|Reviews for Precipice|
| StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
I love that first line. I like it because it's quick and draws you in. It also puts questions in the reader's mind- what is this precipice? It's very enticing. :)
Haha, it's funny that Remus doesn't seem bothered about his history class, since he's too busy thinking about her. It's quite sweet, actually. :)
Lily seems quite feisty here, or maybe she just wants the best from Remus and his work. Still, he doesn't seem at all bothered- he's too busy focusing on her beauty. :P
The way that Lily refers to James as Potter makes me feel as if she's bitter towards him for some reason...
Ah, so that's the precipice- love! That's so sweet! It's great that we only find out in the end what that precipice is. This was lovely. :)
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Here's the parts I found very effective. :)
. (Lily's sharp features turn soft ) I really like how this shows Lily's anger melting into concern here. :)
. (or whatever it is they're suppose to be studying for History of Magic ) This part flows very quickly, as if he's just not bothered or not concentrating.
. (he snatches Lily's hand in his, and the sparks between them are so strong that when she gasps and looks up at him with those indescribable green eyes, he knows she's felt them too.) I found this sentence so beautifully worded. :)
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This is lovely! Keep up the good work. :D
| ballofstring66 chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
A well balanced piece, nicely topped and tailed. You bring his uncertainty to life and regret at not having stood up for Snape. An interesting interlude in the books that feels very natural and as if it could have taken place. My own imagination filled in what happened after this scene which shows that your writing drew me in even though its not my fandom.
| Lilly Valens chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
Wow! Very powerful piece that captures the ache of unrequited love so beautifully! I felt so bad for poor Remus; he's right about James. Although James Potter was a stand up guy in a lot of ways, he did have a lot of faults and, unlike his son, had an easy ride in life so many others didn't. Interesting to imagine what might have been if things had worked out this way!
| Ky-lassassin chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
i really like how you confront the whole best friend's girl dilemma thing in this fic - it's very realistic, and you do a good job of showing remus's feelings and capturing his frustration. i also really liked the detail about how sirius and james keep fighting and then peter's off "meeting up with God knows who," showing how they're all growing up and growing apart. and then the end. while i like that he does make some sort of move on her, i feel like snatching and clutching are the wrong words to use? idk they seemed kind of awkward to me, like he's furiously holding her hand except they're just sitting there. but i like how it shows the change in both of them. also i like the repetition of the first line - with, of course, the important change that it's not just him anymore, it's both of them. good job! (:
| ToManyLetters chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
"It's that glorious smile that breaks his heart into a million pieces; it reminds him just why the intelligent, kind redhead in front of him can never be his. " This has got to be my favourite line in the whole oneshot. Though I'm not a Remus/Lily shipper by any stretch of the imagination, I can certainly appreciate a beautifully put-together bit of narration. I don't really know how to describe -what-, exactly, makes it so perfect. It just -works-.
Even so, though, I still felt myself cheering James on, rather than Remus, at the end? Should I feel guilty?
PS. A bit of nitpicking:
- Lily Evans is or Lily Evans's.
- "Officially 'an item'" feels anachronistic within the story, even with merely being part of the narration.
| Seven Perseids chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
I could completely feel Remus's frustration here. And his distraction, and his regret, and - I could go on. I felt like I could hear his voice coming through the narrative. I'm a huge-ish sucker for well-done Remus/Lily and I could definitely see them being this way. Thanks for writing this!
| Madam'zelleGiry chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
This was a really touching character study. Your characterization of Remus was almost perfect; I could see this happening in canon. Thank you so much for sharing! Well done!
| HisDarkMaterialsrox chapter 1 . 10/6/2011
is too lazy to sign in.
Well. This was a powerful, moving piece.
I have nothing left to say other than this is awesome and I hope you write more Remus/Lily :P
| SiriuslyPeeved chapter 1 . 8/6/2011
How did I miss this? I love Remus/Lily and feel like they were much more plausible than James/Lily in the first place. (unless James was a means of getting even with Severus - and I suppose there's the whole werewolf thing - lol.)
This was a powerful little piece, and the touches of humor made it so true to Remus's character. It seems he was always able to laugh at himself until he fell into despair over Tonks and the baby. (Potter has everything, even the bed by the window! That made me chuckle)
I'd love to see what would happen if you went further with this someday!
| Mottsnave chapter 1 . 11/7/2010
This is a great little character study, I like the cracks you show in the Marauders' friendship. It completely makes sense with their characters.
I also love the open end to this story; it makes a neat full circle with the first line, but also fits in with the breathless anticipation of the whole piece.
| Il'Diko chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
I think I could love your Reamus/Lily... :) Nicely done Wendy, I enjoyed it very much. Your Remus (and James!) was spot on.
| EHWIES chapter 1 . 10/24/2010
I said it already when I beta'd, and I'll say it again: I REALLY, REALLY enjoyed this one of yours! I lovelovelove James, so in a way, I really loved seeing Remus's jealousy and how it painted James in such a different light-not resentful, exactly, but pointing out James's flaws in that he /is/ spoiled and /does/ get everything he wants and it's /not/ fair, and that sure can't feel good to Remus when James gets everything that he would have wanted. My Remus isn't quite so bitter/jaded (/unintentional pun), so it was just so interesting to see that characterization of him-because when you see emo!Remus in fanfiction, he's usually emo over the werewolf thing and doesn't think he deserves his friends, so I thought this was a really interesting take on him. Lovely work!
| morg2357 chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
I an in looooooooooove with this. You should make this a full story. I luv LUPIN!
| wandering endlessly chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
Aw thankyou Wendy 3 It was wonderful ) beautifully angsty ( I love angst ) Poor Remus. I love the way it's written, it's descriptive and you picture it really well in your head. I also like how there is other things going on, like you mentioned Peter going off meeting people, and the fight between James and Sirius, it makes it more interesting. Thankyou so much , I &hearts it