|Reviews for Burning Blue|
| Shiroyuki76 chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
interesting.. I must say you write the shooting scenes very well, especially the Dark Moon one. you writing style is a little different, compared to other writers.. Although it's from an author POV, just like many authors did, the way you write felt like you are actually telling a tale.. with a little comments of your own.. nothing wrong with that, it's just unique in its own way.
As for any mistakes..I don't see much grammars errors, nothing bad that could caused any misunderstanding of the sentences.
I just want to point out that Hikaru never address Kyoko with "Mogami-san", he actually called her "Kyoko-chan".. plus "Kyoko" is her stage name, she doesn't use her full name in this showbiz. Only a few people know her real last name, and only few of them actually called her with her last name.. Ren is one (because he's overly gentleman and polite, and he called most people by their last names (either it's their real last names that he knows, or just their stage last names if that's what they are known as), I think it's also his way of putting people at arms length as not to get too familiar with them, so no attachments).. another is Lori who addressed Kyoko with Mogami-kun.. then Sawara-san called Kyoko "Mogami-san", and probably other managers and staffs in LME who knows her last name.. Kanae (Moko-san) usually just called Kyoko with "Hey, you" or if she actually call her, it will be "Kyoko" without honorifics. Yashiro-san called her Kyoko-chan.. So most of her co-stars and directors will be addressing her with her stage name "Kyoko-chan" or "Kyoko-san".
Sorry for the lengthy explanations, I noticed this name addressing issues is a common mistakes among most fanfic writers. I wasn't trying to flame you, just trying to help you so the story would look better and more on characters. -.
| Jhiz chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Nice start... a first chapter just has to grab the interest and the drama sounds interesting so that helps it engage the reader. You also give the narrator a strong voice which adds some appreciated humor. I look forward to more chapters.