|Reviews for Power|
| Rune Tobor chapter 9 . 2/8
Ranma is NOT a romantic comedy!
It is a black satire on the pitfalls of "honor".
Sadly the writer wrote Ranma into a trap.
The easy way out is for someone to help Ranma, that is why you see so many crossovers.
The other ways need a change at the start, like pairing Ranma with Nabiki.
I hate canon Akane, would cheerfully torture canon Nabiki to death over a week, month, or year.
But you have a point with this fic, that's why it is on my favorite list.
| Pata Hikari chapter 1 . 11/16/2014
I'm sorry but the entire central "thesis" of this story, that Akane isn't a serious martial artist, is completely wrong.
At no point in the canon is this ever even shown. And in fact is contradicted by canon. Several points show Akane acting as a professional martial artist with Ranma, Genma, and Soun. Most notably when she goes down to Ryugenzawa because handling monsters is apparently a martial artists job in the Ranma universe.
If Akane having a life means she's not "serious" then Ranma isn't "serious" either since he's frequently shown reading manga, playing games, and just goofing around.
| A Loyal Dicloni chapter 9 . 10/5/2014
I must say, in full honesty this is my favorite fanfic for Xian Pu and Ranma, it just makes sense. Like, this is how it should be. I agree, Akane and Ranma aren't suitable in the least, it would be nothing but hard ships but with Xian Po, someone who lives in a similar world as Ranma would be able to understand him and help him improve. Regardless of how long ago this was written my friend, you have a great amount of talent and I will be reading many more of your works in the future.
| Z LOT847 chapter 9 . 3/4/2013
Damn, dude, this is impressive. I really liked the way that you nailed down Ranma and Shampoo's characters. Favorited.
| LordsFire chapter 9 . 7/20/2011
I would call this story less of a romance, and more of an example of some of the building blocks needed before there can *be* romance.
My little disagreement there aside, this is an excellent story.
| hchan1 chapter 9 . 7/1/2010
Absolutely wonderful story. Only complaint is about the summary, since it is... uninspired at best, and since I'm a "judges books by their covers" chap, made me miss out on reading this one for ages. Favorite pairing by far, and this is one of the few stories I've read that makes it work in a convincingly realistic manner.
| Majin Hentai X chapter 9 . 4/9/2010
Top notch these are the kinds of stories that make us mremember how fun it is to say fuck you to Takahashi.
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 9 . 1/28/2010
Wow, that was surprising good! I must admit that I was a little apprehensive about reading this fanfic because I wasn't sure if it was just another Ranma/Akane disguised to look like Ranma/Shampoo. However, I've heard nothing but good things about this story from several other notable and exceptional Ranma/Shampoo fanfic writers, so I decided to tough it out.
And though there was a fairly good chunk of it dedicated that my most abhorred Ranma pairing, I can't thank you enough for ending it as you did. In fact, you've made this story so well in-character and well-written that it ALMOST feels like it could've come straight out of canon (which I think it SHOULD'VE!).
If I had to list down any negatives for this story, I could only think up two.
1) While the characters used are all beautifully accurate to their canon selves, I'm saddened by the fact that none of the rest of the NWC were able to make it into the story. While the fathers' were excellently done, they hardly had any screen time when compared to Akane, Ranma, and Shampoo. Kami knows that Ryoga would've GREATLY enjoyed seeing Akane trash Ranma so thoroughly in the beginning, and Ukyo would've likely jumped Akane demanding answers to how she could've gotten so ridiculously powerful in an instant. And let's not even mention what the Kuno's reactions would've been!
2) That you had to bring this story to an end so quickly. There are precious few Ranma/Shampoo fics out there, and among those only a VERY select few are worthwhile. And this one is most definitely one of those! I wish you could've extended its length another 20,0 words (at the very least _;; ).
I hope you will eventually decide to write another story like this one some day in the relatively near-future. Until next time...
| Mapel chapter 9 . 1/14/2010
I read this fic a long time ago, when I was a passionate Akane fan, and it was one of very few stories with non-canon pairings I really liked.
