Reviews for Harbour Light
Guest chapter 1 . 8/22/2013
Oh man, I teared up reading this. Because Roy can't forgive himself, because he and Riza love each other so much, because Hughes, sweet Hughes, my favorite FMA character, died too young, and most of all, because you portrayed their emotions so perfectly. You are a very talented author! Keep up the good work!
The 2D Ninja chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
I loved this! I can believe this is your first fanfic! Great job, really. :D
Antigone Rex chapter 1 . 4/30/2012
Only one word of review: AMAZING.
Idreamofblueskies chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
This is your FIRST fanfiction! No wayyyy, I would have thought by now you were an old pro! Really, this is one of the best fanfiction I've read in a LONG TIME. There's so much... EMOTION. A lot of times fanfiction writers overdue it somehow, to the point where their emotional and intense scenes come off as corny. That didn't happen at all while I was reading this. You kept everybody in character and you made it so believable and heart wrenching, I could have gone as far as to believe this was actually canon. That's soooo hard to find in fanfiction these days. Reading this was definitely a treat. 3.

I read your other fics as well, which are also AMAZING. The way you write Roy... Gahh 3!

Gosh, I can't wait to read more of your FMA stuff!

Keep up the great work!
Nevets chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
This is the first time I have come across this genre and Harbour Light has whetted my appetite for more The characters are sensitively drawn and the story offers tantalizing glimpses of their past whilst still remaining a believable episode in an emotionally charged and complex relationship. I would be interested to know if the characters' story and that of the world they inhabit is generally known amongst other readers although feel this stands alone as a bitter sweet and tender moment in the lives of two strongly connected people anyway. Beautifully written and evocative.
RedAmaranth chapter 1 . 11/14/2010
Wow. This is your first fanfiction? It's amazing! I really enjoyed reading it. Very deep and emotional. Keep up the fantastic work!
KageNoNeko chapter 1 . 11/13/2010
Defiantly a great fanfic. Defiantly talks about these characters' stuggles. Roy and Riza are one of the few couples that I support them doing it before marriage because it's for their demons.
remember.the.autumn chapter 1 . 11/5/2010
Wow...just, wow.

I was really blown away by this piece, the subtlety of the language you used was really something, I truly admire how you managed to convey such strong emotion through Riza's actions, whether it was from just her placing her hand on Roy's arm. Every description of emotion and your style of writing was just perfect for the scene you created in Roy's apartment. You really captured the tension between the two characters effortlessly by knowing exactly what to write in terms of dialogue - something that I know is extremely difficult for fanfic writers to do.

Honestly, it's amazing how you've portrayed Roy and Riza so accurately - Arakawa would be proud! I'm particularly impressed by your choice of scenario, carrying on from the 'His Battlefield Once More' gaiden - your story was a complete success in exploring the relationship that Roy and Riza share following from such a quote "If I were to order you to take the lives of tens of thousands of innocent citizens, what would you do?".

I'm so glad that you've written this as a follow up from the gaiden because you did it so well that I can really see your story being an animated scene. I really can't praise you enough.

Also, I think it's worth mentioning that I usually don't have any particular opinion on the Royai pairing (although I always appreciated its subtlety in the manga) but your story really makes me want to read MORE Royai fanfiction! It really made me think about what a complex and deep connection those two share and of course, the relationship that they share with the rest of the team too.

I can't wait to read more from you!
Megami.Ze chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
I think you mark the end of my writing career.

I noticed that our writing styles are very similar, except you write with far more emotion, description and raw *punch* than I ever could. You succeed in entering the mind of your characters and 'living' them. You can think as they do and make them act as I think they would.

Riza was almost spot on. It makes me actually sit back and think about her more, as a person, now than I did before. You succeeded in writing Roy and Riza as a unit, and the rest of the team are like their children. They came in far later. They cannot touch the professional and emotional bond that they share.

Your insights of Roy are very intriguing. Your time frame was definitely a sensitive one. To be stuck right before transfer and the death of Hughes is a monumental thing for a writer to achieve, considering the state Roy would be in at that point in time.

When I was reading this entire piece I think Riza was the most stunning. You seemed to encompass who she is. Explain what is happening behind her cool exterior and sharp eyes. You captured Riza as well as Lieutenant Hawkeye without alienating them as many other writers do. I find it a firm belief that the Lieutenant and Riza are the same person. They are no, necessarily, different masks; the Lieutenant isn't a mask of Riza, but rather another side to her personality, one that is still important. I am so glad that you could pull that off, because I know even I can't do that - and I'm the one that believes that. :P

Overall, astounding piece of work. If this is your first fanfiction than you just need a little more practice and you will become something formiddable and astounding. I don't really see any tips I could give you, because your writing surpasses my own.

I'll be waiting, and looking forward to more of your work.
Starry Pink chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
Such a lovely story! You've captured Roy and Riza's personality very well.
jacksparrow589 chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
First fanfiction... This is your first? Holy... I am completely unashamed to say that I consider this better than me at my best, and I've been writing fanfiction for seven years.

The angst pretty much killed me (in a good way!); I know that this ended how it had to end, but it didn't stop me from totally wallowing in the despair, and oh my goodness was there despair! It was beautifully written, too. Riza wasn't entirely unemotional, but she didn't just break down uncharacteristically, either, and Roy wasn't anime 1-ending emo so much as he was depressed because of the way he's able to put all the blame on himself. (The difference is that the anime 1 Roy didn't bother fighting himself; he just gave up. Even if it's not explicit, even if he doesn't know it, in here, Roy's trying to convince himself that he's not so bad while managing to do the complete opposite.)

The emotion and the tension of it all were beautifully written and, in my opinion, almost flawlessly in character. The OOC bits were just little things here and there, and those are probably the bits that come most strongly from your mind, and with time, you'll be able to blend your ideas with Arakawa's more seamlessly. (But you've done a wonderful job, here, so don't worry enough to, say, re-work the majority of this. Little tweaks make all the difference.)

I can't really give you any other concrete tips to improve your writing other than a somewhat selfish request that you write more stories. This is wonderful, and since I really can't say any more than that without repeating myself, I'm going to cut this short while I can still pretend I wasn't near incoherent for a few moments after finishing reading.

I look forward to seeing more from you! :)

~js589
Oceanee chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
This was absolutely amazing, incredible... it made my heart ache in the most delicious way - I just adore in-character, well written, angsty fanfiction, and yours truly is a gem. Thank you for sharing it with us, I really hope you will continue writing. I'm adding your story to my tabs right away!
SweetAngel91 chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
Well for a first fanfiction it was a really good one I think. The characters were almost perfect and you succeeded in showing the complexity of Roy and Riza's relationship. Some parts may have been slightly confusing, and I think Riza overreacted a little or at least was a bit OOC in front of Roy's question... But those are little details in reality; your end was very sweet as well. Hope to read you again soon!
mebh chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
You know most of my thoughts already, but this an absolutely stunning piece: fresh, insightful and dripping with that loyal, quiet, sad love we all associate with Royai.

Your style is very classic and you don't use smoke and mirrors to enchant the reader; you're generous in your approach. Touching on depression and the shadows of war then running the gauntlet to the physicality between them, we really see a full spectrum of what a relationship can be.

I honestly can't wait to see what you come up with next - fantastique!
Lou Nebin chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
Wow! That was great for your first fic! Congrats! Keep writing!
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