|Reviews for Snuffed|
| zanganito chapter 1 . 2/16/2015
Your first sentence is really eye catching. It shows that Jessie isn’t used to being poor, and implies that he is going to have to deal with either being poor or close to poor. Or maybe that someone else considers him to be poor.
And then this line here: /When he thinks of poor, he thinks of the lazy bums he sees outside the McDonald's every day, dressed in rags and stinking of piss/ shows that he’s a naïve jerk who hasn’t had much experience with either being poor or other people who are poor, since the only images that come to mind are graphically unflattering clichés. “Dirty and lazy” which he of course, from his completely unbiased opinion is not.
/Jesse isn't dirty; he showers two times a day, thankyouverymuch./ And then he goes on to whine about how he isn’t dirty because he wastes water.
/he practices his singing and dance moves a minimum of three hours a day./ Of course, doing something that he values makes him “not lazy.” And he whines about his potential talent that supposedly hasn't made him any money yet.
/and now he's stuck at some lame community college, taking business classes and throwing his life away. He no longer lives at home - his parents gave him enough money for a cheap, smelly apartment, but they promised that was it./ Wow, that’s it? He’s whining about being poor because he’s going to community college, his parents pay for his apartment, and he might have to *gasp* work to support himself? He’s definitely a whiny jerk who doesn’t know much about being poor if he sees going to community college as “throwing his life away” rather than an opportunity.
/Apparently one DUI is enough to completely snuff out your rising star./ Well, maybe one day he’ll learn about consequences for actions and won’t be quite so much of a jerk. Doesn’t seem like he’s learned much yet.
Overall, and interesting picture of a whiny character. It was entertaining and well-written.
| MissScorp chapter 1 . 2/8/2015
Hi there and congratulations on your story being nominated as Best Story Written by a RLter in the Reviewers Choice Awards!
I am absolutely fandom blind here so apologies if I mistake anything!
This piece definitely opens with a shebang here: ((Jesse St. James doesn't know how to be poor.)). I instantly found myself wondering about Jesse, who he was and why he's spending his time reflecting on how he (doesn't know how to be poor). I started to imagine that he is some spoiled, indulged middle-class kid who looks at the world through rose-tinted glasses. By his own words, ((He thinks of those people – dirty people, lazy people, ugly people, untalented people – as poor.)). In his head? He's not poor. He's not poor because ((...the one thing Jesse. St. James will always have is talent; pure, raw talent.)). For Jesse (at least at this point in the story), his talent is what makes him rich. Of course, that open pocket book of mommy and daddy sure don't hurt to have.
This section here: ((He can pretend this is an acting exercise all he wants, but he knows the truth; the full ride to UCLA? Gone. Bright and shining future? Gone. Supportive parents with an unlimited checkbook at hand? Gone, too. It's all gone.)) shows how Jesse has finally had the glasses ripped off. Just why everything is gone, I don't know right at this moment, but it's abundantly clear that he's lost next to everything that means something to him because of a choice he's made.
This line: ((Apparently one DUI is enough to completely snuff out your rising star.)) is a perfect ending line. It sums up everything perfectly. Jesse makes more than a bad choice that ends up costing him everything-he drives drunk. However what is. Most fascinating for me is that he doesn't lament over how he could have killed someone, injured someone, or lost his own life/caused himself serious injury with his decision. Not sure if this is being caused by fandom blindness or what, but it tells me that Jesse doesn't overly care about either his life or anybody else's for that matter. All that matters to him are the material type things that he lost.
In all, very good job!
| Cheile chapter 1 . 2/6/2015
Wendyyyy &hearts Fandom-blind on Glee, FTR.
What is great abt this piece is how easily you illustrate Jesse's obvious arrogance. Judging homeless people for not being squeaky-clean in the literal sense and moms on food stamps? Yea, this kid's got asshat problems in spades. But it's great because it makes this reader roll her eyes and say choice things directed at my monitor meant for him ;) which is what I'd do if this were part of something I'm watching—I'm a very reactionary reader/viewer. So good work there!