I liked it so much, in fact, that when I in a nostalgic moment decided to reread a few Ranma fics, it was the very first one I thought of.
I was not disappointed. It is an exceptionally good fic, and quite probably ranks in the top ten Ranma fan fics I have ever read.
I do hope, if boredom or nostalgia ever come for you, that you consider writing another Ranma fic, be it a sequel or unrelated.
(Will of course give your SO fics a shot if I ever replay those games...)
Anyway, thanks for being a good writer.
| Azure Neko chapter 9 . 10/13/2009
One thing to say.
New Favorite story.
| Gemini011 chapter 9 . 6/18/2009
First, let me say that I do in fact favor the Ranma/Akane pairing. I had a feeling about where this story was going from the beginning, but I stuck with it because it was an interesting idea and I wanted to see what you would do with Akane's character. After finishing it, I have mixed feelings.
On the one hand, I feel that the story had a satisfying conclusion, supported by the story and the characterizations that preceded it. I can see how you arrived at your portrayal of Akane, as someone who does not take martial arts as seriously as the other martial artists in the series, and even then mostly for the ability to beat people up/defend herself. She did, after all, have to deal with the hentai horde and Kunou even before Ranma showed up; and it seems fairly canon that Soun hasn't been invested in her training for some time, possibly contributing to her lack of single-minded devotion to the Art. There's even precedent for her using a quick power-up to beat Ranma when she ate the Super Soba (and when she used the Battle Dogi, but I think that might be anime only), with predictable results.
On the other hand, the story has kind of an unfinished feel to it (though I'm guessing that was your intent), with only the issue of Akane's eligibility as a fiancee for Ranma resolved. Plus the fact that I'm not sure I can really be happy with any story that tosses my favorite pairing out the window, but that's prejudice and perhaps not entirely rational. :P I won't present any rabid arguments for why your analysis of the situation could never be right, at any rate.
Regarding the technical aspects of the story, I recommend using brackets on both sides of Chinese speech rather than just on one side like this. Doing so would clarify where the characters start speaking. Having to go back and check where the character started speaking took me out of the story time and time again. As for the formatting, a space between paragraphs would aid readability.
Of course you posted this story seven years ago, so you might not want to bother editing it... but just in case. :P
Thanks for an interesting and well thought out story.
| zmz1999 chapter 9 . 4/8/2009
Very well written. I read this years ago and thought it was good then. It holds up well in a reread.
| CattyNebulart chapter 9 . 3/6/2009
This is an interesting story,and I'm glad I found it.
Akane sometimes comes over as too much of a bully, but overall you do a good enough job of showing us how she is drunk on power. I would suggest tweaking the events leading up to the savage beating of Shampoo a bit and show us a bit more of the fight. Make it less a vindictive beating and more of a fight that got out of control especially on Akane's part.
And yes I would class this as a romance story because the emotions of the characters and the relationships between them are so important. Which is the defining feature of romance stories, not kisses or other such common tropes associated with romance stories.
| Frank chapter 9 . 1/3/2009
Very enjoyable story. For me the best part of it was at no time did I feel that this was going out of character at all. Characters acted quite well within their limits and the story felt well grounded and quite possible. All in all the relationship blooming between him and Shampoo seems quite believable...But still for such a relationship to work he'd have to deal with automatically being considered inferior due to his gender by the Amazons in China as well as dealing with Shampoo turning into a cat his most hated animal...So while I don't think a relationship between the two would work you definitely planted a seed that is quite indeed believable. I also love how you made certain to state that by no means was everything settled, simply that Shampoo had a much better chance in the running then before.
All in all excellent story. Thank you very much for writing it.
| Ganheim chapter 9 . 12/6/2008
"I'm not... afraid," they whispered quietly.
[Number agreement: 'they' is a plural reference. Though for the necessity of an obscure second-person reference, it's sometimes used otherwise, those situations only really work when the subject _might_ be plural. In this case where the person (already identified as boy) is clearly singular, it makes sense for 'he' but not 'they'.]
