Reviews for Harry Potter vs Mr Potato Head
tighearnach chapter 1 . 3/11/2014
This would be mildly amusing if it didn't reference so much bad fanon.
Lycanthromancer chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
demented fanfiction lover:
If you think that women can't understand bravery, honor, dedication, and so on, kindly go watch the anime Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. The author of the manga (upon which the anime very closely follows) is a woman, and I don't think I've ever heard, watched, or read anything that disproves your theory more.
purpledandelions chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
I think, by reading this, I have understood my problem with most fanfictions: they try to make him into a hero. I never quite got why everyone wanted him to be a hero so badly - but hey, that's why I persist with fanfictions I know will bore me, isn't it? Well, partially because I hope it'll get better soon, but mostly because I try to figure it out. *hint - pretty please explain to me why he should be a hero*

One of the things I personally love about the series is that he is, really, just a normal person thrust into abnormal circumstances. And what makes him a hero is...well, what defines a hero? If we go by yours - that a hero has goals - I would, first off, call that a visionary or a leader. And no, Harry didn't have that. How many eleven year olds do? My personal goals were to survive middle schools, get good grades, get into college, learn a bit, and maybe become a doctor. Harry, with his poor childhood, would probably have the goal to survive. And to give him credit, by the end he aslo wanted to protect the school and keep Voldemort from coming back. That's already more than the average (or even not-so-average) eleven-year-old-going-on-twelve.

Perhaps a better definition for a hero would be a savior; someone who sees bad things and stops them. Again, how many eleven year olds are already that? How many people, even after puberty, are that? And if that's the definition of heroes, well, most heroes simply don't fight trolls. Most heroes are the people like Hermione, who see an injustice and won't stop fighting to get rid of it (though hopefully after doing more research). By the time Harry's well into puberty, 15 or so, he has a very firm goal: he wants to stop Voldemort and his death eaters. Not heroic enough? Perhaps not as difficult as tackling social injustice at the root, but that's a pretty big thing to devote your life to at 15.

Now I can just hear the "he should have got training". Sure. He should have. And I should have studied more for that really important exam. But we didn't. We're teenagers. Act first, regret later. (And refuse to learn until something dreadful happens, because where would be the fun in that?) There are times when I choose fanfiction over my homework, and there are times when Harry chooses Quidditch over his. It's not good for anyone to be constantly working anyways. Stress can kill you just as easily - more easily - than Voldemort.

But say there are enough anti-stress potions that Harry could get through training, and that he could have forced himself to be constantly in studying-for-final-exam-/-triwizard-tournament-mode (with some breaks, naturally) without a mental breakdown. Could he have advanced that much further? Harry, in fifth year, already knew more spells than some seventh years because of the threat of the dragon. It took him weeks to get Accio. It seems to me like there is a reason the curriculum doesn't advance that quickly, unless you're also advocating the equivalent of Calculus in eigth grade (and I would not be opposed to that...the amount of physics the teacher refuses to explain because we don't know it is ridiculous). Even Hermione in 6th year was having trouble understanding the classes. So yes, Harry could have gotten the teachers to tutor him privately or hired Mad-Eye or something. But how effective would it have been?

I'll end by doing what I actually should have - give some criticism about the actual fic and not a semi rant/discussion. The comparison to Mr. Potato Head was a bit confusing at first (or I'm just dim). It took me several reads to realize that you were replacing Harry with a Mr. Potato Head and exploring the changes to canon - and you decided that there would be none. So in other words, you were just saying that Ron and Hermione alone could have done everything except destroy Quirrell. In that case...perhaps simply omitting Harry would be more clear.

PS. I did not lie in my previous paragraph because post scripts are allowed to come after the end without being the end. I also read the first few chapters of Partially Kissed Hero (and if you do end up actually reading this and replying and initiating a discussion/debate, I probably will say more about it) and I just wanted to mention this. When you said, and I quote, that "Every so often the entire Harry Potter universe offends [you] so deeply that [you] just have to react by folding, spindling, and mutilating it" I was really tempted to reply "Every so often I read a fanfiction that offends me so deeply that I just have to react with a flame". You might not want to include that statement. For one thing, if you're trying to have a Harry with enough self-control to train himself, it would seem more reasonable if you had enough self-control to not indulge in "folding, spindling, and mutilating [Rowling's universe]".
Lazurman chapter 1 . 11/24/2013
...My mind has, almost literally, exploded. Now, I'm going to go apply my philosophy on beautiful women to books: The longer you stare, the more flaws appear.

