Reviews for Out of the Box
verity candor chapter 10 . 11/22/2010
Awww... poor Jesse.

This makes me very sad for him (which I'm not sure I like very much). You do a great job preserving his voice here - and his snooty, holier-than-thou attitude even when he has nothing to back it up. Especially for this line :

"his face is 98.7% symmetric – nearly the Golden Ratio. (He plans to get the other 1.3% fixed via the blade after his first big paycheck.)"


I love how you twisted his story so much, and made it so poignant, really. I actually felt very sympathetic towards him.

Great job!
verity candor chapter 9 . 11/22/2010
Finally - I know this fandom!

I loved the characterization of Quinn here - you do a great job getting her thoughts - slightly panicky and freaked out, but still lovably bitchy.

I enjoyed the dialogue a lot (especially the line about the carton of apple juice before Mass - I cracked up), and your Puck was kind of adorable -him stuttering in the parking lot was somehow the high point of this fic. Actually, that's a lie, I definitely think the ending was the best part, not only for the shameless cuuute, but also for the fact that it /sounded/ like him in my head.

Good Job!
verity candor chapter 7 . 11/22/2010
Unfortunately, I understood this not at all. I'm so sorry, but I'm clueless about this fandom. I liked the ending very much though - the short, choppy sentences really hit the reader hard. You manage to convey a really effective sense of doom about the mysterious grey paste - which intrigues me.

Umm, there were some grammar issues, but not too many - a good read through would fix them, I think.

I liked how you connected the two... siblings? spouses? I dunno. Characters, let's say. You showed very well how they are similar, and how they are different, with Nuada (who's male?) as more studious and focused and Nuala as a sort of spectator to his explorations.

Good job!
verity candor chapter 6 . 11/22/2010
Awww... cu-ute.

I don't know Battlestar Galactica (though I've heard good things about it), but I liked the fic very much.

I loved the beginning - fantastically evocative, and very vivid. And the later comparison between Gaius and the lamb was a great connection and a fantastic image.

Six's concern - and her story - were both handled very well, and I liked the loose end you left with the possible search for the baby's mother. (Something I'd like to hear more about? Maybe?)

The ending was rather nice (and rather sweet), I just wish it had been a little less abrupt - maybe with something more about the name, or her baby (I think?). Overall though, this is a really well-written, and lovely story.
verity candor chapter 5 . 11/22/2010
Very,, extremely, ridiculously cute. Again - professing my lack of knowledge about ANYTHING to do with this show (except that it's that Teen Pregnancy Show. Really. That's all I know.)

I very much liked how you characterized both of the characters here - they were very believably teenaged, and I liked Ben as the unfortunate nice guy.

The dialogue was also very funny, and very witty. It definitely got some snorts from me, especially the I'm a tool/Fifth Amendment bit - very clever!

You did a great job alluding to both of their past relationships (with two people who dated/had a baby togather?) and how this relationship came with more baggage but was less hurtful for both of them.

Great Job!
verity candor chapter 4 . 10/21/2010

I don't this fandom either (sorry, I'm like a hermit!) and so I can't really say I get much of the subtext. I do however, really like the relationship between the brothers (which they are, I hope?) and how well you show the differences between them but the fact that they are very close comes through quite clearly, too - Sam as the steady, dependable-ish thinker, and Dean as the flightier, act-first type.

And this, of course, made the twist much more affecting.

First off all, I liked, very much, how you didn't break up the two sections, which makes the shock almost as strong for the reader as for Dean when he wakes up and Sam isn't there. I'm assuming the second part happens after the ermm, Lucifer/Michael thing has been dealt with and Sam is dead, so his feelings of guilt and regret at the end were very believable, and the character of Lisa was well sketched, too - she seems a very believable companion for Dean.

Overall, a really nice fic, and one that's made me really interested in the fandom.
verity candor chapter 3 . 10/21/2010

Can I just say I loved the beginning of this fic? It's a great introduction, and you manage to show that Wendy hasn't really left London behind very well just with the fact that she realizes her hair is a total mess, but still considers it "the crown and glory of her overall beauty." - Very nice!

