|Reviews for Mind Games|
| Mona chapter 1 . 2/10
Please continue this. I actually beg of you this is beyond fucking hot and incredibly well-written. You capture these two unlike anyone else I've read on here. I've read all of your Amanda/Hoffman stories and they're all magnificent. This one, is my favorite. It clearly displays mark's need for dominance and Amanda's helplessness and imprisonment in her own toxic emotions. Wonderful wonderful work. I realize this is an old story but damn, I really want to see what's to happen after this. What becomes of the two of them?
| Cherish chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
What way f*cking HOT!
| Neko C chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
Oh, dear God, this fic is soooooooo good. Yes, I know it's old, but just I had to send you a review. Amanda/Hoffman rlz and this is how I imagine that would be their relationship.
Umm, I realy, realy want to ask you something: Can I translate this fanfic to the Spanish? I will put you all the credits, I promise. We don't have any fic in the Spanish about this pairing (I'm traing to do one.. but I realy suck in this... and delete and write everything againg and againg, 'cause anything convinces me) and this story... just I loved it, realy do.
Whatever, Can I translade, please? I realy will appreciate your answer.
This story is the firts english fanfic that I putted in my favorites. You did a great job with this.
Mmmm, I will waithing for your answer.
A big hug from Argentina!
P.D.: I sorry for the gramatics/orthographics mistakes, as you see... the english isn't my mother lenguage.
| vampbait16 chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
D: . . . . . . *sputter sputter choke*
| theGuroLOLITA chapter 1 . 1/10/2011
THIS IS JUST PERRRRRRFECT! the BEST story i have ever read! perfectly captured the feeling between Hoffman and Amanda! hot, twisted, artistic and delicious!
| DarkBl00d chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
Oh wow, that was amazing x3
| Jacalyn Hyde chapter 1 . 12/1/2010
Damn that connection timeout! But I'm certainly not going to punish YOU for it. I promised you praise and constructive criticism and I feel you are more than entitled to them. I remember most of what I said on my first attempt reviewing but this is not going to be the same review. It's my fifth time reading this piece now and I pick up on something different each time (in a good way).
I do have to tell you this: summaries are meant to grab a reader's attention and you certainly got mine (as well as a raised eyebrow and a slight grin) "He got off on screaming. She got off on pain. An insight into the complex relationship between Mark Hoffman and Amanda Young." I spent a bit too much time glaring at the word "relationship." I shouldn't have. Because, for the lack of a better word, that's what it is. Even enemies have relationships, any people who interact at all do. So it's not the word I'm stuck on, but the definition. With your interpretation(s) of Hoffman/Amanda and my own, as well as the canon evidence: I'm still struggling to define what KIND of relationship it really is. That's half the fun of it, though. And they have a fair enough trade here: he just has to MAKE her scream. No problem.
I've never imagined really Amanda as a masochist or even a sadist. She has a slight streak of both and the contrast is astounding. Especially when you blur the lines: if it's willing submission or simply because she has no other (at least no preferable) option. Her self-harm comes from desperation and a need for escape. What she does for Hoffman and what she (somewhat enthusiastically) lets him do to her are a combination of several things: emotion, adrenalin, perhaps even some genuine passion.
... but that's not all of it: it can't be that simple and that is the brilliance I condone you for. The "victim" in Amanda is more conflicted than hurt. The mental issue- the uncertainty of what she really feels or wants -hurts more than the physical scars. The "monster" in Mark is born in some very real brutality, but also frustration, a struggle for power- CONTROL -and what I really think is a genuine desire to test Amanda, to hurt her, and push her boundaries. They're both fairly screwed up but it works here, it really does.
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I really can't help comparing this piece just a little to Chapters 1, 6, and 8 of "The Possibility of Sanity" (another piece of yours I intend to analyze -and PRAISE- in detail.) There are some parallels- verbal sparring, discomfort, mixed feelings, hints at regret as well as possible longing for more, and the sheer rawness of the sex- they don't play around. In this, and every other aspect of life: they take what they need from the other and deal with the consequences somehow, maybe it's worth it.
Another thing I meant to ask: does "First" imply that there will be MORE to this piece? A followup chapter or another circumstance entirely? Or does it merely hint that this is the FIRST time they've crossed that line?
And your opening point- "WHY?" was attention-grabbing and powerful. Presenting Amanda's view on the question itself rather than an answer to it was also a good idea. I would have liked to see you return to that thought toward the ending... But, believe me, it is fine just the way it is. I feel you've presented another unanswerable question entirely: moving from "WHY?" to "WHAT NOW?"
"She dreamed in shades of blue..." I really like the idea of Amanda dreaming in shades of black and blue, but it might have been nice to include a brief example of what her dreams are typically ABOUT. Paralleling that psychogenic color-scheme to the bruises on her body was a nice touch, but it seems like a random point otherwise. It's poetic and deep, but just a little out of place.
Amanda standing naked before the mirror is something I could actually see happening. Surveying the damage, touching herself and mentally replaying the experience could be an attempt at comfort, closure, and a way of reliving it. Feeling that agony again because there is a dominant piece of her she won't (can't) deny that wants it.
