"What? But there were only five Istari," Sorne argued, getting a few sour looks from the rest of the students. "Gandalf, Rabagast, Saruman and the two blue wizards."

Radagast. Radagast! The Brown wizard.

Somewhere, someplace, a mini balrog is born.

If you ever can get a message to Miss Cam on my behalf, please ask her if she has children.

"Miss Cam" sounds suspiciously like it could have something to do with . . .

but . . . no, that would be self-insertion, wouldn't it?

Oh dear.

Ah, a very nice and satisfying ending. I liked that she got to go back and write her story though before she returns to the University. You did a good job too of capturing that joy-sadness feeling of finishing a story, especially a long one, as Lina finishes her story and as you finish yours. There’s a definite sense that the story carries on, even though it has ended, that the characters will still be living and doing thing even after we can’t see them anymore, rather like LOTR itself.

I know I’ve said it many times in my other reviews, but I’ll say one last time that your story is clever, humorous, and lots of fun. I’ve immensely enjoyed reading it over several weeks, and it has brought me a lot of good laughs. The way you’ve made a hilarious story out of bad fangirl fics is really quite brilliant, and I applaud your achievement.

Yes, it was mainly about the humor, but it was also nice seeing the gradual change in Lina over the course of the story, how she goes from being just another rabid fangirl and changes into someone who’s on the staff, Miss Cam, and the University’s side, which is of course appropriate since she ends up as staff herself. The only thing about the whole story that I would have liked to be different was perhaps a more solid central plot. The story was very episodic in nature, and while it all led toward the students getting their licenses, there wasn’t any single episode that lasted more than two or three chapters. For the first twenty chapters or so, there was the continued plot of Lina realizing that she was falling for Gimli and him realizing that he likes her, but after they got together, there was no central plot from chapter to chapter. However, that isn’t necessarily bad (probably more of a personal taste of mine) and the story was definitely not lacking because of it. I might have enjoyed it a little more with a firmer central plot, but it was still quite enjoyable enough as it is. I was a little disappointed, however, that you never showed the students getting to take a weekend trip to Minas Tirith. I think you could have made that into quite an interesting and amusing chapter or two.

So, maybe I am as bad as Lina at grasping the blatantly obvious, but I’m not sure who or what the Ultimate Evil is. Bad grammar? There were hints throughout the story about it, but I couldn’t put them together to point to one single thing that I thought was a candidate for Ultimate Evil. Hmm, I guess I shall have to ponder the mystery along with Lina.

Thanks for sharing your brilliant story with us. I shall miss having chapters of OFUM to read in my down time. Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I really enjoyed the two interactive learning seminars, though I think the OFUM staff might be enjoying their sadistic tendencies a little too much, even over fangirls. Once again, you did a fantastic job with the seminars of poking fun at things that so commonly pop up in fanfiction stories, and that I appreciated greatly after having read numerous fanfics. I LOVED the thing about forcing the students to run a course filled with rocks to teach them to not put author’s notes in the middle of their stories. Ugh, that’s one of my pet peeves, and I really laughed over that part. And it was funny how the creatures seminar was set up, with all the cute non-Middle-earth animals and all the Middle-earth monsters – it is rather ironic, isn’t it? And I loved Legolas’s comment about them not needing to be rescued by total strangers. And I laughed very hard when Luthien showed up as Thuringwethil and terrified all the students; that was very funny, and I loved seeing my favorite Tolkien heroine in action.

Some random favorite moments from the last few chapters:

The thing about Sauron and Morgoth fighting for world domination via a game of Risk. That was hilarious. I could totally see that image too, and it was so ironically appropriate. That would be an epic story in and of itself. That was possibly my single favorite moment in the entire story so far.

Frodo’s line about everyone loving Gollum for falling but just from a distance made me laugh, too. Part of it was the way Frodo phrased it and the tone of his voice that I could hear in my head when I read it. Part of it was the ironic humor of it. Brilliant.

The image of Sauron and Morgoth walking on a catwalk was just…disturbing. But hilarious. I’m pretty used to disturbing images at this point in your story, but that one was…interesting. I don’t know if I shall recover. But then again, I’m not completely sure if I want to recover. Yeah, that’s a mental image that’ll stick around for a while.

