|Reviews for Breakdown|
| luvingbtr chapter 19 . 7/10/2012
Okay, this story was AMAZING. I cried when they said good-bye to Carlos, and in the next chapter, when the boys were putting on black suits, I expected Carlos to be dead. The fact that he wasn't was an amazing twist. I love this story. it was heart-breaking, funny at times and just plain amazing.
| californcari chapter 19 . 6/14/2012
I have to say this story was the most longest, most heart wrenching, most bone crushing, amazingly written story I have ever read! While reding this story I was encountered with many different emotions! From laughing, to crying ! It's was spectacularly written and I loved it! Which is something from me, concidering I love about only five stories... I hope to see more work like this written by you in the future! :D
| Guest chapter 19 . 2/28/2012
I was all "OH NO!" and then I was all "Oh yeah!" then I was all "WWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" and then I was all "HOORAY!"
| isabelincoln chapter 19 . 2/20/2012
So, to start off, this story is freaking phenomenal.
Um, anyway, my heart pretty much broke throughout the whole thing. I was having arguments with myself about whether you're going to kill Carlos or not, and about how deep all the fighting is going to go and about, I don't know, the whole plot all together. I was freaking out by the chapter of this title, but you're planning and writing was absolutely flawless.
Seriously, this is a fantastic story. Great work!
| TotallyLosingIt chapter 19 . 1/26/2012
I've been skirting around this fic for ages now because of two reasons: a) It's really long and I knew that if it was going to be worth it (from your summary I could tell it would be) then I had to read it all in one sitting, and b) Carlos is my absolute favorite character and I didn't think I could handle the angst of him being in a coma, despite me being an avid whumper.
So now that I have read it, I can confirm that a) It was definitely worth is, and b) I definitely couldn't handle the angst.
I cried. Like a baby. Blubbered, sputtered, sobbed, bawled, weeped, all that jazz, cried like my heart was shattering into teeny tiny little pieces. It's been a while since a fic has provoked that from me! Coming into this story (that I've been avoiding ever since I read the summary) I knew there would be one of two outcomes. Either he'd die, or he'd survive at the last second as they were about to take him off of life support. Obviously I was leaning towards the latter and I'm glad it turned out the way I was DESPERATELY hoping it was going to turn out. Even better, Carlos the way you wrote him is SO PERFECT I can't even take it. The few scenes he was in- the flashbacks especially- were right on the money. A lot of people make him dumb or ignorant, but that's not it. He's just innocent and you captured that perfectly.
I think the tears started in elevator scene, where Kendall and James were fighting and Logan finally had enough. And then the flashback scene where Logan thought he was moving, because Carlos cried when Logan cried (holy crow, I am a total fangirl for this boy). They picked up again when James hugged Kendall (FINALLY, JEEZ). I was okay throughout the rest of it until Carlos started... I dunno. What first came to mind was he was choking on the ventilator, which meant he was waking up. That's what I thought he was going to do. The next chapter... well, I've played that trick before. I was expecting it. So needless to say I was relieved when it was all better.
And your grammar. Ohhhh thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew that if there were any obvious ones in the first chapter it'd be such a turn-off that it definitely wouldn't be worth trying to sit through it (if it was going to make me cry, which I suspected and confirmed that it did). But what I love about a good story is you get so into it, you don't even notice grammatical mistakes. I'm glad that when things slowed down a little bit and I got a chance to analyze your writing, I didn't find any either.
I'm glad I read it. Gah, so many things to say, not enough room! Kendall was PERFECT in every way. I knew what was up with him even before he admitted it to himself. I could see it from James' point of view, too, although I sided with Kendall more. And Logan... I'm kind of surprised, actually, that he kept it together so well, but at the same time, he was the first to cry and get it over with.
I hated how close they came to losing him. Holy crow I wouldn't have been able to do that. I think I could actually feel my heart ache, like, physically. I can't stand the thought of losing Carlos- and he's a fictional character!
Okay, enough fangirling and rambling and making no sense. I had my reservations about this, but I loved it. Every second of every minute of every hour of it.
| bigtimerushx31 chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
this story inspires me so much honestly. As a writer, this is miraculous work. That someone could write something and TUG on my heartstrings, make me bawl as i read, thats never happeend. so PLEASE. BECOME AN AUTHOR. Do it, you could make it big.
| Discontinued Indefinitely chapter 19 . 11/20/2011
NO! DAMN YOU! He should've died! I saw this coming from a mile away...I knew it wouldn't be his funeral.