"When a man like him lost control, you could see everything in his eyes. Rage. Hate. Lust. Misery. Pain." -I wish I could explain WHY, but this is my favorite line of the whole piece. It's TRUE, for one thing. The hands take action, but the eyes say everything: motivation and reaction above all else. It says a lot that she doesn't want to look at him- his eyes or anything else -it might be because she KNOWS him. He's not a random assailant. She has to LIVE with this, with him, work with him, and deal with it somehow.
It's so cold in the warehouse and "She wanted fire-" is the point that brings her back to the argument, to where it all began. The furnace trap could be an indirect parallel to tempers flaring. That said, I actually really like the fight. Although I do have an easier time seeing Amanda say Hoffman is doing something wrong, it works the other way here: he challenges her on her own design and construction. He started it!
The tension between them is not just sexual- there's some very definite HATE going on here. Hoffman is not just patronizing her, he's picking a fight- hoping to push her, hurt her. I do think that comes from a need to CONTROL something. He's here because he has no other choice and the other accomplice is another issue he resents and can't do anything about. He can't make her go away just yet, anyway. And Amanda- you've got her just perfect here: what she feels and what she says about John, his purpose and her own. It's spot-on and it makes perfect sense that THAT would set her off.
And I do see them this way: the verbal sparring, insults, hate, then silence. No friendliness here, there's barely room for civility- occasional peace.
"...people change when they're about to die." Not sure why I'm telling you this, but I'm nodding in agreement... But THIS: "People die when they're trying to help someone they care about." ... it is true but it also seems to come from virtually no where. Obi's test has nothing to do with helping others (minus the second antidote to donate). It brings you to your next point so I do understand and forgive the randomness. I have the impression she only said that to say SOMETHING or because she's subconsciously thinking about... what? John, maybe, and wanting to help him? Or what he did to help her?
"When it comes to survival, people prefer to see someone else die than themselves…you'd know that, wouldn't you?" -Yes, THIS next point. I wish I could jump through the screen and PUNCH him, so I'm glad Amanda tried to. And I hate more than anything else that he's actually RIGHT for the most part. When it comes down to kill or be killed there are very few exceptions.
The following struggle was great. Hoffman lets her fight but holds on to his physical superiority. Then she bit him and he kissed her! If you had presented only this scene: I would not have seen that coming! Nice, very nice.
Your cutting back and forth between what happened and Amanda's current fantasy was very well done. I was disoriented only briefly. You tied each clip very well, never saying too much or too little. The CONTRAST is what really gets me, though. That Amanda relives the memory of what might have been a rape (if she hadn't wanted it, somehow) and alternatively imagining a very different Hoffman actually pleasuring her and finding an eerily similar satisfaction in both thoughts, it allows Amanda her very own deluded sense of control.
"His eyes burned into her mind's eye, his eyes…" -I'm not sure if you did that on purpose on not, but you said SO MUCH with that one line. Primarily the point that she CAN meet his eyes in this fantasy of hers. That they say something entirely different, but equally intense here than they would if she'd looked into them when he lost control with her.
"You wanted this, didn't you?" -He says this more than once so I do think it's worth mentioning. It's entirely possible that some part of her DID want it, not any more or less than he did. I don't think it really OCCURRED to either of them before, though.
He needs her to scream, he needs her hurt, desperate, more than a little afraid, and bending to his will. And she needs that insane, intense combination of pain and pleasure that few can comprehend. In that sense, they fit together so well.
"...bastard had made her bleed…but worst of all, he'd made her like it." -Sad but true. Poor 'Manda. "...she realized exactly how much she'd succumbed to him. He'd made her do this, made her want more; she craved him like she'd craved the needle and the knife from her former life." CRAVING, yeah, that is the right word for it. I want Hoffman to SEE what he's done to her- the psychological effects as well as the scars. And I want Amanda to realize he did this TOO. It's nearly the exact opposite of her situation, but his brutality, that act, that impulse resulted from a sense of desperation so similar to her own.
Amanda's confliction in the final lines was also well done. She'd let him do it again, she's BEG him to... NO, she wouldn't... or... would she? Exactly. I understand that entirely too well.
Punching pillows rarely proves helpful but the attempt does emphasize the "what else can I do?" point quite nicely. I could see her doing that too.
He haunts her and she's torturing herself even more trying to hold on and trying to escape his hold at the same time.
"His eyes pierced what little soul she had left." And this: "...her own treacherous mind and Mark Hoffman's burning eyes." -Two more of my favorite lines here and excellent points as well. His EYES again. It was a little understated, but the theme makes a powerful statement in its own right. Eyes see everything, they SAY everything.
Forty-seven minutes and 99,083 words, Kalika. That's time well spent in my book (I know I'm weird). E
| AgnesDei chapter 1 . 11/29/2010
I'd be lying if I said this piece hadn't added fuel to a few personal mental fires. Bravo. BRAVO!
| RAWRitsAnime chapter 1 . 11/14/2010
I really like this fanfic. It would be awesome if you would continue it.
| aw6 chapter 1 . 11/8/2010
This is a really good fic! You managed to capture both characters really well, and it made the relationship realistic. I hadn't thought of this ship before, but I'm definetly interested now! :P
| Shi-P-Dream chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
oh! I really liked the fic! I really believe this would be (painfully) Hoffman's relationship with Amanda ... although I would like you to do POV of Hoffman. It is not fair that only the suffering is Amanda! .
| DarkPhoenix567 chapter 1 . 10/21/2010
that was hot you in the twisted way
| SawManiac211 chapter 1 . 10/21/2010