|Reviews for Patriot's Dawn|
| sagar hussain chapter 25 . 7/15
| arsalan.rex chapter 2 . 7/15
ah.. the good ol sealed kunai, in the form of ramen n it's bowl.
lemme give an example, suppose you have a bowl full of ramen ready to be served, it's kept on a dining among other edibles, are the other edibles at a risk of being ruined? no..
but consider this, the ramen is corrosive enough to tear apart the fabric of reality, change the world as we know it.. would you be willing to place such a thing in but a bowl, n even if done so.. is there not a risk of the bowl being destroyed along with all the other edibles kept in its vicinity?
| Zabzab chapter 19 . 7/13
That's some concentrated bullshit here.
You have Jiraya AND the Sandaime fight Orochimaru and still the third dies? So does it mean Jiraya was NOT with the third? In this case, he should have been in the arena and Kabuto should have been squashed like an ant, not killing Tenzo, not allowing the Shukaku to break free and so on. But noooooo... Let's use some bullshit ex machina instead. Also, they KNOW Kabuto is a traitor, yet he somehow manage to infiltrate the ANBU? Bullshit of the highest level here.
I was hoping Konoha to be a bit more than in the manga, given how they are actually aware of the attack before hand but apparently not. And that's definitely something you should not take as a compliment.
| Zabzab chapter 6 . 7/12
So Naruto took care of one demon brother, a C rank, alone without breaking a sweat and he struggles to death with... Another random C rank, with the help of Ino no less?
Herm... I know ranking doesn't necessarily mean everything but that doesn't feel right.
| falsepermanence chapter 25 . 7/10
this was SOOOOSOSO much better than i was expecting it to be. i actually cannot WAIT for the sequel, ill be on it like white on rice. i almost enjoy this more than the actual naruto series
| TheBeauty chapter 25 . 7/10
Nice story :)
| falsepermanence chapter 2 . 7/9
i kind i really hate that you broke up ino-shika-cho more than i hate that you broke up team 7, but i'll hold out hope that there was a reason for it
| Nadoxx chapter 25 . 7/9
great story! really enjoyed the characterization and action scenes
| cloystreng chapter 25 . 7/9
Glad to see another chapter! Looking forward to the next.
| bumike99 chapter 25 . 7/9
This easily made it into one of my favourite stories on fanfiction. I can't wait to see the 2nd part of this come out, as I imagine it'll be after the timeskip.
The only frustrating part in the story for me was towards the end, where Naruto is offered the assassination Orochimaru by Danzo - then is kidnapped. I don't see how it didn't immediately just click in his mind as - I can play this off as, the opportunity popped up to complete the mission offered to me, and possibly bring back the last "loyal" Uchiha at the same time. After all, just surrender at the border after killing Orochimaru after the 3 years (per Danzo's orders) and then when brought before the Hokage etc. say S-rank mission completed. And pretty sure everyone will remember it that needs to know, and it's not like he ever technically turned it down. He told Tsunade and Jiraya, which said they handled hit but he never actually said no to it. But I can't wait to see what you do with it, and what comes of it.
| DAK11269 chapter 1 . 7/9
This has without a doubt been one of the best, if not the best work I have ever read. I myself am personally a huge fan of the Naruto defecting to Orochimaru trope, and the way you have pulled it off is beautiful. I'll be waiting for the sequel, wish you best of luck in your future endeavors.
| Tears of Death15 chapter 25 . 7/7
WRITE THE SEQUIL ALREADY, this is a damn good story and my patiance is shit, thanks a ton for keeping me entertained over my shitty summer
| UnemployedAstronaut chapter 25 . 7/7
Can't wait to see where this goes! keep it up
| Stinkytwinky598 chapter 25 . 7/6
I dont think im gonna be able to wait for you to start the sequel, i love this story. The only good "naruto defects to orochimaru" story ive seen, and your writing style is amazing. As much as i want you to hurry up and start the sequel, do what you want to do and take your time. Ill be waiting patiently.
| AktheRuiner chapter 25 . 7/5
I've said it before but I'll say it again; you do a great job at writing Orochimaru. He and Naruto's conversation at the end of this chapter was excellent. I liked the detail you put into Naruto's moral/mental struggle, it felt real.
I'm really eager to see how much of a bad ass Naruto will be after the time-skip. I for sure can't wait to see how you build his skills. Serious training with Orochimaru for three years on top of having the Shadow Clone technique already mastered... Naruto is going to be a beast. I think it would be cool If you had Naruto learn the Sealing Arts. I figure Orochimaru would want him to learn it, and it always bugged me that cannon Naruto had no interest in the art when he had one of the most complex seals ever made on his stomach... You'd think he'd want to understand how it works. Plus, its kind of in his blood. Since Orochimaru seems like the type to give a well rounded education, I'm interested to see what else you may have Naruto learn along the way. I'm also interested to see what you decide of for Naruto's summon if you decide to give him one. My only request is that if you do give him one, have it be lore friendly.
I imagine the rivalry between Naruto and Sasuke will be pretty strong throughout the years... Especially if they are constantly training together. I look forward to seeing how you are going to write the Sound Four. If Naruto becomes the leader of the team like you've suggested, it will be interesting to see the dynamic and how much the Sound Four grow as a whole. Not to mention, I've always been a Tayuya fan, so I'm interested to see how you'll have her and Naruto get along.
It would be really great to see some flashbacks of the training, some missions, and just some glimmer of what it was like for Naruto to live under Orochimaru. There is no way Naruto won't see some messed up shit over the years working for him... Of course, I'm also looking forward to seeing how much Ino and the folks from Konoha has grown. Ino and Kiba are a lot more motivated, so I'm expecting good things.
Anyway, this review is long enough. Thanks for writing, and congrats on finally finishing part one!