|Reviews for Hold Me!|
| shadewatcher chapter 1 . 1/27/2014
lol XD Nice!
| Kris chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
Awwwz I like this one
| MrsRiddleMalfoy chapter 1 . 8/28/2012
| lostsouloftheunderworld chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
loved this. It's my favourite of all your stories I've read so far.
| Drarry Lover chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
Aww, I just love a Drarry Healer fic. This was fluffy sweet too.
| kidzannie chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
i love these guys together, that they have put the past rivalry behind them and are getting to know the more matured versions of each other.
it's a good story it just felt like there should be more of it, like this was a teaser and there's more to come. i think it's harry's i love you that leaves it hanging. it's sort of unresolved and harry should get his happy ending.
does that make sense?
i still liked it anyway
| Slytherine-One chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
First off, I will start this out by saying that I in no way mean any of this to be offensive.
So, the beginning parts of your story can lead to some confusion. First of all you mention that no one sees him for six years, then say six years later directly after that. Rather than repeating yourself maybe it'd sound better to say something like, 'Harry had disappeared from the magical community without a trace.' then put 'Six years later' It also helps to add a bit to the drama.
Also, try to slow things down a little. I can see the direction you want things to go in, but you seem to get ahead of yourself and instead of letting things build up you kind of just rushed through it. A big thing to do would be to try to show the reader inside Harry and Draco's heads. Try to throw in some feelings and thoughts. Also add more actions (you seem a little heavy on dialouge.
Finally, I think your biggest problem is that the feeling of the story comes off as a little juvenile. It seems to focus on all the "important parts" of the relationship but ends up skimping on all the supporting fluff. It needs more drama, more build up to the 'climax' of the story. If you read Harry Potter and he saved the world in the first book it'd be less climactic correct? And I'm not saying write a whole novel- or even that you have to write more than one chapter- all I'm saying is to take your time and make sure that you put in some stuff that doesn't matter to lead up to what DOES.
Again, I apologize if I offended you in any way or confused you with the way I state things.