And he takes it one step further than classism—bragging mentally about his golden voice and pure talent. Here again, his arrogance is well-illustrated. He prides himself on not being lazy—it is true that having talent means you cannot slack at it, you must keep working on it. He thinks he is good-looking and that only a small part of himself is not flawless, and how easily he can allegedly fix whatever minute flaws he has with plastic surgery.
And then you throw us the curveball—and show us how far he's fallen. That he's "throwing his life away" at a community college, taking a major he doesn't want and getting no help from his rich parents. Best of all, you show how he has to face reality—that he can't try to wish it away by thinking it's a living exercise for a drama class. This is his life, whether or not he likes it, and he caused it because he got caught driving drunk.
Wonderful little character study and I enjoyed it despite not knowing the fandom at all. Thanks for sharing &hearts
| Surburia chapter 1 . 2/3/2015
Pretty canon blind here, but that didn't stop me from enjoying your story. Even with a word count of under 500, I felt like I quickly came to know and understand Jesse St. James. The first part of the story does a great job setting up how Jesse views himself in relation to others. He comes across as narcissistic, superior and perhaps sheltered. His negative view of people from a different background, and how he looks down on people who aren't as well off as untalented and dumb, could very well have given him an inflated ego that in turn was was indirectly responsible for the loss of his scholarship and parental support. I have feeling that he saw himself as invincible, never thinking that one DUI could cost him everything.
The fact that he doesn't change after the DUI, viewing his new situation as quite negative, is understandable given what he thought was in store for his future. But it also leaves him as a static character. Perhaps that's true to canon though. Sometimes it seems as if people are incapable of learning from their mistakes. Though the fact that he regrets his action will perhaps lead to an evaluation of his values and views. So there's a hint at redemption.
Nice short! Is Jesse the antagonist? If so, I think you've done an excellent job exploring what fuels him.
| Midorima Kazunari chapter 1 . 1/31/2015
For my own goal for the Reviewathon, I’m making a tour through all the mods and admins of RLt. I’m fandom blind for Glee, but I don’t think knowledge of the show is necessary. On to the review…
“Jesse St. James doesn’t know how to be poor.” He might not know how to be poor, but from that loaded first sentence, I could tell immediately that Jesse wasn’t going to be fiving the high life in this short piece.
“…dressed in rags and stinking of piss…” Wow, pampered much? I’m not sure if this character is likeable in canon, but he’s not very relatable.
I don’t think Supermarket or Food Stamps need hyphens.
“…dirty people, lazy people, ugly people, untalented people…” All of these kinds of people can be poor, but his judgmental attitude makes him poorer.
“…he showers two times a day…” I hope he has free water with his “smelly apartment,” otherwise he’s wasting money. Those who don’t have enough, don’t waste money of things like “impeccably full and shiny hair.” Something tells me he’s just crying poor.
“…via the blade after his first big paycheck…” Poor judgment and poor priorities. Seems like he has a skewed self-image as well.
“…one thing Jesse. St. James…” I’m pretty sure there isn’t supposed to be a period after Jesse.
“…those Lima losers.” Yes, you have confirmed for me that he’s a jerk.
He must have done something pretty awful to get disowned and lose his scholarship.
“The one thing he’ll always have, though, is regret.” Regret is free and easy to reap.
On DUI? All this drama is about a single DUI? I’m not sure what the legal ramifications of a DUI are in California, but that seems a little harsh, even if he is a jerk. Did he kill someone? I know DUI is a serious thing, but everyone is entitled to a mistake (if he didn’t harm anyone or anything). Wow, but yeah, you’ve painted him as a huge drama queen, so I guess one strike is all he deserves.
Although I know nothing of Glee, you really got me to feel those angry (at him) feels. Nice job and Happy Reviewathon.
| December Sapphire chapter 1 . 1/31/2015
Hiya Wendy! I'm not fandom blind, I just haven't seen this show in a very long time.
I remember Jessie. I never really liked him all that much truthfully. I felt he was always in the way of Finn and Rachel's relationship.
