rawr.
As far as the whole story goes, oh god. Getting Max and Ron together and their hatred of Wannaweep shining through was just outstanding, man. Just so funny. Had me chuckling almost all the way through. Loved it. King Cobra? Just had me chuckling. I saw all the 'sssssssssssssss' coming a mile away, haha. I like how it all finished up. Max went total badass there.
Still can't get over how Kim was as a mountain lioness and then the string bit with Ron? Just rofl.
Great work, Aaron. Keep up the fine work. Glad ya finally got this out there!
| Cartoonofan chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
This was a very funny story, what with Max's freak-out, and all the hilarious cat puns. And King Cobra actually seems like a villain that could be on the show.
| Eddy13 chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Another good story, Aaron. While this story was admittedly short, it had good quality all the same. Funny how Max's reaction to Wannaweep was worse than Ron's. I guess we know what Max's childhood fear was. And you have to admit, in hindsight, it is more rational than what Ron feared. Very nice OC villain you've created as well. I do believe King Cobra will become very popular. Do hope we haven't seen the last of him. I don't know why, but I feel that enemies from childhood make the best foes. Speaking of which, Gill's new abilities were pretty impressive too. Being able to hide under the guise of a human and control water? Kind of wish the series did that for real.
Kim's mutation was pretty amusing and cool. You know, many people see her being like that. Overall, you did an excellent job again while at the same time, introducing a new villain to the KP fans. Whatever your next KP story is, it's bound to be just as good.