|Reviews for Not on my Watch|
| infiniteworld8 chapter 8 . 2/12
Okay this was great I think the captain is a little too stuffy for my tastes. He's going seems stiff when he's discussing the ring and the wedding. I loved Lucas fixing the computers in the computer store. I have a soft spot for young hacker genius types ;)
The last part was perfect. Lucas implying that he was marrying Dr. Westphalen had me cracking up. His mother so rightly deserved that moment of panic. And I liked that we got to see a bit of her motherly concern in this interaction rather than the cold hearted egg donor that she's come across as.
I’m still having trouble adjusting to this whole world underwater thing. I think the concept is kind of confining because I’m used to Star Trek . The oceans are only so big but space is infinite , you know?
I kind of want to write a Seaquest set in space? But I wonder if by doing so I would be missing out on what makes Seaquest unique.
| infiniteworld8 chapter 7 . 2/11
Sweet! A mushy but nice chapter. I really wish I knew more about the show so I could critique your characterization with a well versed eye. Nathan and Kristin seem somewhat mawkish...overly sentimental. I get they love Lucas and everybody does but the love seems overdone. Also the bold lettering for the e-mails was a tad distracting. I find Italics much softer on the eyes.
Once again another chapter of filler and I’m not feeling the build up to anything substantial. It reads like fluff. Well written and interesting but still fluff. Also I can’t help but feel that Lucas is barging in. He is seventeen after all he really could take care of himself...but I do also understand the want for a little guidance and paternal affection from whatever source happens to care and be available. I’m really hating Lucas mother and father more and more as the story goes on.
| infiniteworld8 chapter 5 . 2/5
I always love Lucas chapters best. I really connect with him as a character on multiple levels. Great job giving us an introspective look at his life. It’s really effective at characterization in this chapter and making the reader connect. Hopefully it’s a precursor giving us a way to really “get” the character before the action sets in so we can understand him better during the actual action.
Really hurting my heart here. I get the way he feels like he keeps trying to get attention and love and he’s finally at the point that if they don’t care then he might as well be done. I can feel Lucas woes on a PhD. It’s a bit much just to get one for the sake of getting it unless you have something to do it on that you’re totally passionate about.
Lucas mum is terrible. You can just feel the uncaring pouring off her. Westphalen feels more like a mum figure than his own mother.
| infiniteworld8 chapter 4 . 2/5
Yes, I remembered right. I knew that little piece of trivia about ear piercing. Lucas father sounds like a despicable individual. He takes time of for his son’s funeral but when it turns out he’s alive then he doesn’t bother to come see him. And the way he said he wasn’t sure if his mom was the winner or loser in picking him up was heart wrenching. I can’t stand parents like that. If you can’t be there for your children and not regard them as a burden then don’t have them!
I’m still warming to the idea of a talking dolphin. But I do see this happening, dolphins are immensely smart and I personally think that they and elephants have a large degree of sentience. That makes it sinful to kill the in my opinion.
I like the relationship Nathan and Lucas have, but then again I’m a sucker for a good healthy father –parent relationship.
| rhinosgirl chapter 1 . 2/4
Hi, Vici! Rhino here –hugs- I am completely fandom blind, so please forgive me any canon ignorance.
I’m immediately captivated by this story being set in the Galapagos Colony because this area is one of my favourite places in the world, and definitely on my List of Places To Visit.
I like the phrase “mentally frazzled”. It paints a far more accurate picture in my mind of someone who has studied far too much than, for example, the phrase “burnt out”. Nice word picture! I do, however, think that in the next sentence the title “sensor chief” should read “senior chief”. Forgive me if I am wrong!
Wendy is clearly dedicated to her job and her friends aboard ship. Even though she was on the brink of a break she was still concerned enough for them that she was giving them options to deal with whatever it was that had happened. (Another story for me to find add to my “To read” list!)
Yes, I’d be loath to pay someone for a month if I was only going to be using their services for a few days, too.
Oh, now I see that what happened involved time travel and an alien invasion of some sort. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I fear Bill is right. People are going to want to be protected from them over earthly dangers. Panic is a powerful motivator. Captain Bridger may well be fighting a losing battle here, no matter how logical his arguments are.
It definitely sounds like they need both Kristin and Wendy on the ship. Those tortures sound horrific, and certainly not anything any psychiatrist could deal with.
Here’s hoping Nathan gets his way!
| infiniteworld8 chapter 3 . 2/4
I think I'm getting the characters personalities (or at least your characterization of them). Tim is sweet, timid and a nerd? Wendy is likewise but has an undercurrent of resolve and determination when necessary and Mary is kind of a shadowy sweet kind helper in the distance.
Not much to say about this chapter. The mind speak was nicely delineated from the actual dialogue. Even though I’m not too familiar with the characters the characterization in them still came through and made sense to a semi-fandom blind person such as myself. I’m intrigued to know about these aliens...Ill guess I’ll have to watch the show though.
Once again this chapter fills like build up but beside character development and a request from readers I don’t see what it fulfils. It’s just my opinion I respect you choice to develop the story however you see fit. The overall pacing of the story is turning out quite slow, but that’s just my preference for fast pacing and a lot of action or intrigue showing through.
| infiniteworld8 chapter 2 . 2/4
Nice chapter I still don’t see what was so big about his secret. Except the lying on an application part. Kind of smart to be able to keep people from knowing his has dyslexia anyway...that’s hard to do. I do wish that this chapter was a little more fast paced. It mostly feels like filler, but hopefully it’s the set up for something more. Once again your writing was up to par.