For being such a short one-shot, your character development is really well done. The first sentence [Jesse St James doesn't know how to be poor] tells us he's a rich boy who likes to live off his parents money. Then in the next few paragraphs you explain it more thoroughly and clearly tells us he sees lower class people as 'losers' and thinks he's better then everyone. That part I couldn't help but laugh.
Then the tone changed and the angst started to seep in. [He's so ashamed] Now he knows how it feels like. Karma is not nice and he is finding out the hard way. I don't feel bad for Jessie and I say he deserves it. [Apparently one DUI is enough to completely snuff out your rising star] And that's the problems with fame and having glory. People think they can do whatever they want and won't get into trouble. But with just one mistake, and you can loose it all. At least Jessie understood that and regretted how he treated everyone. I guess from there I can give him some leeway.
Very great job with this one-shot Wendy! So short, but so beautifully written!
| Madam'zelleG chapter 1 . 1/29/2015
Hello my precious one! I am pretty much completely fandom blind here, but with a summary like that, I really couldn't resist. I really love these brief character studies in any fandom, the way that you can pack so much punch in so few words.
I love, love, loved the way that you differentiated between the idea of being poor and being thrifty. There are stereotypes associated with both of them, and we can see that Jesse really doesn't see himself fitting into either category. The images that you used to describe the people he considers to be "poor" were very fitting, and just take your breath away on so many levels. That first paragraph is just bursting. I loved bits like the food stamps, something that have very much of a stigma attached to them.
And his voice comes through so well throughout. It's quick-paced, ready to be heard, and there's a certain amount of him really wanting to get his point across, even though he is ashamed at the same time. He's not wanting to be misunderstood, he doesn't want to feel like he's among those people that he looks down on. I'm seeing quite the fall from grace here, and it's obviously very hard for him to come to terms with this. Any time there's a drastic change in our lives, it can be hard to accept. He's no different.
Even his name "St. James" just works for something like this. As I'm viewing this as almost original fiction, it just freaking WORKS. He is not going to accept in his mind that he is useless, that he's insignificant. And there's denial in that he doesn't want to accept this is reality, but he's also got that fire inside of him. Has he learned a lesson here? I don't know... but what is clear is that he's really got it in the neck now. And that's somewhere nobody likes to be.
Very beautifully done, love. Really enjoyed this one.
| rhinosgirl chapter 1 . 1/27/2015
Hi, Wendy! Rhino here –hugs- I am not familiar with the Glee fandom, so please forgive me any canonical mistakes.
The opening sentence definitely garners my pity for Jesse St. James. Reading on, that feeling just keeps growing as I realise he seems to have essentially led a very sheltered life. He has obviously spent most of his life in one socio-economic class, and in a family that obviously spoiled him very much.
As I read on, I realise that, despite this, Jesse is clearly quite intelligent. He knows what the Golden Ratio is and what it means, and is good enough at (I presume) singing to get a full-ride university scholarship.
I am confused, however, as to what Lima refers to. The only Lima I know is a city in Peru. I doubt you are referring to that, since UCLA is in Los Angeles. Maybe it the name of his hometown, or the part of Los Angeles that UCLA is situated in?
I love that you left the reason for his being poor until the very last paragraph. It definitely kept me reading, searching for the missing information that would fill in the blanks for me.
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 1 . 1/27/2015
Heya, Wendy! Popping in from the RCA Noms to give your story a looksie. I feel I should warn you that I'm totally fandom blind, but I doubt that will be a problem. :D
Alright, this first paragraph is just HOLY CRAP. I love how instantly you characterise Jesse here. From the way he describes other people, without you ever saying a word about Jesse himself outside of this first sentence and only using his perceptions of others, I already have such a strong idea about who he is. He's somewhat arrogant. He's judgmental. He thinks of himself as some sort of above-the-world person and that anyone else, especially those who aren't so lucky and are poor, are only there because of themselves. He clearly lacks compassion, and he doesn't seem to care. It really sets him up instantly for me so I have a solid idea of what I'm getting into.
