Reviews for The True King
90TheGeneral09 chapter 1 . 6/15/2013
This was impressive! Also, this is your first story posted here on , if I'm not mistaken. For a first-story and a one-chapter "drabble", it's excellent. Very impressive. I initially was reluctant to read it, fearing that since it is based on the "Final Fantasy" series, one I am unfamiliar with, I would not be able to appreciate what its content well. Turns out I was incorrect about that; the talk of Elves, Dark Elves, humans, wizards, pirates, etc. all relates very much to the Elder Scrolls series of video games. Having played Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind as well as ES IV: Oblivion for many hours, I recall that all of those things I mentioned also appear in Elder Scrolls. I basically pictured this Astos as an Elder Scrolls-type Dark Elf and was able to proceed fairly easily from there. The story was well-written and I liked reading it a lot. I also respected- even admired- the intelligence, willpower and initiative of the Dark Elf, King Astos. You mentioned how impressive a villain he was to you when you learned the true reason for his focus on possession of the Crown, and I in turn was impressed with Astos here. I assume that the reason this is Astos' "last" thoughts, is because he is killed in the fight that follows. Yes? Oh, one other thing. I found a typo. "In SPIT of all of his careful planning he had still erred, and that one error could wreck all." I all-caps wrote the error. It should be "In spite of...", not "In spit of". Otherwise, an excellent first story from one of the very best fanfiction writers I've encountered on this site. Excellent work. This one's going in my Favourites.
Hawaiian Chocobo chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
Cool, dude. You know your FF!
Iron lad chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
Nice! You are good at this introspective narrative; Have you tried romance? I think you would be good, you should try writing something for Locke and Ceres.
Dr Facer chapter 1 . 11/17/2010
I must admit that I played the first Final Fantasy as a child on my Nes many, many years ago (I think I was eleven or twelve) and that I have never played it again. I remember getting incredibly frustrated by not knowing what the heavens I was supposed to do and having to resort to a Video Game to finish it, which took me months. I certainly not remember who Astos is or much of the story in the original Final Fantasy other than it involved time travel at the end and a fight with Chaos or something.

Anyway, memories aside, let's comment on the story here.

I must commend your narrative style, which is very well paced and descriptive enough to plant the idea of the scenery in the reader in a rich and vivid way but without getting in the way; I say it is very effective. Characterization is something that I can't properly judge because I don't remember anything about Astos, but I liked how you wrote him and how you delved into his mind, his ambitions and his reasons to do what he is doing, I can tell you really thought well about how the character would react to the situations that motivated his actions. I think you did a very good job with this and I liked it. The pace is also a good thing here, it isn't fast, which allows you to draw the reader in and it helps that the story is a slow burner, since it lets the reader connect with the main protagonist better. I liked how you didn't show the battle between Astos and the warriors of light, since his fated is sealed, and ambiguous ending fits the story better.

Overall a very good job, congratulations.
Mathais chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
I have to admit, it's been a long time since I've played Final Fantasy. And, funnily enough, I read this right after my friend was complaining about the fact that Astos kept killing one of his party members (he said he was too lazy to walk back to town to get healing and revival items), so he was fresh in my mind.

For all the minimal backstory the game gives, you managed to weave an interesting take on his actions and motivations. I like how each point that the game gives is expanded upon in your story until it makes a whole tale. The image of him fleeing Matoya's inaccurate spells actually really struck me as amusing.

And I liked the segway into battle. I didn't quite feel sad for his predicament, but I did feel a little sympathy that, for all his planning, he is merely a stepping stone, a footnote, into what the Light Warriors will truly accomplish.

Good job!