There are a lot of other little touches like that, which are simultaneously very funny, and very touching (Like Tiger Lily's dress), and very, I think, true to how Wendy would react to having had stayed in Neverland. Her characterization throughout was very consistent, all the way down to the end.

The teensy problem I had though was the dialogue, which didn't really sound like something two ten-eleven-year-olds would say to one another. I may have the age group wrong, and obviously both of them have been alive for longer than that, but it seemed a little mature for them.

Overall, though, a great fic.
verity candor chapter 2 . 10/21/2010

I suppose that knowing the fandom would have made this a lot easier to understand, because the ending seemed slightly anticlimactic to me. Does baseball go on to become a big part of her life? That was the impression I got, and if so, makes the ending make much more sense.

Other than me being confused plotwise, though, the characterization of Virginia was probably the best thing about this fic. I loved how showed her gradual progression from relatively-satisfied waitress and into someone who wants to experiment a little.

The one thing I thought perhaps needed some work was the side characters. I liked how much flavor you gave the grandmother, but the father seemed a little cliche. The two men at the table were quite fun though!

Good job!
verity candor chapter 1 . 10/21/2010

Aww, EHWIES, I liked this a lot. I'm not really familiar with the Sims, but I gather this is some sort of Shakespearean takeoff?

Anyways, your characterization of Gonerial was great - especially the poignancy in her conversation with Miranda.

The side characters were nicely handled to - you managed to make Goneril's world very believable (and Kent was probably my favorite character!)

I liked that you really stuck to the out of the box thing, and showed all of the awkward, uncomfortable moments that come with deciding to change your lifestyle, and especially how not everything works out all at once.

Great job!
eSJa chapter 10 . 10/20/2010
Ok, I read this from your profile first, but I'm leave the review here. p

Obviously this is well written, if it wasn't I would call plagerism and raise a mob. XD

Ok, with that out of the way...I love it, I really do because everyone expects Jesse to go far, be famous and rich. It makes a lot of sense that he would party it up after graduating. And it seems only fitting that all the bravado and ego get knocked down a peg by such a stereotypical mistake.

More Glee pls? D
eSJa chapter 9 . 10/20/2010
I enjoy Glee, but I enjoy you even more! XD

This is a great, great what-if. So many things would change if Quinn hadn't gotten preggers. I mean the whole show basically, you don't realize how much that one event affected everything until you think about it.

You wrote both Quinn and Puck really well, they both come off as their usually snotty, popular selves; however you also show the caring and longing sides to them that now won't really come out. I'm a Quick fan truely told, and while this made me sad it also got me a little excited about how things might have turned out now.

Fantastic job Maddie!
eSJa chapter 8 . 10/20/2010
I have no clue about this fandom, but I want to now!

I was a little confused at first who all was involved in this, but by the end I had a good handle on it, which is a testament to your writting skills.

I love the ominous feel you give Alessan walking to his fate. The symbolism between his chest and sword is great, especially considering how young he is.

Also the chill between father and mother lends to the drama, which when he smiles at Alessan all the more sweet. Great job!
eSJa chapter 7 . 10/20/2010
It always amazes me that such a short story convays so much. XD

You really capture Nuada's desire and drive to learn and eventually lead, paired with Nuala and the humanity he shows her in teaching what no one else will, you give him a side you almost want to root for. Good job!
eSJa chapter 6 . 10/20/2010
I am a fan of BSG, but didn't really watch the last two seasons as they aired, but did catch the finale.

This is a great peice, well written and it really portrays both Six and Gaius as who they ended up being instead of vilified as they often are.

With such a complex series as this one is, it can be hard to not be OCC with the cast, but you have done an amazingly wonderful job showing them as human. Great job!
eSJa chapter 5 . 10/20/2010
I know nothing of this fandom, but if it's anything like you wrote it I'm going home and finding it on Netflix and marathoning the entire series. XD

This was bittersweet, considering the situation they are in and their relationship they are being pretty mature, which is kind of odd if they're teenagers but not unheard of.

Even though its so short both Ben and Adrian are well fleshed out and very real, which can be hard to do in one chapter let alone a thousand or so words. Basically I'm trying to say its very well written and I really enjoyed it.
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