|Reviews for Force Maelstrom|
| Kanathia chapter 1 . 2/10
I am by no means a master of commas. They still flummox me to this day, but you certainly need beating help. I couldn't even make it through two paragraphs before that was abundantly clear. I'm not trying to be mean but your abundant comma use is highly distracting.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/19
He doesn't cause he cant fucking survive without chakra you ignorant fuck. Well why don't you write a superman story with a super man with no powers. Or a super saiyan goku story with no saiyan power's or the flash fan fic with him having no speed.
| orangemen33 chapter 7 . 1/1
Brah, where is his magic at?!
| Squarekiddo chapter 8 . 10/21/2015
Damn, thats a shame I truly was enjoying this story!
I really was, but as soon as that Memories take/place thing came up it was a major off switch for me, couldnt even be bothered to read this whole chapter after that bullshit, totally killed the whole thing for me.
| Guest chapter 16 . 6/25/2015
Noooooo! Why must you end it! Please come back to us author-sama!
| ironboy32 chapter 16 . 6/18/2015
Goddamit man u can't just leave us with a cliffhanger! Get your ass back here and finish it!
| Sigh chapter 8 . 5/27/2015
Get a proofreader...so many incorrect words being used in sentences.
| YesOrYes chapter 7 . 1/2/2015
Naruto would not let Laxus beat him up, yes Jet and Droy can, but he'd probably attack Laxus back, since he was never in the Phantom-FT War anyway.
| YesOrYes chapter 5 . 1/2/2015
I was raging on how Natsu defeated Naruto, and then I remembered he lost his major powers. Ugh... and that power of friendship crap.
| LordHatredX chapter 16 . 10/13/2014
| Lolipop chapter 1 . 6/9/2014
Keep it going, though I hope that you will keep his origins a secrets. Its always more fun to read that way.
| majorshane chapter 3 . 5/30/2014
I'm enjoying this story so far. You have great characterization and an interesting plot! :)
I am however curious as to why you chose to make this a Naruto crossover. In your story Naruto's characterization is a significant departure from his portrayal in the Manga/Anime, very OOC. Sometimes this works but you haven't to this readers satisfaction written enough events into your story to explain such a dramatic change. Perhaps more will be revealed later but at this point it just feels like its coming out of nowhere, its just a little to much for my suspension of disbelief (La Tormenta by Jiraiya's Dream, another FTxN story spends the whole first chapter detailing the events that led up to Naruto's character being drastically changed, so we spend the whole story re-getting to know him, and yet we STILL see snippets of the old Naruto shinning through). His shinobi abilities and his jinjuriki status have also been removed from the story, replaced with an OC's magical teachings. (Your Elf OC is interesting and I'm looking forward to learning more about his past and relationship to Naruto!)
If you replace Naruto's personality, moral compass, ninja spirit that never gives up, and his other worldly abilities (chakra etc...), what are you left with? Basically a new and completely different character. The changing and growth of a character can be great for a story, but a complete reinvention and departure from all previously established character traits without showing either a MASSIVE stressor (like Anikan becoming Darth Vader due to the death of Padame) or several intermediate states (Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer going from main villain to minor villain to forbidden lover to supporting ally to co-staring hero) is hard to accept. Granted he is still from another world and has a hard past, but those 2 qualities are hardly unique. So why not just create a new character from scratch?
Perhaps further into the story it will make more sense, but so far your protagonist, as interesting as he is, just doesn't feel like the #1 most unpredictable ninja, nor is there enough narrative provided so far explaining such an abrupt change. I'm enjoying the story, but it just feels off.
These are just my thoughts. Please continue writing! :)
| Guest chapter 10 . 4/20/2014
It's Jella. Not Genard!
| Las chapter 16 . 4/20/2014
WTF?! IT SAID IN THE SUMMARY IT WAS COMPLETED! OBVIOUSLY THAT IS NOT THE CASE, HERE! :0 :( BUT. AWESOME STORY! XD
| byebye251 chapter 15 . 3/30/2014
What up g so im confused about something that I have noticed is u call laxus luxus im curious to why u spell his name that way