Why though? It would've been so much more impactful if he died! Screw death threats! Those people can deal with it! I'm so dissatisfied now...
Anyways, great story up until the end. The penultimate chapter actually made me cry haha...
| Discontinued Indefinitely chapter 15 . 11/20/2011
I've...I've been thinking about how to word this, but I can't. This chapter is stunning. Superb. I'd go as far to say this was a masterpiece, masterful, even farther; this chapter was absolutely perfect.
You've left me speechless. I am shocked. I am amazed. I cannot believe how great this chapter was. The way you tied in the flashbacks, which were written so well, with what Kendall was going through, that was great. But what made this chapter so glorious was the ending. I thought throughout the whole chapter that it was a neat idea to use fllashbacks, but the ending was what tied it all together. You executed it brilliantly, timing it just so it went along with what happened.
This was so simple, yet it was far from simple. It is perfect. I am awestruck. I love this. I am in love with this. I am literally on the verge of tears. You captured the characters perfedtly; you balanced drama, cuteness, depression, and anxiety perfectly. You integrated flashbacks wonderfully. You are an amazing writer. Wow...just wow.
I am literally at a loss of words.
Congratulations, you have taken my breath away.
This was perfect.
| gargle chapter 18 . 11/16/2011
So, seriously? I found this story last night and read most of it, but agonizingly had to stop before this chapter. I was determined to read it this morning and I did and oh my goodness, I was completely wrecked by Kendall's breakdown, I was crying and crying when I realized I had to be at a meeting in 20 minutes... Yeah. Needed a quick cold compress. Your writing, your story, your understanding of emotion and weaknesses, stellar. Logan, James, Kendall, we fully understand what happened with them and why. Their actions and reactions are heartbreaking and real, from the moment of the accident, through the fight in the bathroom, Logan's exhaustion, James' sense of betrayal, and Kendall's odyssey to epiphany, so well crafted. I seriously did not know how James was going to react to Kendall's confession.
And his breakdown. Dear Lord, that poor baby.
Quite recovered now, ready to go find more. Thanks for the story.
| Laughter chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
This is by far the best story on fanfiction! I loved it, I laughed so hard when James ran into the limo when they were trying to get to the studio on time; my Dad stared at me as if I was crazy because I was laughing at my laptop's screen. :D
By the way, Logan is my favourite!3
You are a gifted writer, and I love reading your stories. Please keep writing!
| Kaliet chapter 19 . 9/10/2011
I spent my evening reading this story...it was fantastic. It was the best story I've read so far about Big Time Rush. The writing was superb...everyone seemed in character...the plot was amazing. Carlos is my least favorite boy, but yet you had me wishing and hoping that a miracle would happen.
At the end of chapter 18, I thought the machines buzzing around meant that Carlos was waking up. The beginning of the last chapter made me believe that it meant he was dying, and that Carlos was dead. What a sly thing to do! XD.
I give this story 42 out of 5 stars. I loved it. So much.
| Emily chapter 19 . 7/28/2011
This story makes you really treasure life while you still have it. Nice job!
| Boots'N'Opals chapter 19 . 7/28/2011
WHOOOOOAAA! DUDE! Blindside, much! Haha, I was kinda wondering why they weren't more sad.
That was awesome. It was totally epic. Were you planning to have him survive the whole time? Just curious. :)
Anyway, I loved it. :) Carlos made me laugh so hard. :) And they're all so dang CUTE! I love that James and Logan straighten his tie and stuff. Haha, I love him sneezing and the notecards going everywhere. That's awesome. And his speech is so cute and hilarious and amazing. I'm glad you got to write more of Carlos in this, because you characterize him SO well. I love how happy they are after his speech too, and how they appreciate each other so much more.
I'll be honest: part of me was hoping for a big, angsty funeral. But (*sighs with contentment*) in many ways I like this a lot better. It was so precious.
Okay, so I have kind of a request. I would LOVE to see what happened to the boys in those four months (it's four months, right?) or even just right after Carlos wakes up. You're so good at descriptions and stuff and I would be ecstatic if you wrote it not as a flashback. Don't get me wrong, the final chapter was perfect the way it was. But I would just love to read Kendall's, James' and Logan's joy and Carlos' confusion. So if you have the time or the motivation or whatever- I would be a fan. Thanks. :)
Anyway, thank you for a wonderful journey through this story. As I have said about a million times, you are a wonderful writer, and definitely one of my favorites now. And now that I've filled up like a page and a half of reviews... :) Keep writing, my dear; you have a wonderful gift.