And of course, the way he contrasts himself against his perceptions solidifies it. He's beautiful and he practices music and he smells good and he thinks that makes him king of the world, and because of those few things, he's nothing like those poor people. Again, it just makes him clearly such a shallow person because he bases his own value off of mostly physical things, and he is evidently out of it enough to not realise that no, in fact, getting his face to the perfect ratio will not make him perfect or any less ugly than he is inside because there's no amount of money that can buy a decent heart. Again, he's arrogant. He doesn't think about others, only himself and his own qualities, and that blinds him to the fact that he isn't as great as he thinks he is.
And clearly Icarus burned his wings flying to the sun again, if this bit about how he's been kicked to the kerb is any indicator. I'd say I feel sorry for him, but I really don't. The harshness of reality is finally showing its face to him, and it's doing so hard. There's zero preparation for him to adapt to something like this, but now he has to and he has to do so fast. Reality is kicking him hard, and all he can do is wish that he could make himself believe it was all an act instead of having to live with the knowledge that this is what he's done to himself. He's lived his life doing whatever he wants with very little consequence because he thinks he's Mister Perfect McAwesomeness and now he's learning he's not in the most blunt way possible, all because of one slip of judgment and one error. It's hard to empathise with him, but I can't help pitying him.
This ending is just a great way of wrapping up the theme of the whole piece - life is harsh. You screw up, you don't always get redo-s. The past is the past, and we can't change it. All we can do is hope for the best in trying to make up for the things we've done wrong and hope to make it back to where we once were.
Talk about your powerful endings.
Overall, this piece is amazing. I love the way that you just characterise Jesse to hell and back so clearly that I feel like I genuinely know who he is despite being canon-blind, and the way that you so smoothly slip in this lovely message of reality and its harshness. This fic is an awesome reflection and sort of introspective to his character, and I love it to death. Wonderful work, Wendy - keep it up! Thanks for posting and bravo!
| StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 7/22/2013
.Gift for being awesome and participating in Reviewathon! .
I think that this was a good idea; I actually forgot who Jesse was, but by the way you've portrayed him, he appears to be a rather stuck-up rich boy, and I love that you've placed him in such a contrasting situation than what he's used to. I like how you show his disgust at all things poor as well- and in fact it makes me hate his snobbiness quite a bit. XD I also love how you've made him sound so snobby, in the way he showers all the time, makes his hair 'perfect' and he practices singing and dancing a lot. However, he also seems like a massive perfectionist, getting his face to be 100% symmetrical...
I loved the dramatic jump in this section : [No, Jesse St. James doesn't meet any of the requirements for poor. So why is he?] I love how dramatic you make it sound that he can't rely completely on this parents anymore, since to most readers, it would probably sound like 'it's not that big a problem' since it sounds like he's lived most of his life with little trouble anyway from this story. Seems Jesse can't handle being the best of the best anymore. I do feel a bit sorry for him since it's not a life he's used to, but at the same time, I do feel that he's just going to have to learn how to live as one of the regular folk now. It's actually quite cool that he's now gone down to somewhat of a similar level as he saw the people shopping with food stamps.
I do like that he's somewhat learnt his lesson in the end. :)
I haven't got any critique or suggestions for you, sorry! I do like how you've written about a rich boy coming to terms to living a life similar to the people he looks down to, though. Excellent job and keep up the good work! :D
| Scarlett88 chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
Powerful ending. :)
| StoryGirl02 chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
You know I ADORE anything with Jesse st. James, and I loooove you, so this is kinda adoration and love mixed together with a side order of amazing writing! The end was definitely a shoooocker, but still a good one. Ahhhhhhhhhh, I love this. Favouriting now. Come join me and E on the whirlwind that is Glee fan fiction writing yes yes?
| Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
OMG AT THE BOMBSHELL AT THE END OF THIS. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU. Basically, this is absolutely fantastic. I LOVE how Jesse's views of the poor characterize him, love love love, and of course, your writing style was gorgeous as always here. "Lima's brightest star's all out of gas." YES. And the detail about his face's symmetry-YES. Just YES at this whole fic. YES YES YES. I LOVE YOU. IT IS TWO IN THE MORNING AND I AM INCOHERENT AND PEOPLE READING THIS REVIEW MUST THINK I'M CRAZY. LY!