|Reviews for Heartbroken|
| withany chapter 2 . 10/19/2011
I really had to chuckle at "neuter, my ass" because it's so unlike the Edward we normally hear. This was an interesting look into his formative years and motivation and how huge an effect meeting Bella had on every aspect of his life.
I really like how you think and write.
| withany chapter 1 . 10/19/2011
This is a different train of thought from any story I've read before. It's good to see a different viewpoint.
Now to see whether Bella was right.
| Julia Ba chapter 2 . 9/13/2011
What a beautiful story! Though it is short there's serious thought you put in it and I loved the way you opened E's character through sexuality.
If something's truly missing from the original twilight saga then it is the scenes like these - intimate scenes that show the depth of the characters and through their history too.
I loved it! Thank you.
| xsamanthacullenx chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
thanks for reviewing my story, my dirty little secret, this is a great story!
| catharticone chapter 1 . 4/19/2011
This is a poignant tale-surprising yet satisfying in the end. I like that you left it open, with Bella and the reader wondering.
Your writing is lovely and evocative. I'm eager to read more of your work!
| ML chapter 2 . 1/23/2011
I'm confused. So Edward is in love with Carlisle and Bella is a consolation prize. Poor, Bella.
| capitaine-awesome chapter 1 . 1/11/2011
Just an idea... Threaten your readers for reviews! If you want more reviews you have to ask for it! I once told my own readership exactly how much time and work effort went into one chapter and that I'd appreciate their input/reviews. It worked ... that chapter got 17 reviews. You write incredibly well.
I agree with you on the Edward Carlisle part. To certain extent, I feel, they are closer and share an even deeper bond than with their spouses, so it's inevitable that there was romantic tension between them. anyway... gotta get back to studying.
| jmolly chapter 2 . 10/18/2010
You know you had me concerned there for a minute, about B's ability to handle E's revelations, but you took this in a softer direction than I was expecting, and she was more than up to the task. Indeed, a little jealousy might not be unhealthy for them. lol.
Boy, I wonder what B will think when she next meets Tanya. Snickers.
One of these days I am going to catch up on my reading. I think you may be a couple of chapters ahead on the Lure from where I left off.
Have been away 4 days, and I am just back, and catching up on admin details. Sigh.
Looking forward to that sequel, my dear.
| ManiacMotherland chapter 2 . 10/16/2010
First off, and related to nothing else in this review, I always enjoy it when people (especially people like yourself to whom English is a second language) use the apostrophe correctly in date ranges. :)
"Bella, let me finish. I am almost done… I… I need it."
Taken out of context, you don't really know what Edward is asking to "finish". The conversation, or the purge of guilt/confession, or the sex act. But they are very similar activities. In regards to creative writing, I often think about the herb that made Zeus spew forth his previously swallowed children, who all would become mighty gods and goddesses in their own right, when I think about the of self-revelatory process of writing our thoughts for other people to view. It is very raw, almost rather unseemly, but you feel this need to project yourself out into the world. And you hope that there is something more than vomit on the other side of your evacuation. Maybe a child, a story, that you can dress up and take with you to town.
But this is just me rambling, as you know is my wont. I always think too much anyway. Talk to you later. Thanks for sharing.
| Krystyne chapter 2 . 10/15/2010
This is a very interesting concept. I like the originality of it. Really cool
| tghb chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
maybe he did. I don't think bella would be appalled with the idea. I think she'd find it a turn on, if anything. I think in breaking dawn, edward should dump bella, jazz should dump alice, and e/j live hea. Just my train of thought...
| philadelphic chapter 2 . 10/15/2010
Edward is just incredibly finicky, like a cat who will eat nothing but goose liver on lotus blossoms!
great character study, 3
| AnnaLund chapter 2 . 10/15/2010
sweet, very sweet.
good to know he tried the gay thing and it didn't work ;-)
Slow and comfortable, Edward and Bella are doing well here. Probably only minutes before she understands why she is hungry all the time and why she is sleeping so much.
Nice, nice, very well done
| maxigrumpling chapter 1 . 10/14/2010
You have a remarkable gift for explaining the intimacies of relationships. You've given me so much to think about, the missing pieces of Edward's history and the back story to Carlisle and Esme's coming together.
Normally the idea of Edward and another male is repellant to me, this however was not. I really was interested to note if he experimented, if only to assuage his own sexual doubts.
Thank you again, you've given me pause for thought.
| jmolly chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
Wow, this is well-written. I'm in awe.
Everything about this story is plausible. Seamless. Well done.
I must admit you left me feeling a bit uneasy on both their behalves. That is quite the deep secret for him to have kept, when the intent was to marry.
Obviously, he is now thoroughly confident in his sexuality. However, I question whether Bella would be confident enough in her own attractiveness to absorb this information without having any jealousy or doubts creep in. Canon Bella was always so insecure in her own skin.
Perhaps I'm missing something, not bringing to mind the canon in which this story is rooted. I should reread the main tale.
I fear a negative fallout from this revelation. It is not a complaint that there is anything wrong (or presently relevant)with what he did so many years ago. But he is trusting that she is mature enough to handle the information, and I am worried that she is not.
She is just discovering herself as a sexual being, and also learning what other people do, while he has had years to figure out how people act together, and presumably has been fantasizing for 2 years about doing what appeals to him with Bella.
The way Bella is written, as a young, chaste girl, too naive to want to say the word 'orgasm' aloud, makes me worry that she will react with shock, insecurity, disgust or jealousy. Because even an older woman might react that way.
So, basically, he has jumped off a bridge and trusted her thoroughly to catch him. That is both wonderful and terrifying. Being Bella, she will catch him. But will it put a fly in the ointment? I don't know. I'm holding my breath, literally, to see how she responds.
Do young girls who have no experience with straight sex seek out information about alternate experiences? I am a dinosaur, I know. But I'd have been overwhelmed by this sort of disclosure at B's age, and it would have taken me a long time to adjust.
This kind of news, followed a few days later by his rejection of the pregnancy? Whoa. She'd better be made of strong stuff. I'd have been floored.
So, a very thought-provoking and intriguing story, and not an approach I've seen taken before. Are you continuing it?