I would like to say that you write dialogue really well in this story and in the other ones of yours that I have read. I think you could have condensed this chapter though into a shorter one and then combined it with the first. By itself it seems needlessly long and filled with bits of minutiae that while marginally interesting really have no place in the chapter. That’s what deleted scenes are for...I usually wind up with several for my multi-chap WIPS.
| infiniteworld8 chapter 1 . 2/3
This first chapter felt like pure exposition. I know you warned that it would be such but still it’s rather off putting. For a semi-Questie it’s hard to keep all the names and characters straight. I like the way you reference the events of IF island in this fic thereby keeping your canon continuity. I will say that the start of this fic is very well written and I can tell that it was thought out. Unlike some fics it reads seamlessly without major SpaG or wordiness that detracts from so many fics.
I would see if I could cut down on the length of the authors note or even place it at the end of the fic. Such a large note at the beginning is rather distracting. Also disclaimers are unnecessary and legally on highly debatable ground. Overall I intend to keep reading. Your reputation precedth you and I find the promise of a good fic to be too alluring even if the first chapter was lack luster.
| The Real F'n Scorp chapter 1 . 1/30
Hi there and congratulations on having this story nominated in the Reviewer Choice Awards!
As you know, I am not totally fandom blind when it comes to sQ, but I definitely don’t know the second and third seasons as well as I do the first. So please bear with me if I might misunderstand something or not connect a certain point with what you are intending. For starters, this was a really interesting chapter because on the surface it didn’t seem to introduce what the point of the story was. As I started to read I really thought that this was just a setup for the crew to all go on R&R after events that happened in the other story you specified that this one follows. Any moment I imagined that R&R would get interceded upon because some baddie just couldn’t contain his/herself and allow the crew a chance to rest and recuperate. As I kept reading, however, I realized that this was about more than just the sQ going on some well-deserved R&R after a long and brutally fought tour. There’s stuff that is going to be going on that will happen throughout the course of the narrative (and which I’d admittedly understand better if I read the other story or watched the show heh) and which sets up the next conflict to occur. The idea of sQ in space (if I understand that correctly) is also an interesting one and something that I’d so totally want to see… but that’s the Sci-Fi geek in me ;)
I love how here: ((..."We were tortured, Bill. My entire bridge crew, including Lucas. And we were forced to watch each other's tortures. We need counseling and we want Wendy because she was there. No one else is going to understand what we went through.")) you actually highlight the take home information that comes out of your other story. Even without reading that story I know that the sQ all suffered at the hands of a faceless enemy. Nathan’s words convey his anger and pain for what happened, not only to him, but to his entire crew (who he’s responsible for—as their Captain and just because that is who Nathan is). His reasoning for why they want Wendy to be their Psychologist makes absolutely sense. She was there, she saw what was done, she lived and experienced it and can relate to everything that they are all feeling. She is going to understand their nightmares, the jitters at little sounds, and the lingering rage that streaks through them as they think about what was done. She won’t judge them, either, or make them feel as if what they feel is inconsequential and something they should just get over.
This here: (("The women were threatened with rape if they didn't conceive a child with one of us, so our captor would have another generation to torture. Wendy had her feet beaten 60 strokes with a stick and a leather strap because she refused to cooperate. Do you have any psychologists on that list of yours who can say the same?")) is just chilling. It puts the real world into perspective and reminds us that these sorts of things happen all around us—we just don’t hear about it. Also, I think that this is very character defining for Wendy (who I know nothing about quite honestly). She’s been threatened with rape, she was beaten for refusing to cooperate and still wants to stay on and help the others with dealing with their traumas. It shows what a fighter she is and how she’s dealing with the travesties inflicted upon her. I imagine that she is going to be seeking treatment for her issues while she’s away on R&R, but just the fact that she wants to come back says a lot about her specifically.
I absolutely love how Nathan sticks up for Kristin here: (("She's a civilian. She can't give orders outside of Medbay. It was a recommendation from the head of the science department. It was brilliant reasoning that saved lives and a priceless treasure. If she hadn't thought of it and convinced Phillips to do it, the whole incident would have been a public relations nightmare. She saved our butts. But someone made sure she paid for it.")). He makes it clear that she got punished for someone else screwing up and that he isn’t going to stand for it. However, Nathan doesn’t scream and shout or go ballistic in his demand. Not his way to scream or threaten as we know. No, he uses cool and irrefutable logic to get his point across. EVen Noyce can’t argue with him when he points out the facts. And the fact that if Kristin had not pointed out the option open at the time then things could have gone quite differently and someone would have had even more egg upon their face and a whole lot more explaining to do is pretty hard to counter without looking like an ass.
In all, this was a really great start to what looks like an awesome story. Fantabulous job as always m’dear!
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 81 . 7/7/2014
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 75 . 7/7/2014
Big stick, ha!
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 38 . 7/5/2014
Oh, l Lucas as Ironman, fangirling like crazy... Write it!
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 29 . 7/4/2014
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 25 . 7/4/2014
Gah, the cuteness it's killing me! I have a stupid grin on my face and my husband just keeps looking at me weird.
| Mrs. Owl 09 chapter 23 . 7/4/2014
I'll always have a soft spot for Ben, but Tony is just too cute!