|Reviews for Two little boys|
| Hawki chapter 1 . 11/9/2014
-“Corporal Fin Verse, was a Helghast sniper who was one of the hundreds of Helgan soldiers who landed on Vekta.”
I, er, think the helghast had a few more soldiers than hundreds when invading Vekta. Just sayin’. 0_0
-I get the title format, but I’m not sure why only two of them are bolded.
-“Since the end of the first Helgan war two years ago,…”
Assuming that’s a reference to the First Extrasolar War, far more time passed between it and the Second.
-He never knew the old mans name.”
Should be “man’s.”
-“He was taught to read, write, and praise Viscari.”
-Okay, story as a whole…the above comments aside, it’s decently done. The contrast between Helghan and Vekta is set up well, and while it’s what we’d expect from the setting, it’s…well, what we expect from the setting. Doesn’t really do anything new, but does do it competently.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 3/15/2014
really deep. (;
| Veno chapter 1 . 12/23/2010
interesting idea and characters, though i think that you could write a short with this in maybe one or two chapters that would really draw the readers to the characters.
| Lt. Sergei Vezlov chapter 1 . 12/22/2010
Your story caught my eye and my heart. As a pro-helgan I found Corporal Fin Verse to compare to me by flying colors. All I must say is to keep writing... your making this Shit hole of a world a little more bareable