The suffering test that Miss Cam makes the students go through in order to write angst and suffering fics was amusing. But it’s so true. In writing classes, the teachers always say to write what you know, so it fits. I bet there’d be a lot less suffering/angst fics if they had to all go through that ordeal though, especially the hour with the Witch-wall.

I loved the sentence about the Ent student attacking the Witch-wall and giving Saruman flashbacks. Yet another one of those brilliant little moments that you are so good at. I ask again, how do you think this stuff up?

And I really laughed over Morgoth and Sauron’s poker game, especially Morgoth’s line about them both cheating and him cheating better. I think it’s his “duh, of course I cheated” attitude, along with the brilliant “I just cheated better!” that made me laugh so hard.

Keep on writing!

Sauron Gorthaur

Haha, Morgoth has lusters now – he actually did it. It is funny that he seems to be the only person who actually wants to have lusters. Everyone else, like Legolas and Aragorn, want to get rid of them. There’s something disturbingly cute over him being so delighted at finding out that he has fangirls, though. And the thought of Morgoth and Sauron in cricket uniforms – the sad thing is, I can actually see that mental picture, and it kind of is frying my brain. I don’t know whether to laugh my head off or be utterly disturbed. But I think that could go for a lot of the situations and weirdness that goes on at OFUM.

Morgoth’s class was very funny. I liked the line about the shadow of the past, a nameless fear, along with the fact that most of the students have no idea who he is. He’s so shocked at no one knowing who he is and what he’s done – it’s kind of sad, actually. And him “winning” a date with Ungoliant and Shelob – again, disturbingly funny, especially Sauron’s line about Morgoth and Ungoliant having a lot of old memories to relive. And I loved the line about Ungoliant even not being able to go near urple. And Shelob’s wanted web poster of Sam made me laugh very hard.

Hah, I liked the bit about Feanor selling marble “Silmaril” replicas – hilarious. And I loved when Elladan and Elrohir showed up and a bunch of the Legolas girls flipped out; for being “not in the movie” characters, the twins do seem to rack up quite a lot of fangirls on this website. And the part where the mini-balrogs were going to sacrifice students to the Valor was quite amusing, too. And Long Table Elrond – such a funny way to poke fun at the misuse of commas and the dangers that such grammatical errors can produce.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I liked this session of Evil Minions 202 – very funny. I liked Sauron and Morgoth’s interruptions in the middle of the class over who hisses better. It was amusing how when they are there, the Nazgul act minionish and submissive, but the second they are gone, the Nazgul start snickering about them and calling them vain. But then they immediately start imitating the Dark Lords by quarrelling among themselves over who is the better Nazgul. So apparently, the lesson to learn from this is that Overpersons’ personalities rub off a little on the minions, which I actually don’t think is so far from the truth, from the way the Nazgul act in the books compared to Sauron.

I love how the mini-balrogs act like their misspelled namesakes; all the misspelled Isildurs being chased by the misspelled Saurons was funny. And mini-balrog gods; that’s gotta be fun. Can’t wait to see where that goes. And I like the idea that all the students get a mini-balrog supervisor. I had wondered what was going to stop all of the fangirls from reverting to their original ways, and I guess that effectively solves the problem.

Hehe, I loved Sauron and Morgoth’s real therapy and that they have to tell them it’s anger therapy. Wouldn’t want the Dark Lords going soft, would we?

The Ten Tolkien Truths were fantastic, too. My favorite ones were the one about not stealing characters and not bowing to Toey, though they were all hilarious. And the Mouth of Sauron proclaiming them in his “Valar” voice was amusing, too.

Haha, I laughed over the part about Sauron and Morgoth’s chess game, and how they are each bribing people to change the board while Sauron’s sick until it gets absolutely ridiculous. You have a sort of dry humor, especially in the narration, that really goes with my sense of humor. I think the matter-of-factness in the narration about the utterly weird and wacky things going on is a lot of what I find so funny about this story. The part about the Jedi student had that same dry humor, and I liked that part, too.

