|Reviews for Follow Me Up|
| elactress chapter 21 . 12/16/2011
FANTASTIC STORY! I very much look forward to your next one!
| Katie L chapter 21 . 12/5/2011
Wow, this is a really great story, probably one of the better "what ifs" of Tarrent coming up to the real world stories.
Overall, the story itself is very interesting and engaging. I don't know if it was just me but the beginning felt a little bit stilted and awkward and some stuff near the beginning could have been expanded on, such as Tarrant adapting to his new surroundings.
The twist that you gave came out of nowhere and I was a little bit skeptical to the idea at first but reading along more and more, the idea does come to mesh well with the rest of the story.
I know that OCs can be very hard to make and sometimes they can turn out to be Mary Sues or Gary Stus but I really came to love love them, especially Johanna and her wanting to be one of the guys and her fiery attitude. Given the time that they were in the story they were fairly decent. I might suggest working on a little bit of character development and really getting to understand them and their motives.
I mentioned this above somewhere but one of the things that could use major improvement is the story telling, more so at the beginning. Show us what happens, don't tell because the scenes go by so fast that it's sort of hard to see them develop and have us become engaged with some of the scenes. For example, at the beginning when Tarrant first has breakfast with them, show some of the events that happen with him trying to be a gentleman. Maybe he has a few slip ups? That would be interesting to see, and then a little bit later we see him as he eventually becomes accustomed to his new environment. Kind of like a "My Fair Lady" story? XD
And then there are a lot of spelling errors but I think that you mentioned this earlier, may I suggest running it through Microsoft Word and then checking it for any spelling or grammatical errors. And there are time when the whole story is in bold or underlined or something like that, so keep in mind when to cut off the certain HTML format/code; it makes it much easier on the eyes.
Sorry this got to be a little too long, but I feel like I had to put in my two cents to the story. For the most part it's really good and you have a lot of potential and it shows. Keep up the good work, I can't wait to read the next part to this!
| Mrs.GlennQuinn16 chapter 21 . 9/20/2011
Loved this! Can't wait to read more! Keep up the good work!
| James Birdsong chapter 21 . 9/18/2011
Excellent two chapters
| James Birdsong chapter 19 . 9/15/2011
Fantastic four chapters except for chapter eighteen being in bold.
| PaleAsRoses chapter 18 . 9/13/2011
I love how you are writing this especially the last part with Johanna being insulted. Its funny. So far this is the best story for A n W. I encourage u to update this story. I think tbe next chapter should be about them runnuning into the queen and somehow manage to injure her.
| CupofTeaforAliceandHatter chapter 18 . 9/12/2011
I'm more than happy to tell you, I'm still interested in reading this story.
| Molly1002 chapter 17 . 8/27/2011
FFFFUUUUU! they were caught! :( and good evening to you too! Lol.
| onecelestialbeing chapter 16 . 8/6/2011
You've got to keep going with this! *throws blue glittery tea cup at your computer screen*
| fairfarrenlovelylydia chapter 16 . 7/1/2011
Ahhhh I totally read this and forgot to go back and review (Darn needing to go places!)
I loved this chapter! I love the interaction with Alick and Tarrant. They obviously understand how the other works which is really nice to see :)
And the five glints of the knife plan I totally love. It makes a lot of sense. Now I just hope there's moonlight to pull it off :)
I hope that they are able to spring the girls! Go Alick go!
Lovely chapter, Chey.
I look forward to see what you have for these young heroes.
| PaleAsRoses chapter 15 . 6/23/2011
That was AWESOME! update soon.
| James Birdsong chapter 15 . 6/21/2011
Good fifteen chapters
| fairfarrenlovelylydia chapter 15 . 6/20/2011
Dawww you supported my Challenges forum! Thanks Chey! Your story has actually given me some ideas for challenges...I think you may want to try your hand at a couple if you are stuck with Writer's Block again.
I liked this chapter. I can't wait for Alick to help Alice out.
And smart idea of making Alice the Queen of Blue. It seems to be a color she sports a lot isn't it ;D
I can't wait to read what happens! Ahhhhh!
I hope Alick and Alice can make an escape to find their loves 3
And don't worry about what people think of your OCs. If you want/need them in YOUR stories put them in their. You're going to find lovers and haters, people who want more and people who say they are self inserts. They are intriguing and well developed characters and you've never once used them excessively. Do what your Writer Heart tells you not what the reviewers do!
I can't wait for your next chapter! I am on edge! And all caught up (finally!)
| fairfarrenlovelylydia chapter 14 . 6/20/2011
Again it was hard to follow with all the underling and such but hey I was able to!
I loved that you explained why Alice was the Champion since we never really did get an explanation in the movie...it would make sense if her father was an Underlandian Royal however.
And I now realize that JGH is Johnna! It makes sense!
And Iracebeth using voodoo dolls...why does this bring Stardust to mind?
I am confused about one thing. Are Iracebeth and Alice in the West or are they in Underland?
| fairfarrenlovelylydia chapter 13 . 6/20/2011
Tad bit confused. I don't know who JGH is...unless I must be patient! and also be careful...when you made your Author's Note you bolded everything including your writing.
But good storyline so far. Sixteen days Tarrant RUN RUN RUN