Reviews for Forever Darkness
nuyen236 chapter 1 . 8/6/2016
omg, this story is great
alchemyfreak42 chapter 1 . 5/5/2014
This is a really good story; it's very intense. however, it moves too fast. Slash broke Ed too fast; E has more endurance than that. It would make more sense if it had taken a few weeks, not just a couple hours. I've noticed that in a lot of your stories, Ed isn't nearly as strong as he is in the manga and tv shows. You write really well, I just think that Ed is a bit OOC in some of your stories.
3DPhantom chapter 1 . 3/2/2014
So he's afraid of the dark now. A normal childish fear that he, of course, only obtained through some horrible experience. Life just isn't right for these two. Poor kids.

loved the story... It was very good.
iggle07 chapter 1 . 8/8/2013
slightly ooc for Ed to be so calm. I also don't think the mental trauma would really become Ed's way of thinking unless he was tortured for several days. This seemed like it was only an hour or so at most. Also your torture techniques could use some fine tuning. Making Ed more resistant and having him fighting more would have added depth to the scene.
AllenxEdward chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
That experience would freak me out too. Poor Ed.
Cartoon Cow chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
I thought this was a great story except the naked thing creeped me out a bit ( though there are a lot of crazies out there ) and I. Don't think the mental unstableness would be a part of eds recovery. But yes he would cry :)

Going on my favs list :D
The Curse of Forever chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
You did such a good job - Torture scenes are your forte. I love parental Roy/Ed.
Radon65 chapter 1 . 2/26/2011
That was interesting, and well written for the most part. There are some plot holes, though - I'm confused as to why the guy cared about calling up Mustang, and Mustang said that he had a cell phone - that's an anachronism (and if it was a cell phone, that would be harder to track. Also, when the guy grabbed Ed, I don't think he would have been able to grab both of Ed's arms with one hand unless Ed already had his arms conveniently right next to each other - I think it would have made more sense if he'd just stabbed Ed with the hypo right away. Very creepy killer guy, though - it was kind of funny - in a twisted way - when Hawkeye just killed him...
LUCKY STAR CHAMP chapter 1 . 2/17/2011
the first thing i would like to say is that THIS STORY IS AMAZING WRITE MORE. the second is if you dont remember it was raining and ed has auto mail and when it rains his auto mail starts to hurt. if you remember the ep when he dug up his moms grave with pinako in brotherhood yeah he started to throw up. so if he strained himself with the serial killer he might have just ended up throwing up in his hands or passing out. plus he might have thought that he could deal with the serial killer when he got to the place where slash took him.
emoly01 chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
That was very entertaining to read, I must say. But I have a few comments. One: Ed was somewhat out of character. He wouldn't scream for help unless absolutely necessary, and he would have been a lot more defiant while being tortured, and he definitely wouldn't beg for it to stop. Two: (this is more of a question) why did Slash want to kill Ed? If he was just crazy, he could have killed anyone. Besides, it seemed kind of personal because he wanted Roy to watch Ed die. A little explanation would be nice. I had a third thing to say, but I can't remember.

I just want to add (because I'm sensitive to criticism) that this isn't supposed to be condescending; I only wish to help improve the story.

Also, my impression of Ed could be completely different from yours, so out of character[ness] is almost impossible to avoid completely :)

Other than that, you did a wonderful job. I particularly like that you talk about every day life in the beginning to give us a feel for their background.
Skylan chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
It was really good and I liked it, but I do have one little problem. I figured when the guy attacked Ed, he would have fought back a little more instead of screaming for help, ya know?
HappiestUnderClouds chapter 1 . 11/29/2010
Woah. Well that was...gruesome XD I like it!

I can see how a7x can help inspire that. Especially 'nightmare' or something.

I thought the slash guy was gonna rape him or something..or maybe he did and I read over it? Eh.

Edo's going mad! I'm gonna get that guy for hurting him! -shoves slash into a hole- -throws in gas and a lit match- pretty fire... XD

Anyway, awesome story!
Edward's Alter Ego chapter 1 . 11/3/2010
Wow, this story is so creepy but amazing at the same time! O_O I don't know why I like Ed torture stories... Ed's my favorite character and every time I read these type of stories, I grab my Ed plushie and go "Noooo Edo!" T.T But still, awesome Halloween story :D Poor Ed...
silvers-edge chapter 1 . 11/3/2010
How has only one person reviewed this yet? This is an awesome halloween story and very well written and believeable. Much props
Lazy Gaga chapter 1 . 10/19/2010
freakin creepy! yet oh so interesing! i cant wait to see wha story you'll come up with next!