|Reviews for The Outsider|
| Linale Ashley M chapter 12 . 8/18/2011
Wow! This is amazing. Please update! I think this just might be my favorite Pam fanfic.
| Innately Feminine chapter 12 . 8/16/2011
This is hands down one of my favorites! I love the Pam/OC fics.
This was really interesting, the way you set it up. Love it. :)
| ScOut4It chapter 9 . 4/30/2011
Probably cathartic, but this chapter felt melodramatic and Steven as a complete 180 in addition to Ava's "knowing about things" NOT coming into play and Ivy being a really shitty friend that you'd have thought would have clued her in instead of pushed Steven towards her.
I don't get Pam's motivations or why she even leaves her in that life when she could just re-glamour some other family and let Ava get a fresh start somewhere else.
Sorry, but you lost me and that was probably back at chapter 6, but not every story is for everyone.
I stick with what I said for the way you started this story. It was very well thought out.
| ScOut4It chapter 8 . 4/30/2011
Interesting twist. I'm glad that Ava realizes that the things she's going along with to impress her friends, are not things that she actually enjoys doing.
I am wondering exactly how much Ivy is interfering and why. In the following passage, the person speaking wasn't identified so made it a little confusing to read:
When Ava split off into a different direction she ran up to him and grabbed his hand with her own, "She likes you, you know, she likes you so much and I really think you should go for it."
| ScOut4It chapter 7 . 4/30/2011
Think you wandered a little off track with Stephen and Ivy at the park.
Ava's little sister is three years younger and not ahead in school so I don't see why she would be following Ava into highschool and am not looking forward to that drama. Sorry bout the negative focus, but it's my honest response.
I am wondering what type of a story I've gotten myself into here :), seems like a mystery.
| ScOut4It chapter 6 . 4/30/2011
I will say that even with the years passing by and Ava being intelligent for her age, that she speaks too maturely to be very believable (is she 12 now?) in my eyes. But maybe that's because she's such a quick-witted and cocky little thing.
| ScOut4It chapter 3 . 4/30/2011
I forgot to mention last chapter, that I was amused by your accurate representation of the slow 90's internet, and not just because a vampire would probably notice it more.
Also, a question that was nagging at me was that of what Pam did with Ava during daylight hours?
Your use of the address and date is well used; I wish it was in book form I was reading (as that is easier to flip back through to see what the passage of time is), but I do like the way is shows a realist period of time passing.
It also seems that Pam's well-intentioned parental research was not as thorough as would have been ideal and that another glamour on how to be parents that at least feign a loving relationship with 'their' child (rather than a distant one) would probably help.
| ScOut4It chapter 2 . 4/30/2011
Woah, I don't really 'get' babies either, but this was quite touching.
Even though this, "she pounded delicately against the material of her sweater," probably didn't mean heartbeat...I liked to read it as if it did.
Referring to the aforementioned 'brain'-use, I thought it was awesome that Pam's heightened senses extended beyond the listing of different human's smells as a type of food reader's/humans can relate to, but also to separating things as evidenced by the maggots, what Ava needs, etc...
Pam's reluctant and hidden, yet obvious attachment is super cute; I like how she insured that she would be able to 'check in' whenever and wherever she wants and that regardless of the glamour that was set, Ava still knew that she wanted Pam back and wasn't fooled for a second.
Great writing! It's a shame that more people haven't discovered your diamond in the rough here.
| ScOut4It chapter 1 . 4/30/2011
Not sure if this is the femslash I was hoping for, but as for writing, it's nice to have some inner dialog for vampires that actually hints at their age, verses two-dimensional characters that are all action and no thought (which seems to be rather common in my wanderings as a fanfiction reader).
Thanks for using your imagination 'and' your brain!
| polymorph-x chapter 12 . 11/24/2010
Great story and I know sometimes less is more but I would really like a sequel.
| Moosenn chapter 1 . 11/13/2010
This story is really good, and has a lot of development and thought. I cannot wait for an update. :)
| From the Corner of your Eye chapter 12 . 11/9/2010
**pouts while wiping drool off chin**
I SO love/hate you right now. I just stumbled across this and it's magnificent, but I wanna know what happens! :P
Anyway, just wanted to give my input. 'Twas lovely!
| Rickmer chapter 12 . 10/26/2010
I agree with Lisa: Tease.
Regardless, excellent story. I've greatly enjoyed reading.
I hope that at some point, you'll create a sequel to this one.
| QueenoftheHamptons chapter 12 . 10/25/2010
| krissyblonde13 chapter 12 . 10/25/2010
wow this is definitely an interesting story! please don't end it here! i want to know what happens with Ava and Pam!