|Reviews for Rorschach in AnkhMorpork|
| ladyeyeballz83g chapter 9 . 5/20/2014
Ladyeyeballz83 gmail. com love the fact that you used constable Igor in the story! Will he show up again?
| AlithiaSigma chapter 12 . 6/11/2013
"see how easier it was": "see how much easier it was"
"When I think this stupid Dr White said I would never have success !": ?
"You're telling me I stinks ?": "You're telling me I stink?"
"The melange just make the dragon's flame hurts, they can't burn": "The mixture just makes the dragon's flame hurt, they can't burn"
"You came to see an alchemist ?" : "You went to see an alchemist?"
"said happily the imp": "said the imp, happily"
Some things about English. There is no space between the end of a sentence and the punctuation. For example, "Salut !" would be "Hi!" Adverbs come after what they are modifying.
Sorry about that. I like your story. Continue it.
I didn't correct the first two chapters.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 11 . 6/11/2013
"was that they one day suddenly disappeared" : "was that one day they suddenly disappeared "
"he own his life" : "he owed his life"
"I managed to make come an object and a human being" : " I managed to bring an object and a human being"/"I managed to make an object and a human being come"
I am not unconscious: ?
"pronounced eighth times the same incantation": "pronounced the same incantation eight times"
"getting thus a roasting": "thus getting a roasting"
"giving to his": "giving his"
"to give a raise to Modo": "to give Modo a raise"
Sorry if these are irritating, merely give me a PM if you would like me to stop.
Archimedes in Anhk- Morpork!
| AlithiaSigma chapter 10 . 6/11/2013
yeah, more. Apologies
"You don't remember ? You already come here though.": "You don't remember? You already came through here."
"It's my father," : "He's my father."
Why am I not surprised about the names you chose for the historical heroes?
| AlithiaSigma chapter 9 . 6/11/2013
"should not have drink all that scumble.": "should not have drunk all that stumble"
"Then try to be nice with me by stopping following me first !" : "Then try to be nice to me by not following me first!"
"answered laconically the dog." : "answered the dog, laconically."
"making the prisoner gulping." : Making the prisoner gulp"
"So, you know for the Ogre ?" : "So, you know about the Ogre?"
"I see. I'll left the group and stop going out when full moon, or I'll go out just with you." : "I see. I'll leave the groups and stop going out when it's full moon, or I'll just go out with you."
"I didn't remembered what I had done": I didn't remember what I had done"
"Mum, can you please don't say anything to Dad ? He would be worry." : "Mum, can you please not say anything to Dad? He would be worried"
"and prey any gods you know," : "and pray to any gods you know"
"I'm not into the building anymore ?" : "I'm not in the building anymore?"
"The building suddenly fallen apart." : "The building suddenly fell apart"
"... Oh, good. I hardly see how it could be worst !" : "...Oh, good, I hardly see how it could be worse!"
| AlithiaSigma chapter 8 . 6/11/2013
"I say we should go, at such an hour he won't come,": "I say we should go, he won't come at such an hour."
Yeah, specist is used.
I like this story!
| AlithiaSigma chapter 7 . 6/10/2013
If you don't want these, PM me.
"I would like[to]. Really,"
"It was the Silk... rectification, he Phantasm" : Nobody uses the word "rectification" in that context; "It was the Silk- correction, the Phantasm"
didn't reappeared, : didn't reappear
"answered sharply the vigilante" : "answered the vigilante, sharply
"He held him reluctantly a quite big bundle of banknotes." : He relutantly held quite a big bundle of banknotes to him"
Yay! wolf!Gavin time!
| AlithiaSigma chapter 6 . 6/10/2013
then why another guy could not do so.": "then why couldn't another guy do so?"
"which retarded him," : "who delayed him" I know "en retard" means late in French, but usually "retarded" has a more different use.
"able anymore to use his fingers,": "able to use his fingers anymore"
"it still remained thread." : I do not know what exactly you are trying to say here...
"We got to help her": We have to help her/ We've got to help her
"Not good for fight, hey ?": "Not good for a fight, hey?"/"Not good for fighting, hey?"
"there should be no fight like when they first met.": "there shouldn't be any fighting, like when they first met"
It's kind of cute, the way you set up Rorschach to be the young vigilantes' mentor.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 5 . 6/10/2013
Sorry, more. If you want them to stop, PM me.
"everybody think [s]I'm in the library at night"
"Rorschach didn't let go even one finger around the seamstress' fist.": "Rorschach didn't even let go of one finger around the seamstress' fist"
"Not at all, making easier the Watch's job and stopping unlicensed criminals from harming is very noble on the contrary.": "Not at all, on the contrary, making the Watch's job easier and stopping unlicensed criminals from harming [people] is very noble ."
I don't know many people who use the word "apparition" like that. It's still technically correct, but the word "appearance" would be more commonly used.
Sorry. I apologize. If there is no need to apologize, then I apologize for apologizing.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 4 . 6/10/2013
Sorry for imposing on you like this;
"anthropoid" In the books, the Librarian is usually called an orangutan.
"from why he heard": "from what he heard"
"In the tiny room of Rincewind": a little awkward, try "In Rincewind's tiny room"
"Don't tell me your parents never told you.": This one would be trickier for you to translate, as Rorschach never uses the words "me" or "I" There are other things about Rorschach's dialogue that would be troublesome, like the fact he tends to speak in sentence fragments. I wouldn't worry about trying to change them, as that would probably be more work than it's worth, considering that writing his dialogue in English is already difficult for me and other people who use grammar. I just thought you'd like to know.
"Listen carefully Fredson, no way you go in the street alone again." : Replace "no way you" with "don't"
"once he would have trained more and swear less," : "once he trained more and swore less"
Again, sorry for dumping it on you, but I thought you would want feedback on the translations.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 3 . 6/10/2013
If you don't mind, a few random words
apparition: I think you meant appearance
"I have a work for you.": Either 'I have a job for you" or "I have work for you"
"chaperon's choice" Seeing as the chaperon in question, Rincewind, did not choose anything, it would be "choice of chaperon"
"quite a lot aggressive": Omit 'a lot"
"They must have used the improved machine to wash clothes of Bloody Stupid Johnson" Somewhat awkward.
"Archchancelor wanted absolutely": Archchancellor absolutely wanted
"The other [man] kept on staring at him"
Sorry if you find it offending or annoying, I thought you would like to know.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 2 . 6/10/2013
The translation works pretty well.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 1 . 6/10/2013
Usually, Rorschach would have killed them, but if he did, I doubt the story would go any further than that...
| tom phan chapter 5 . 9/22/2011
I like the idea, but i hate to admit that english as a second language for you is fairly evident at a quick glance.
| Andromeda Stargazer chapter 1 . 2/11/2011
I only read Mort so far so there are things that I don't get yet, but I will read more and come back to this. I liked the all insults to Rorschach mother were true BTW, very clever and funny.