Their face winced
[Pronoun agreement: 'His']
movement aggravated the scores of injuries
the child reached out their hand
[Pronoun agreement: his]
around their legs, waist,
[Pronoun agreement: his]
they looked beseechingly
[Pronoun agreement: he]
towards their father.
[Pronoun agreement: his]
the smells of the fish
coming into their eyes.
[Pronoun agreement: his]
Xian Pu, wake up,
[The idea of using extra/alternative punctuation to indicate Mandarin is clever (I've seen it in other stories), but it appears that your choice has been half consumed by QuickEdit (another reason I'm still allied with KQEC, see profile for more). Every single opening angle bracket is missing. One alternative that I've seen that QuickEdit didn't eat was using ordinary double quotation marks, and placing a hyphen immediately inside the dialog (“-Mandarin-”).]
But Ranma was...
[Repetition of 'but' starting the sentence. Either one could be altered, but I think the simplest solution is just to remove this one.]
"Right. I'll do that... hey!"
But all were cross and mastered,
[Verb tense agreement: crossed]
his body was still fairly
[Extraneous soft return.]
who the predator and who the prey
[Missing existence verbs: 'was'. The sentence looks awkward without them.]
his turned his head
feeling at the moment.
[Superfluous soft return.]
Nabiki had no idea why a Kiss of Death hadn't been issued yet,
[Maybe because Shampoo already gave Akane a Kiss of Death?]
And my five primary senses all tell me that you're being perfectly honest with me."
[I feel this is out-of-character with Cologne. There are many ways to read a person, and the most effective ones combine a plethora of factors. Body posture, voice tone, the way the muscles around the neck and eyes are tensed, more vague yet first-hand-discernable flickers in the eyes...these are important and difficult-to-disguise factors that use the common Western-recognized five senses (which don't recognize everything humans have, they're just the easiest to measure). Would Cologne be using that (those) other(s) to tell Nabiki's lying? Sure, but she'd also be using her long experience to pick up the betraying hints Nabiki doesn't think she's giving. The middle Tendo may be good, but however you spin it she's still only a teenager and can still be beaten with experience.]
[Superfluous soft return]
on Kholkoz High's baseball team.
['Kholkoz' is most definitely not a Japanese name. It doesn't fit Japanese syllable construction.]
"I suppose that you're going to start training for drunken martial arts now?"
[The funny thing is, drunken fu is real.]
driving her to istraction for far too long.
Ranma seemed to know have missed
but intoxicating addictive at the same time.
[Although it should be 'intoxicatingly' in this context, I think only one of those words is necessary.]
Between okonomiyaki chef's bizarre cooking-styled fighting, and the psychotic gymnast's hit-and-run distance style, neither felt like a true fight.
[Interesting evaluation, and both feel true to the character outlook.]
the door to the Nekohanten was thrown up with enough force to actually crack one of the hinges.
[The front door to the Nekohanten is sliding, it doesn't have hinges.]
to crack the remaining hinge,
[The Cat Cafe's door is sliding, it doesn't have hinges. Only the interior doors in the living space are Western-style swinging doors.]
person who does martial artist.
the Ranma you had those feelings for... wasn't the real Ranma. I don't think he ever was."
[I think this drives quite strikingly at the misconceptions that a lot of the characters (particularly Akane) had over the course of the series.]
You're right. Ranma and I... aren't alike.
[This is a remarkable step of maturity that Akane is making.]
[Superfluous soft return]
Your story around Ranma's need for somebody to meet him on his martial arts point was fair, hindered mostly by the spacing and a few technical issues. Fortunately, the characterization seemed fair and it was great to see almost no character bashing (though, like I said, I disagreed with the use of Cologne). The only thing I really would've asked for would be more narrative, more of the action and what/where/how, because the vast majority of this story was dialog. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, Isaac Asimov is dialog-centric, but I like a little more meat (narrative) on the story.