Reviews for Offfield Motivation
Guest chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
plzzz update the next chapter soon!
Chaseha-Wing chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
I see, u sis an RP style (role play). Its weird seeing it in an actual story mode style, but its ok. Will u continue doing this, or will u switch so the themes are put into sections like usual?
blackpandajj chapter 1 . 4/3/2011
Abe! Nuuuu! You dummy! Erg...

Can't wait to see what happens next! Keep writing! w
Chicory21 chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
I love it please keep going!
DreamALltHopeALlt chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
Oooh, I'm so interested in what'll happen next! Tajima x Hanai are my OTP (currently) and I can't wait to see what you have in store for them when they practice as a battery :'D Please update soon!
CirceNoir chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
This is really good!

Oh no! Abe!

*I need the next chapter!*

great writing. The last paragraph seemed to rush things, but I liked it anyway!
Pluma Desatada chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
Oh, I can tell it's been written by two people alright because the scenes mingle.

Please don't do that. Even if you write it that way, please, before posting it, order it so that it makes sense. I ended up reading the odd paragraphs, then the even so i could make sense of it.

One month from now, when you read this again, you'll see that, as it is formatted, it makes it seem like all four guys are in the same room having two separate conversations. Like Tajima and Hanai are _ignoring_ Mihashi and Abe's moment.

If you read only the dialogue, you'll see what i mean.

Other than that: you guys have a good grasp on the character, which is more than I can claim. I think Abe's and Mihashi's conversation was a bit too fluid for them, but that may be because the fic reads choppily and I can't concentrate on the mood of the scene.

Also: try not to use elisions (the "...") in prose. They are more fit for dialogue and thoughts, not for the actions.

Sorry if i come accross as flamer. Please know I'm not trying to insult you. If I sound cranky it's because of PMS and the whole 5-in-the-morning thing. _