Reviews for Patriot's Dawn
CountingNumbers chapter 25 . 5h
As someone who has been reading fan fiction for almost 10 years, it is honestly difficult to find a little gem of a story that is actually good that I haven't already read.

And your story, darlin', is a gem.

Is it the best story I've ever read? No. Most of those stories are already published. BUT. Yours is pretty high up there. Definitely an 8 or 9/10.

Thank you so much for this beautiful adventure you have crafted for us and I can't wait to see what you have planned next. (: I'll be watching.

Best of luck and wishes,
CountingNumbers
Tenjo chapter 3 . 10/6
Team Ten is perfect when you really think about what they can bring to the table, the other two teams are pretty crap with all things considered.
Ino is surprisingly important, she has her sensor abilities and her clans mind jutsu, she could also become adept in genjutsu and medial ninjutsu. Perfect support role. Naruto is their main hitter with his taijutsu and next level combat ninjutsu which makes him viable for both close and ranged combat, not to mention he is a seal specialist. Kiba also has tracking abilities which help in ways other than reading chakra signals on living things, as well as his combat prowess. Being agile like Naruto means they work well together with switching if needed. It’s a perfect team.
Absentis chapter 25 . 10/6
(-No Spoliers-)
This is easily going on my rec list. Without a doubt.

Your vocabulary is impressive to say the least; the team dynamics (both social and in combat) are the best I've seen; the moments between Ino and Naruto are just amazingly cute; the plots' twists and turns, along with the moments of action left me on the edge of my seat. You are an awe-inspiring writer.

10/10.
Absentis chapter 14 . 10/5
God, I love the natural banter that the gang have with each other.

"Please tell me you guys aren't gonna get all lovey-dovey on me now that you're making out. If you are, just lemme know and I'll kill myself."
God I love this so much, it's so much funnier to hear the text-to-speech say it on ff mobile.
hakon2feb chapter 7 . 10/4
Hi.
I know you probably don't care at this point, seeing as the story is written and completed, but i would still like to impart my thoughts on the end of this chapter (I have already read chapter 8 to ensure i don't make any false assumptions). There is a rather big difference between Asuma finishing the fight with Zabuza and Kakashi doing the same. The difference lies in one person using a mid-range jutsu and the other a close-range jutsu. Kakashi being stopped by Haku is believable due to his momentum bleeding off/not being able to reach Zabuza through a person's chest. Asuma, having a 4 foot wind blade at the end of his knife would have no trouble slicing through both Haku and Zabuza in one swing due to the potency and cutting power of his wind affinity (he managed to throw the knife through a tree trunk without much effort in Shippuden). If he swung from a distance where he felt he would hit Zabuza, then he would hit Zabuza even if someone else stepped in between the attack.

That's just my thoughts, though... Feel free to disregard them at your own pleasure.
hakon2feb.
narutouzamk chapter 2 . 10/3
Why'd you have to break up the Ino-Shika-Chou?
jon reeve chapter 6 . 10/3
jon_reeve

/You don't really reconcile that this Naruto is supposed to be stronger and more skilled than canon Naruto, yet this Naruto is having more trouble than canon would seem to have. He is having more trouble than he should, considering what several high-ranked ninjas have said about his abilities.

/That's the most annoying part. You seem to have a story you want to tell, regardless if the the characters you designed would actually do things that way. You want Naruto to struggle against common threats and find love with the Yamanaka girl. Meh, the story is already complete, so whatever.
jonreeve chapter 4 . 10/2
My user name on here is actually jon_reeve. I can't log in on the apo I'm using to read.

/Others have mentioned it: Ino somehow becoming skilled enough to challenge Naruto is physical strength/skill/technique is likr bs to progress the romance.

/If that ice senbon was from Haku, you made a pretty large mistake. The demon brothers attack the team not too far from Konoha. If Zabuza and Haku were firmly within the land of waves.

/There was at least one other thing, but I don't recall atm. Your logistics are troublesome, so I may quit this story like others if other logical errors occur as in this chapter.
Guest chapter 25 . 9/28
How long will it take for the sequel
kaffeenator666 chapter 25 . 9/27
I have to say that the conclusions was really the best part of this fic. Don't get me wrong, this fic is full with great parts but I don't get something. This Naruto is rather "dark"(better term would be realistic) and isn't so naive like canon Naruto who only sees the good in people, he sees the flaws in Sasuke as well as in Orochimaru and isn't bound to a few people like a dog infront of a supermarket but I don't really get his motivation, he's reasoning to exist. He seems somewhat shallow but that could very well be because he himself doesn't know what he actually wants/tries to archive other than of course, to survive. Maybe this emptiness is his character and that character is still in devoleptment as well as in need of experience until it finally reaches a conclusion. Well I don't know really but I can safely say that you did a wonderful job with the corruption of Naruto. My musing may have answered my own question but that isn't important, you continuing this story, well...that is.

All in all, I can safely say that this Fic will be addet to be one of my all time favourites.

P.S: please continue this
(Palpatine voice):Dewww itt

With kind regards,
~kaffeenator
Dianne060807 chapter 1 . 9/22
When naruto said ini was pretty, i was excited. I really ship their pairing
halo4hire chapter 8 . 9/19
Holy shit. I mean I expected him to die, just not right in the first mission. Damn.
halo4hire chapter 2 . 9/18
This is a fresh take I haven't seen before. curiosity piqued. Though I have to wonder, are the bijuu staying "demons" in this or are we using the canonical "mass of malicious chakra split from the jyuubi". Quite frankly the whole demon bit is way way over played, with some even going as far as kurama being a king of hell. Gets a tad boring eventually.
Scandalf chapter 25 . 9/8
I don't really like how things worked out with Naruto and Orochimaru. I'd rather he went to Orochimaru by his own will. I'd rather see him actually have hatred in him, hatred towards Konoha, his father, Orochimaru, Akatsuki and even Sasuke. I don't know why you refuse to make your Naruto hate people even when your Naruto is soo much darker than cannon Naruto. Your Naruto can see through Konoha's lies, Sasuke and Orochimaru's worthless selves, Akatsuki's hypocrisy (unlike cannon Naruto who only sees the good in people) but you still refuse to make him hate people. Make him get revenge. All this Naruto is doing is trying to survive. He has literally no purpose in his life. He doesn't want revenge. He doesn't want to change Konoha's ways. He doesn't want to join any other village or person because he hates fighting for someone else. He doesn't mind letting those 4 precious people of his go(which is good because otherwise it was just pathetic). So why is he still, just worrying about surviving? Why does he have no plans? Why does he not want anything? Why is he still so damn meaningless?

I like this fic, I really do. But one thing that keeps this fic from being one of my favourites is Naruto. This Naruto is just words, really. He just fells so empty.
Guest chapter 19 . 9/6
This chapter was actually amazing. The way you wrote the scene from when Itachi turned up was so graphically well done. Like I could imagine everything. And the tone you set for the Real Madara was next level.

H
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