Thank you, Mr Potato Head, for exploding my mind. A mind could use a good exploding every now and again.
Endgames chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
This was good. I did have some kind of vague inkling that Harry more stumbled into situations rather than acting decisively. But I never thought about it to this extent. He really was fairly passive about everything. It makes sense, though, from a lonely, abused, fourteen-year-old's perspective. But it definitely does not make him a hero.
mel chapter 1 . 10/28/2013
The worst thing about the Harry Potter books, and man fanfictions, is that Harry's life is constantly in danger each year without fail. All throughout the year Harry gets clues as to the kind of trouble/danger he will be in, he pisses about and then finally at the end of the school year the danger presents itself to Harry and he fights it.

Every year from year 1 to 7 the shit hits the fan. Why didn't he say to himself - "Gee, I'm the boy-who-lived, unimprisoned deatheaters might want me dead, maybe I should pro-actively protect myself, or get someone to train me, my parents probably had some enemies who might want to hurt me, even now."

"There is a giant-arse snake loose in the castle? lets go get help from the one teacher who we all know is grossly incompetent, not Mcgonagall or Flitwick, nah ron and i will get shit done."

"There is a mass murderer on the loose who may be after me? better put all that training I did (not) do and protect myself if need be, or just stay at Hogwarts where it's safe. Oh who cares... going with my friends, without adult supervision, to the local village is so much more fun."

"You mean a magically binding artefact was brought into a school full of underaged/undertrained children and someone entered my name into the goblet of fire? I better find out who did it; I guess after the last two (three) defence professors tried to kill me I should probably be wary or Moody. Lol nope, I'll trust him instead. You mean I can't just completely half-arse my attempts at this tournament, while still participating, so I can foil the attempt on my life while still fulfilling the requirement of the goblet, and let cedric be the real hogwarts champion? nah bro, lets do this thing."

"Why aren't you people listening to me?! I know i'm a troublemaker who gets into life-threatening trouble every year and mostly seek it out to some degree, but the dark wizard who nearly destroyed the country and killed many of your loved ones over a decade ago, and who was so bad that it took a prophecy to kill him, has returned. He killed cedric! No i don't have any proof that it was voldemort and deatheaters who killed him, and it wasn't me, I promise. What do you mean you what to take me into questioning about cedric's murder? It was voldemort I tell you."

"Yo my fellow hogwarts student, the worst dark lord in forever is back but its cool, I'm not gonna train my arse off or anything, I'll only do that when umbitch crosses the line and none of the teachers do anything. Hermione will handle it all, why don't you go talk to her about it, she is the brains of the operation after all."

"I won't tell anyone that secret to kill voldemort but i'll drag my school friends around the wilds so we can do nothing but stumble upon clues to solve this mess. Hope no one is dying while I angst away. Angst. Lest go through war-time adventures, but we can't kill any of them, leave that to the others, not the order or the ministry though, cuz they don't that sort of thing. What do you mean that the old man who barely had any contact with me throughout my life and deliberately put me in an abusive home so he could sacrifice me to die isn't trustworthy? I don't believe you, but! I'll trust the man who has despised me, cuz i look like my dad, to tell me the truth, it's totally ok, I have my mothers eyes after all. AVADA KADAVRA."

this is basically my thoughts on the quality of character of harry potter. Canon harry potter is why i like fanfiction more.
SpiritGaurdian108 chapter 1 . 10/3/2013
And yet we still hail her stories as some of the greatest of our generation.
sasha1213 chapter 1 . 9/26/2013
Oh, boy! That was unusual and pretty funny. Guess you made a good point. Thanks.
amokima chapter 1 . 8/24/2013
*Snigger* So true; so, so true...
devo342 chapter 1 . 7/17/2013
Awsome
not all sunshine and flowers chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
:O
Werde Spinner chapter 1 . 6/13/2013
I'd just like to say that your writings on the Harry Potter verse have opened my eyes even further to the stupidities therein. Thank you! I knew there was a reason I found the books annoying; they had such great premises, with marvelous settings and characters with such potential... and then flushed them all down the drain. There's a reason why well-done fanfics handle some stuff better.

Further chapters starring Mr. Potato Head in the other 6 books would be greatly appreciated. XD
sendicard chapter 1 . 4/22/2013
All hail lord Potato head!
SecretKeeper42 chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
Sad but true, mostly. Walking to certain death in the Forest in Book 7 was Harry at his most heroic though.
demented fanfiction lover chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
When one recalls that JK Rowling is in fact a woman, and as such, things such as honor, bravery and even heroism itself are somewhat out of her realm of understanding, you shouldn't be surprised when you don't find any real examples of these things in any of her books, even though the plot and story-line are actually fairly good. Though that sounds sexist I don't mean it to be, because I know, as a man I'll never be able to understand some of the things that women do, so I don't expect them to comprehend manly concepts.
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