|Reviews for The Authors' Assault and Other Stories|
| lupyne chapter 2 . 7/7/2011
Considering that he binges plenty of times (at least, I think so), it makes one wonder just how often he gets depressed. And, seeing as we always assume he actually enjoys eating, this chapter really gives us a new perspective of things.
And there's poetry in your writing, really. I loved that line about the gray monotony humming in tune to the clouds.
| lupyne chapter 2 . 6/18/2011
At first, I didn't understand. Then I realised I'm an idiot, and have been reading "Pichu" as "Pikachu" all along.
Perhaps what I really liked about this piece was how it makes the reader think, and how much the story conveys without stating them explicitly.
The motive was not pointed out, but it can be deduced (and there were hints to it in the beginning). The dying ticks of the clock also seem to symbolise Pikachu's final moments. And finally, the best part: the story makes us question the identity of the Pikachu in Brawl.
For a short piece, it leaves a big impact. That's one of the strong points of this mini-story: to have the reader think about the implications instead of writing it all out.
| Foxpilot chapter 2 . 6/18/2011
Simply because you know somebody has to say it: IT'S A TRAP!
Well, that was unexpected. Tick tock tick tock the surprise will blow off your socks. An interesting, if disturbing theory. I suppose jealousy is a surprisingly satisfying force that can lead to real joy. And nobody need be the wiser.
Only looking back do I see the clever details, the hints dropped that something strange was going on. And here I thought Pikachu was going to test the adage. And the kids would laugh and the...other creatures would laugh and we'd all come out of this with a new respect for clocks. You are not to be underestimated.
Now, I do have to agree that there could have been improvements. The tenses were particularly precarious, often switching between present and past, even mid-sentence. Also, you called Pikachu "Pichu," which is an honest mistake considering the ending.
And here I thought I'd laugh. I was wrong, but so in a worthwhile manner.
| Pikachu127 chapter 2 . 6/18/2011
| Souldin chapter 2 . 6/18/2011
It hasn't been that long since we last spoke but it has been a while since I last saw you utilise your great skills in creating wonderful stories. I was surprised to see an update from you, and for this particular fanfic (the 'other stories' part of the title had escaped my notice until now), but am of course glad to see it.
Your writing is poetic, poetic as always, and rather fitting when the previous story in this collection is a poem. It's set out with a tone that alludes to something dark and sinister but never enough to have the reader expect such a thing to happen. So after witty quips and charming travels, the sudden death that occurs managed to take me by surprise. In fact it all had a phantom feeling to it, the death is never said to be as such and only descriptions of the silence, the blood, and the broken clock, indicate to their being a death. Though I feel assured that a death just occurred I can't help but feel the atmosphere of mystery this short possess.
Criticism is due however, and it is true, that while this is up to a creative standard, it is not up to your regular standard of skill. The perspective is messy, as at times it seems Pikachu is the narrator and at others it is actually a third person point of view. The reason for this is that many of the narrative lines, not indicated as thoughts through italics or speech marks, feel as if they come from Pikachu, and this makes it difficult to keep ones place while reading as they have to adjust to what perspective the story actually follows. The odd line or two sound off and I'm pretty sure 'fr'instance' is not a word.
Never the less it was an enjoyable short. You have written better, but this still is of good quality, and managed to catch me by surprise. It’s witty, creative, descriptive and dark, that is what this one-shot is. Great job, keep up the good work!
| Silas Goodwill chapter 1 . 12/23/2010
Hilarious. Face breakingly hilarious.
| Pikachu127 chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
Remind me to check on your work more often. I loved this.
| The Flying Lion chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
"And the Brawlers took back their place."
| Souldin chapter 1 . 10/28/2010
Considering I'm often the one to deliver large and bulked up reviews I fell rather threatened looking at everyone elses reviews for this fic. Anyway, first off, I hated poetry. I still scorn poetry to some extent, particullarly when it tries to tell a story. Ironically I've written fifty whole A4 pages of poetry but thats because in recent times (Last year, around June) I've discovered, that while an inferior literate form to prose, it does serve some fairly good purposes, such as an expression of emotion and personal struggle often narrating that through abstract events or even a storytellig manner but with that reason still contact.
The term 'poetic' when related to prose is often used and I believe I have done so once to describe your fanfics and this is naturally poetic (does help its a poem). The style is more goofy than the sort you show but rolls off the toungue in a manner familiar to your writing and paces itself well. Oddly enough this fic abandons your ususal subtle comedy for a more blatant one, and moments of sarcasm and irony help deliver barrels of laughter. The story is sweet and outrageous at once, yet for a fanfic writer its a real treat. Furthermore, Master Hands breaking of the poetic form when he did battle and earned the upperhand was fantastic but I do wish it carried over to when Sakurai also defeated the authors.
