|Reviews for The Lion Terminator|
| Redjar chapter 1 . 5/11/2012
| Bearybeary chapter 3 . 4/17/2011
This story is getting really intesting write more.
| Kurt Wylde 42 chapter 3 . 2/4/2011
okay, you did add the terminator at the end. Good job. But it's still too scriptive. I feel like I'm reading the script of the movie, with the exception of the end. Be creative and add your own lines to the story. Also, you need to be less present tense with your wording and more past tense.
| Solo Wing Pixy 1 chapter 3 . 2/2/2011
very good chapter
| Solo Wing Pixy 1 chapter 2 . 1/28/2011
this is good
| Zack chapter 1 . 11/3/2010
Awesome i lve the termanitor movies and im 10 years old and i love the lion kiing and others like the poseidon adventure. think you can do a cross over between the lion king and the poseidon adventure?
| Kurt Wylde 42 chapter 2 . 10/29/2010
Okay, here's my take on the story. The storyline itself is good. I like where it's heading. However, there are a lot of grammar mistakes. Not mispelled words, just words that sound the same, but don't match up with the statement.
For example, the part where the terminator meets the hyenas. The one stated "with are friend, Scar." The substitution you are looking for is "with our friend, Scar." That's something spellcheck doesn't pick up. You have to read through it yourself to find those mistakes.
The Bad to the Bone segment, that's a given. There's no need to say that. I would think of that in my head by myself. Also, try to shorten the two Terminator titles. I could help you out with that, if you want
Lastly, I'd like to point out the actions in the story. They seem too present action-like. (i.e. he nudges the sunglasses to the Lion Terminator. Change it to "he nudged".
Again, don't get too down on this. I'm just trying to help you out. If you'd like, I could be your beta reader to proof-read your chapter before it goes out.
| THeCooLeST chapter 1 . 10/21/2010