And speaking of weird and wacky, how do you come up with Nazgul-bunnies? But they fit in so well. And I loved their jumping contest to decide who would be which number, especially the Hutch King of Abetmart. So funny!

Haha, I loved that Pippin stole the palantir from Gandalf while invisible to spy on Saruman. And I loved the part where the Ring was calling (literally) out to Sauron, but then gives up and decides it really needs to move on, then starts trying to convince Frodo to turn evil. The idea of the Ring turning people evil and being a temptation will always be different in my mind now.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I loved the staff horror night! So funny. I love the sort of “in jokes” that you only appreciate after having roamed around the fanfiction world for a while. And it’s very funny that they force the staff to read them to make sure they remain commited to teaching the students. There were so many parts where I laughed out loud, like Legolas’s confusion over referencing wells, Aragorn and Sauron arguing over their staring contest and Arwen’s banner, the Ring teasing Boromir all the time about being slow, and then the hilarious thing about the Plz RR orc. This might very well have been the funniest chapter in the story yet. And I loved how Sam is protective of Frodo and won’t let him read the story.

The Nazguls’ first class was pretty humorous as well. I liked the explanation for why they talk the way they do, especially the quote about the fine line of being too stupid or too smart. And the reference to Harry Potter was very funny, along with the Nazgul’s retort about it being a bad book. And the Society for Important Characters was amusing, too – I love how Glorfindel keeps running around trying to prove that he’s important and that he really came to Frodo’s rescue. I really laughed over the Nazgul’s “But you no pretty” response to Glorfindel, followed by the Glorfindel fangirls’ protestations.

The lesson to be learned from Ragna, know what a word means before you use it, was pretty funny, as I am familiar with the problems that arise in fanfiction when that lesson isn’t learned.

Galadriel’s class is pretty hilarious, with her being able to mind read and all. I loved her line about feeling strange urges everytime she looks at jewelry.

Fantastic work! Keep on writing.

-Sauron Gorthaur

Haha, I love Numerology 101. I had a sneaking suspicion that I knew what it was going to be about as soon as it was mentioned, and I saw where the whole nine Nazgul, nine Fellowship members thing was going, but it was still very funny. Of course, a humor fic about fanfiction and fanfiction writers wouldn’t be complete without making a little bit of fun at the Tenth Walker concept. Elrond’s outraged, sugar-dripping reaction was perfect, too, and him forcing them to chant “the Fellowship mantra.” Also humorous was his lecture about there being no twenty-first undiscovered Ring of Power.

Heh, Sauron and Morgoth have to take anger therapy. Very appropriate, and quite funny. But even more funny was the fact that they ended up arguing over who is the most angry and acting as if being the most angry is a good thing.
I like the idea of the mini-balrogs sort of having the personalities of the characters from whom they received their name. Quite funny.

I loved the part about Gandalf coming to the costume party as Ungoliant and scaring Morgoth witless. So far there haven’t been a ton of Silmarillion references, but that was a very funny one to slip in. And the fact that Beren and Luthien chase him out. The mini-Ungoliants eating the entire kitchen and then eating themselves was also very cleverly hilarious. I laughed really hard over that one.

I loved the line about how the students all legitimately passed Frodo and Sam’s class because failing would be like kicking a puppy.

Hehe, Saruman flip-flopping and working for Morgoth – again, so appropriate for his character that it adds that touch of reality from the books to make it funny. And the Nazgul turning white and freaking out about it – once again I say that you are brilliant at coming up with the weirdest, but funniest, ideas.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I LOVE YOU. CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?!

No matter how many times I read this story, there's always a smile on my face when I finish.

Hehe, so Lyle and Sauron, eh? I guess it works because she’s a Vala. Anyway, it’s amusing that the unlikely ones, Gimli and Sauron, are the ones with the girls while Legolas, Aragorn, the hobbits, and the other likely ones are remaining obstinately out-of-reach for all their fans. The irony is amusing. And the not scary Orcish Inquisition – it actually reminds me a lot of Monty Python’s Inquisition in its not scary, bumbling manner of going about things. And how can you go wrong with Monty Python references, anyway?

Oh, so the mini-balrogs are actually created when someone spells one of the characters names wrong? Haha, I love it! That’s very funny.

