|Reviews for The Lost Key|
| Guest chapter 15 . 6/21
I apologize, your writing is beautiful really, you have a great vocabulary, and wide variety in sentence structure, as well as what seems to be an interesting, well thought out verse, but I cannot for the life of me, understand what is going on.
It just, seems very choppy to me, how often the scene will switch from one to the next, often with no connection or transition. We also never get an explanation to the events that happen in the story. I have no doubt that there was a complicated well made story underneath it all, but there was no way I could see it. There was no answer to any of the questions presented to us in the story and with such an ambitious storyline as canon divergent as yours, that explanation was sorely missed.
Furthermore, I also feel that your OC could have been fleshed out and developed a lot more, and considering this is a crossover fanfic and there are enough characters to fit in here as it is, I feel your OC was a little too out of place.
However, your writing as a whole and your imagery are amazing, and you have great potential as a writer. Keep writing, I would love to see more from you.
| Guest chapter 9 . 12/7/2015
This is just for future suggestions your focusing on your Oc more then the story so id suggest no more Oc or just back ground ones
| Guest chapter 8 . 8/7/2015
I'm sorry, but your writing is really choppy and its hard to understand at some points. I really like the story though and am still going to try to finish reading it. It sort of feels like you're trying to show to the reader every minute detail of a scene but the way you go about it doesn't flow smoothly enough and just leaves the reader (the reader as in me, I can't speak for others) confused. Like with Harry's point of view in this chapter, you go from describing the aphla wolf to the half bloods to what Harry is thinking and then what he saw to what he didn't see Nico doing and to what he did in fact see. I mean it's all fine but it's jumbled and confusing, and feels kind of rushed and the thing is it's one scene, because Harry is just taking everything in. But I love the story and I love Nico in this, and I truly commend how you portrayed all the characters. :)
| guest chapter 2 . 1/21/2014
| Guest chapter 8 . 9/22/2013
| Millenie chapter 15 . 5/18/2013
No se me ocurre otra palabra para describir tú historia. Ha sido tan sumamente interesante que me he quedado muda, y debo admitir que hacer que me calle es una tarea difícil xD
Creo que la trama es muy interesante y los personajes tienen una personalidad muy clara (Y te puedo decir que yo sé mucho de este tema, ya que mis personajes, normalmente, suelen ser muy liosos). La narración me ha encantando, has conseguido que las palabras vuelen al rededor de la pagina, como si estuviera viendo una película en vez de leyendo una historia y eso solo me ocurre cuando leo libros que están bien expresado gramaticalmente y/o tiene una trama tan entretenida que no puedo evitar obsesionarme con la lectura.
Espero poder volver ha leer una historia tan bien hecha como esta, sea tuya o de cualquier otro autor.
¡Nos leemos! :)
| rabbit keys chapter 15 . 3/17/2013
That was epic. Fabulous job.
| Cookie Seller On The Dark Side chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
| Padfootblack chapter 14 . 9/30/2012
Why dose Sirius have to die? : (
| mjkcsk chapter 15 . 9/3/2012
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/31/2012
Who the heck is this girl? This is confusing.
| mjkcsk chapter 14 . 9/2/2012
| DevilDancer1827 chapter 14 . 9/2/2012
This is a really good story. I can't wait for the next chapter. I love how you put all that feeling and emotions into the scenes and the battle was really cool.
| Tressa chapter 14 . 9/1/2012
Wow. I'm so glad you decided to continue this. Well written and engaging. I loved the build up in this chapter. There were so many feelings and emotions in this chapter- incredible. And even though it may not have come out how you wanted or thought what you have been giving us is incredible and exciting. Looking forward to the next chapter!
| BlueMew24 chapter 13 . 4/1/2012
Please don't leave the end hanging like that! This is an interesting story and I want to know how it ends and not be left like this.