|Reviews for Kanon Returns|
| SuperSonicSmash chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
For Nayuki's classmate, it's "Kaori", not "Koari".
| Guest chapter 19 . 10/2/2012
No, it was not a shocker! That like if in Star Wars if Luke went got his fortune told and the fortune teller like "Your biggest enemy is your father!" I think you should really lay off the Stephine Myer novels
| Hagetaka chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
(These are based only on the first chapter. If some of these points may have been addressed since then, I apologize)
Some thoughts from the first chapter:
You're switching tenses. The first two paragraphs are written in present tense (the wind blows plenty of cold air into my face), while the rest of the story switches to past tense (I went back downstairs). Unless you have a specific reason for having them different ways in different scenes, it may be better to standardize your tenses. (Likely by changing the first two sentences to past tense).
There are a few instances of oddly placed or absent commas, but there were no mistakes I saw occurring consistently.
Japan has little in the way of immigration, and people rarely grab names from cultures unrelated to them (How many non-Japanese people do you know who have given their children Japanese names? Or any other culture, for that matter). Patrick's name is something that would need explanation, and it's likely that at least somebody would comment on it. (Though not Yuuichi, for obvious reasons).
It seems rather odd that Nayuki would ask up front about Patrick's father, since she also lives with a single mother and isn't usually that blunt even about matters that aren't as much of a sensitive issue.
Overall, the chapter feels like a copy of the first episode-and-a-half of the anime. I greatly like the idea of including scenes that mirror events from the original story, but this chapter seems to be comprised of almost nothing but said scenes. A little bit more in the way of original content would likely be a good idea. (Especially since, as a result of Patrick's first day greatly mirroring Yuuichi's, he ends up coming across as "Yuuichi, but with a different name")
| redpirate11 chapter 17 . 8/23/2012
Wow, this story sucks. This "Patrick Ozaki" is very bland who for some reason have an Irish first name and a Japanese last name. Yuuichi is out of character in this story (yes he trolls, but never to the point of complete dickery) You force Ayu as a kluz just so she could say uguu (because that what she does all the right?) You insert pointless fight scene just to make your character sound tough but it forced. Also you stupidly put Makoto in a story, just for the sake of putting Makoto in our story. And romance cliche doesn't help ether. Please delete this story, if you want to be forgiven for bending and twisting a masterpiece.
| metalgearhunter chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
I haven't gotten around to reading ALL of it yet, but I am glad you have updated recently! I read the beginning of this a long time ago and I plan to get back to doing that. I'll post more of my thoughts when I finish Chapter 9, but just wanted to give you the heads up!
| callofduty1944 chapter 15 . 2/27/2012
Cliffhangers... Hate them! C'mon the story's gettin good. Keep updating
| Anito Works chapter 1 . 10/22/2011
Whoa! why is it bold?
| melancholyperson299 chapter 10 . 8/30/2011
I really love this story, I'm looking forward to future chapters!