Eoywn’s seminar was hilarious. You are good at situational humor, and that was a good bit of situational humor when all the girls were hitting on “him”, only to have their hopes dashed by Faramir and discovering that Dernhelm is a girl. That’ll teach them to read the books thoroughly. And the Witch-wall is appropriately afraid of her. I also liked that her seminar is about being a strong, but well-written, female character; a lot of the jokes in your story are much more funny if you’ve been on this website a while, and after all the would-be warrior Mary Sues I’ve come across, I appreciated Eowyn’s seminar even more. The fact that the students are forced through a GrammarBootCamp was also appropriate and amusing.

Also humorous was Aragorn teaching them a lesson for saying that you can get places very quickly in Middle-earth. Again, this was very funny and much appreciated after all the times I have run into similar problems in fanfiction stories. And it was also funny how all the girls started stalking him when they realized they were out in the middle of nowhere, and how Aragorn kept getting more and more nervous around all of them.

And Legolas’s plan to play matchmaker for all his fangirls until he gets rid of all of them is quite amusing, too. Though it’s a good thing he’s an elf and has all that time to do it. I hope he’s counting on all the new fans that are doubtlessly created every day, or so I assume from the new Legolas stories that constantly pour into the website. And the fact that Legolas is totally awkward when it comes to romance and courtship was also ironically funny.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

The hobbit’s love chart and explanations of all the different pairings and what they represent was quite amusing. Hehe, I liked the one about Merry and Pippin’s official relationship being urple banditry. Also humorous was the reference to the “Sauron’s daughter” stories floating around out there. And Frodo and Sam looking happy and cute and getting everyone to study hard – very amusing form of emotional blackmail. It would work on me.

Ooh, the Headmaster’s Tolkien! I love it, and it’s so appropriate. I sometimes wonder what Tolkien would think if he knew about fanfiction, and I like to think that he’d approve of a program to educate future fanfiction writers about his world. And I like that all the characters have an awed respect for him; the part where Sauron defies the restraining order was hilarious, but the best part was when Miss Cam threatened to call the Headmaster and Sauron was actually daunted by the thought and gave it up. I love stories about author/character relationships, and I love your bringing of that in.

Heh, Galadriel’s mind reading abilities was funny, and how she won’t allow any of them to slack off (even though that’s what Universities are for.) And I loved how Haldir cheerfully starts telling them how he would have shot them as Galadriel and Lina leave.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I liked the scene of the finding of the First Ring by Lina and how it mirrored Bilbo’s finding of the One Ring, how they are both found accidentally by someone groping about in the dark on the floor. However, Toey’s “magic” power, though quite different from the One Ring’s, is very humorous. And I laughed over the part about the necklace of getting a song you hate stuck in your head. And now I will always, always laugh every time I type “teh” instead of “the” or see someone else do it. When all those things happen to me, I will now think of them as Sauron’s curse on the world.

Hah, Gollum was almost kind of cute, though I wouldn’t have wanted to be in Lina’s situation. He reminded me of a dog a little, although there are times in the books/movies where he also reminds me a bit of a dog (like when he brings Frodo the rabbits and in general when he’s being nice). Especially funny was the part where she distracted him by throwing Toey to him, and his “Oh, shiny” reaction made me laugh.

Hehe, the line about getting lots of hangovers when you hang out with Legolas too long – very amusing. In LOTR, you kind of forget that Legolas is one of the same elves from The Hobbit, and we know what Thranduil’s court is fond of doing. It was a sly little reference to that, and I appreciated it.

“Throning” is a great word. I wanna use it now! And I can totally see Miss Cam being the throning type. I like how she handles all the crazy fangirls, with a tough fist and absolutely no sympathy.

I liked the scene with Frodo popping out of nowhere with the Ring. That whole scene in fact, with all the LOTR characters gathered around the breakfast table chatting and complaining, was pretty amusing.

And I just loved this sentence, “And as always, fights drew in the Dark Lords like Tom Bombadil to a poetry reading”, and the whole massive fangirl library fight overall.

The story’s still brilliant and I’m still loving it. Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur