|Reviews for Vague Summaries & FanFiction Cliches|
| chocaholic123 chapter 1 . 8/22/2013
OMG this story is like, so totes amazing. plz update soon
| Sam chapter 2 . 7/26/2013
"I have loads of money!" ... "tousled bronze hair" ... "Pixie" ... Unreasonably insecure Bella, shallow and annoying Alice, southern Jasper, bitchy Rose ... "He's an asshole but I can change him!" ... Constantly changing POVs and random third person ... and lets not forget the sparks and love at first sight ... It's all too true.
The BDSM inaccuracies are probably the worst though. I've never been involved in that community, but I've seen many groups speak out against the fallacies and misconceptions in a certain well known published BDSM story based on a fanfic...cough cough. It gives so many people the wrong idea about an already misunderstood lifestyle.
The only problem with your fic is that now I'm going to see these cliches in everything I read, and it's not like I can call out the "BNAs" out there.
| Sam chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
Ugh "orbs" and "it's huge!" Those are the worst. The strangely prophetic dream...I've seen that too many times. She has the perfect body and she's a virgin who then proceeds to have hours of amazing sex with a badass/super sweet Edward. And these are all things in the more popular fics - I know I couldn't tolerate A/Ns in the middle of the story. Unexceptable!
| GeezerWench chapter 4 . 4/16/2013
"tears of pure, semen joy."
-Pussy so loose that sex with her is often described as "throwing a hotdog down a hallway"
You forgot one. The kidnap cliche. Chicks dig the kidnap/capture cliche.
Hell! Used it myself. I like it!
Good job, Hon!1!1!
| GeezerWench chapter 3 . 4/16/2013
"battling for dominance as though they were having a wet, sloppy, sword fight…."
JacobLuke, JessicaLeia, EdwardHan
I LOVE pop culture references!
| GeezerWench chapter 2 . 4/16/2013
Well, I don't know anything about BDSM ...
Sometimes, I like mentions of songs in fics. I've discovered *some* music I liked that way. I even like when a few lines of a song are used to open a chapter. It can set the mood. Some writers use parts of lyrics skillfully. But the way you've inserted them in here? Oh boy, *groan*
Still waiting for SUPER BELLA.
| GeezerWench chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
Saw this tweeted about over on Twitter.
Favorite cliche - WIFE BEATING, CHILD MOLESTING, RAPIST & CRIMINAL Jacob.
Of course, one of my favorite stories has that in it! The rapist part, anyhow.
Poorly researched - I grok it. These days, with the Internet, even a little searching helps a story seem more "real."
shuttered - LOL
vitrol - LOL
"Im only gonna update if I get 250 reviews"
I find that to be annoying.
I need to add a few more of the cliches I enjoy to my story. Already using some of them.
So far, Hon, I've enjoyed this. I think you got most of the cliches, except for the SUPER BELLA who can do friggin' anything -— hit a rock and make water flow in the desert; but also, with a mere wave of her hand, part the seas (that she created); call down flaming brimstone from the sky; clap her hands and tornadoes appear to sweep the bad dudes away ...
But maybe that's in the next chapter.
| MagTwi78 chapter 1 . 1/31/2013
Laughing so hard right now
| Webby955 chapter 4 . 7/30/2012
"Throwing a hotdog down a hallway"-best comparison ever, apt and hilarious. Well done, with that and the whole fic.
| Fangscape chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
Thank you for this! My biggest pet peeve is how people confuse loose and lose. Oh and one more, do people not know that I lead a horse to water but I led him yesterday. Lead, led, loose, lose, accept, except. Cullens Cullen's...do they not teach basic language skills anymore?
| Beautiful Blood Red Roses chapter 3 . 5/27/2012
Couldn't stop laughing. Thank you. :)
| Beautiful Blood Red Roses chapter 2 . 5/27/2012
Wow. OMG wow. I think this is the best fanfic I've ever read...wow. It's so funny! And so genius! :D I love it.
| Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes chapter 4 . 3/29/2012
LOL Everything about this story is hilarious. I especially like the Cullen cliches. Thanks for the laugh.
| wistful-amibitions chapter 4 . 3/20/2012
I am seriously laughing out loud right now. This was too funny annndd you're awesome :)
| Alterite chapter 4 . 2/3/2012
I had a blast reading your parody. Thank you for making me laugh multiple times while reading!
Love from France,