Other than the previous comment improvements to be made include adding the odd subtle humor that was sorely missed and though many could say it was long enough poems flow rapidly and end rather quick. Also deeper conections could have been made to the smash bros fanfiction by relating recent weird pairings or recent plot clichés that are used to the poem.
Concerning style though your poetic form is spot on and sings like a melody. The voice attempts a serious tone but you can hear the whisp of a light hearted chuckle, like the narrators for christmas stories. Humor was evident and the general nature of the authors was spot on, and altogther was an enjoyable fic. A great concern with parody though is attempting to make it memorable but as I quote 'Down from above descends – him! – Sakurai!'. This fanfic/poem is going to be remembered. Great job, keep up the good work!
| Stolloss chapter 1 . 10/19/2010
Is it odd that, despite living in another fandom, I recognized every single move that the authors made? Well, not specific pairings, but overall.
It was funny, until I developed a paranoia that this was your "the fandom is so messed up I'm leaving" story. It didn't seem at all likely given your personality, and the ending and your final note completely cleared that up, so I went back and enjoyed it a second time. It appears I am alone in this delusion, so...
I enjoyed it, and while I'm not sure if the change in the narrative is breaking the fourth wall or not, I liked that too. Even if it is, it was better than most attempts I've seen, since it had a purpose other than "hey look, I'm breaking the fourth wall! Aren't I funny?"
Hmm, concrit. I don't have much, or anything, to say that has not already been offered. As lupyne said, the story kept its rhythm flowing underneath the prose, with a few lines feeling like they were originally written as part of the surrounding poem, before returning to the original form. For some reason, the phrase "giant lasers" is always the breaking point for me. It feels like the poem part was literally hit by Master Hand, with the sections prior showing it shattering into thousands of shiny pieces, and that phrase is the signal to move on, that it has changed. It's like that every time I've read through, and I can't figure out why. Oh, I'm getting deja vu from Cheers now.
I find it quite ironic that you used most of the devices you are poking fun at, besides romance. That would be the meaning of parody, though, wouldn't it?
| lupyne chapter 1 . 10/19/2010
Rhyming poetry is a tricky thing to pull off, since there are usually few words that can be paired together seamlessly. I think you did it very well, but I notice you broke the rhyme scheme a couple of times - I'm not sure if it's to create a particular effect or not though; I'm really not too knowledgeable regarding poetry.
And yes, I do believe sarcasm and humour are some of your strong points in writing, and it's come together nicely in this piece too. It certainly does address some things we see in the SSB fanfic community (though, of course, it's quite similar in many other communities as well), and you've spun them together so that it flows very well.
I especially like where it broke off into prose, only for it to revert back as though the interruption never happened. I actually felt that the prose section had a sort of rhythm to it as well.
All in all, it was a very fun read. And on a completely unrelated note, I like your new line breaks.
| Foxpilot chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
I don't know whether to be mildly insulted or just look at this and say "Glad I'm not that crazy." Either way, though, I am amused.
Not even the great Master Hand is enough to stop an Author...as we all know. It takes the great, mighty, and utterly divine Sakurai to send the fans running. But they'll be back. We all know they will.
Not a big fan of poetry in general, simply because most of it either blows over my head or is extremely cheesy. Admittedly, this leans towards the "cheesy" side, especially the opening. Nonetheless, this was certainly an interesting piece that deserves its place in the archives. But perhaps poetry isn't your strongest suit.
However, parody and wry sarcasm are certainly strong traits of yours, which show through rather well. The idea that the Authors' weakness is Reality is played rather well, not stressed enough to be obnoxious but still appropriately there. I'd say there are people who could learn a thing or two from this fic. Of course, they'd have to read it.
| Shadow R-B chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Holy geez man, that was awesome! :P
I was finding myself thinking the whole time reading it, "How come that guy who narrates How the Grinch Stole Christmas fits in so well here?"
Thought you were starting out early-really early-pm your Christmas fanfic before I kept going.
Mewtwo/Lucario, I've seen some of those fics before. One in particular is quite interesting. Not gonna send a link tho; it's yaoi, and not a soft lime either. (sad, it was quite touching :( )
Dun wanna scare ya for life lawl. (insert awesome face here lol)
See, imma favour this fic now, you're that awesome Benjy. Tho I'm not in the explaining mood today as to why. Rather, the explanations are rather weak today. So's my spelling. (glares at the explainations word) Not spelled right? I forgot... (wilt)
Hope that vid I sent you gives inspiration to you. You could do a good fic on something that twisted. _
That sounded oddly mean for some reason... Not meant to be mean, just sounds...odd. 0T
Hope your work got easier... _