Love and Blessings,
| Boots'N'Opals chapter 18 . 7/28/2011
Aw, the whole summary of the whole story in Kendall's eyes is just so perfect! Sometimes recaps like that can be really tedious, but yours definitely wasn't. It was a really good platform, setting up for the chapter ahead.
I love how everyone's so casual about Logan puking. I don't blame him.
OH my... "Kendall closed his eyes again. Only this time, he saw nothing." Wow. That is so poignant. It's in the perfect spot too.
"Ready?" "No." "Me either. Let's go." Nice. :)
The whole scene of James and Logan leading Kendall to the room is fantastic. It's such a painful journey, and such a beautiful friendship.
He should have been there to watch the bandages removed... Oh, Kendall *hugs Kendall and doesn't let go* Yes you can!
(I'm going insane... ;D)
Okay, when I read this chapter the first time, I actually had to stop reading, because I was like freaking out. Like... I don't even know how to describe it. It's just so good. And SO emotional.
So, I'm in love Logan's speech. I don't know what to say about it except that I love it. I like that Kendall wishes he had the strength to help Logan. "'You'll watch over me, right?'" *sobs uncontrollably*
"Kendall was surprised how long he lasted." Yeah...
Okay I lost it. "'You are a superhero, Carlos.'" ahhhghhhhh...
"'D-Don't be scared. I-It's okay. I-I mean, it's not okay, but… You will be. Soon.'" Do I need to say how much I love you, Rose?
"He rubbed his thumb over the top of Carlos's hand." Aw... "And suddenly, Kendall realized that this wasn't so bad. It wasn't so scary anymore. He could have done this before. He could have visited Carlos sooner." NOOO! Oh, Kendall...
"Kendall swallowed, hard. The lump in his throat was so thick that for a split second he feared he would start to choke." Great description. Sounds familiar.
I wish he could go back in time too. :( Except, then I wouldn't have most of this fantastic story. :) I'm selfish, aren't I?
"He needed to cry, and he could cry. It was okay now.
It was okay.
A tear escaped Kendall's eye.
And he broke down completely."
What a good setup. What amazing writing. How sad. Oh, Kendall...
Kendall screamed. That's so good. I mean, not really, but good for the story. And finally he's letting it out.
Oh no oh no. What's happening?
So, I keep hysterically hoping that somehow he'll survive. Yeah, sadly no... D':
Oh, my gosh, "determined not to let each other go." Wow. I love it.
Yes yes yes! Preparing myself for the final chapter...
| Boots'N'Opals chapter 17 . 7/28/2011
ah, where do I even start? I love this chapter so much.
It's brilliant that he can't remember his voice, that "every memory was blank." *sobs* Poor James! When you think about it though, it's actually hard to think about people's voices, because you're not really hearing them. Anyway...
"James pulled open his closet door and was greeted by a rainbow." Lol. ;)
"James never got the chance to tell Carlos that they were best friends and he loved him.
And suddenly, the mirror was knocked off the wall, the tears were falling down his face, the comb was somewhere across the room, and James was on his knees." Oh my gosh... so wonderful. Speaking of tears...
Wow, Kendall wished it had hurt. I can imagine... You describe his guilt so incredibly. The hiccups are so strong too.
Aw, I really want that picture. :) It sounds adorable.
I LOVE how Carlos got vanilla instead of chocolate for his bros. He's so sweet!
Oh, Logan... :(
I love how you characterize each boys' reactions. They are so perfect! Each of their reactions are climaxed when they remember what they will go through today. For example, when Logan thought that he would have to live with one less best friend, he threw up. And when James wished he could tell Carlos he loved him, the tears spilled over and he flipped out. Not that I need to tell you any of this, but am I making sense? It's just SUCH good writing.
I like this: "'I'll be fine,' he lied." :( so subtle, and so meaningful.
"'When people ask how many kids I have, I sometimes say five.'" AW! Too precious!
Yeah, Logie, Carlos wouldn't care! :)
Haha, the sleepover idea is so adorable! I love it!
Poor Logan... But this image of James buttoning his shirt is just too darn cute! Gah, It's so adorable.
It's cool how Kendall knows Logan doesn't lie. That is so neat. (Hey, a new adjective besides adorable and cute. For once. Are you tired of my reviews yet? :))
"He would gladly just stay there hugging them forever." Awwww...
Oh, my gosh. The ending with the flashback and everything is so sweet and wonderful. "For Carlos." Agh...
Okay, one more until the much awaited chapter 19! :) Here we go...