|Reviews for Three Stories|
| Gateman chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
They bought lunch off a vendor, a meal that consisted entirely of fired things on sticks, and proceeded to wander the area, and doing all the stereotypical things, ranging from Makoto failing to knock down the stacked bottles with a baseball, and Touma succeeding, to trying on a variety of pointless masks, to goldfish scooping.
I think you meant 'fried things'
The carnival games were rather nostalgic.
Overall, while these 3 stories aren't all happy, they're all quite lighthearted. The second is rather original flavor as well. The third is a great bridge from Advice to Patterns of Love.
My favorite thing about your writing is the reactions the characters have to each other. A lesser writer would follow genre conventions and have them overreact to things like the accident in the third chapter. Chiaki acts like a normal person.
| MaDeR Levap chapter 3 . 3/15/2013
Those short stories are really well thought of and weaves nicely with rest of work. It is crazy how much drama could be released from simple story about three sisters.
| Esprit D'escalier chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
Poor Makoto. He has to climb in through a window, while in a Kimono? That just sounds like it'd be rather cruel.
| wingsofseyfert12 chapter 3 . 4/28/2011
The characterization was spot on in this story. Each character slowly matured as they faced many common problems that growing kids face nowadays. I could say that Makoto was a bit too solemn in this story but then again, you did a good job creating the correct circumstances to account for his behavior.
Uchida angry and peeved is something I can never take seriously. She would look too cute doing so :)
I LOVE the way you wrote Kana in this story. While normally portrayed as some scatterbrained girl, she has shown that she is quite capable of thinking on the fly and sorting out sticky situations (as she has done in the show.) I liked that you did not write her off as a total idiot and that she had managed to "trick" Chiaki into giving some chocolate for Makoto.
Speaking of Makoto, I felt no closure as far as his part in the story. There was neat angst and soul searching in his part yet no answers have come up. If anything, I was looking forward to Chiaki giving Makoto the chocolate and the interaction between the two afterwards. The fact that you decided to not write out this interaction is a darn shame. While it is your story, omitting that interaction is the only gripe I have for this story. It feels incomplete, at least on Makoto's part.
Overall though, this story did its job providing good insight on the characters without it being too psycho analytical. It was a very enjoyable read from start to finish.
Now I feel like writing a story about Makoto joining Power Lifting in high school or something to compensate for his girlishness in his childhood, lol!
| Pruit Igoe chapter 2 . 11/23/2010
Another exceptional chapter! The duality of Chiaki's view of Mako/Makoto is interesting, I am curious as to how Makoto will resolve his identity crisis and still maintain her trust. Obviously it is not earned easily.
Thanks for sharing!