Again, how do you think these things up? I love reading situational humor, although I absolutely fail at writing it, which makes me have even more respect for the people who can write it. This story is getting weirder and weirder, though it hasn’t gone to the point of so weird that it’s not funny. It’s still hilarious in it’s absolute weirdness.

For example, rocks getting mixed in with the Witch-King’s remains and him being resurrected as a wall. It’s weird, but funny, and I love how he tricks Lina into feeling sorry for him then falls on her and does so crowing about still being evil, even as a wall.

I loved Aragorn’s meltdown before his class. It was hilarious how Gandalf was trying to give him the pep-talk about heroic things he’s done, but Aragorn’s about to take off running at the thought of hundreds of fangirls trying to get at him. I particularly liked the sentence about him looking like he’s preparing for a battle.

Frodo and Sam’s class was humorous again, although I think my favorite part of it was Frodo’s discussion with the Ring afterwards. Frodo’s retort to the Ring accusing him of being evil was perfect! So was the Ring’s retort to Frodo’s accusation about the Ring trying to kill him. I like the Ring a lot – it’s got quite an attitude.

Hehe, it looks like Gimli might have developed some feelings for Lina, and that she might be leaning his direction, too. Hmm, that could be an interesting twist…

And of course, there are all the little random bits that I am totally loving about your story. I liked Elrond’s lecturing about reading parts of LOTR other than the bits with Legolas. The little side scene with the Glorfindel fangirls trying to get Glorfindel to appear and Arwen being annoyed was a funny book-vs-movie moment. I loved the bit about Sauron getting distracted by Frodo during one of the contests and falling in his own hole. And Sauron and Morgoth’s massive trying to outdo each other, and claiming to invent Yahoo, Microsoft, and Britney Spears and getting more and more outrageous with each of their claims to prove their ultimate evilness, was hilarious. I still love that everyone threatens Tom Bombadil poetry as the ultimate punishment, and there’s a certain ironic believability that Wormtongue might have helped create the worst color in the world.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

Haha, another fantastic chapter. I loved Sauron and Morgoth’s methods of revenge upon the students. It’s like the worst day at college ever, bordering on a nightmare, but there’s something so perfect about it being the Dark Lords doing it. I particularly liked the one about putting chili in everyone’s breakfasts; that’s more spiteful than actually evil, but Sauron and Morgoth being spiteful is even more funny.

Oooh, it looks like Sauron might actually have an admirer. Heh, at least I’m not completely alone.

Merry and Pippin as the school pranksters, very funny. And I loved Pippin’s line about having to go get second breakfast now – it’s hobbity in the extreme. And I think that’s what I’m liking about all your characters. They are outrageous and extreme, but they have enough of their actual personalities and traits from the books/movies that it makes them still funny. In some humor fics I read, it gets taken too far, to the point where I don’t believe that the characters could actually be the characters anymore. You are pushing them to the very border of that line, where it’s still very funny, but you haven’t pushed them over.

There were a lot of great lines in this chapter. These were some of my favorites:

“Of course, he was a Dark Lord, so he always looked ready to kill. But today he looked ready to kill instantly and quite more painfully and slowly than usual.”

Sauron’s whole line about how to build evil structures. He’s got this sneering, derisive, arrogant way of talking and phrasing things that fits his character perfectly.

“Oh, and Gandalf says I should let you know in advance when I intend to have tests. So, we will have a test – in five seconds.” – He’s so evil *laughs loudly* I loved this “nightmare professor” moment. I love how he twists Gandalf’s words.

“When there was a loud bang and smoke came drifting down the hallways a few minutes later, it was clear to everyone that the great Sauron/Morgoth Alliance was dead – may it rest in peace.” – You are brilliant, you know that? Just brilliant.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

Ha, I loved Sauron and Morgoth in this chapter. Yeah, they’re kind of OOC (OK, a lot OOC in a funny way), but they’re funny because there’s actually a bit of truth in there mixed in with the outrageousness. I loved their differing plans for how to get the students to confess, and that then they start arguing over whether manipulation or force is better. Of course, in the books, Morgoth is rather about brute force while sneaky Sauron the Deceiver would rather manipulate people. The fact that you threw in those actual characteristics of the two Dark Lords was very funny, and it’s more funny that they both think their method is the best one.

Also, humorously close to their real characters was the part about them strutting around and showing off, while most of the rest of the staff are fairly modest and don’t show off to the students. Heh, and the restraining order thing made me laugh pretty hard.

The “What’s in a Name” class is a great idea. I’d been trying to figure out what it would be from the title, but couldn’t, but this is such a funny idea. I’ve seen some pretty awful manglings of LOTR characters’ names, and it’s amusing that they have to take a full class that is simply learning how to spell all the names correctly.

This is such a fun story. Keep writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

Frodo and Sam’s class is hilarious, too. I love it! I like how they have a whole class trying to teach a bunch of teens how to write a story that isn’t about romance. It is amazing when you see the overwhelming ratio of romance to friendship stories on this website, with romance winning by an epic long shot. And knowing that makes this chapter so much more funny. And the Ring is hilarious – I love that it learned Common. It’s a people ring, eh? The funny thing is, I can actually imagine that. And the only way to make it shut up is reciting Bombadil poetry at it – again, that for some reason really appeals to my sense of humor. And I loved Sam’s friendship hug chart.

It’s funny also seeing all the competition going on among the students, and how they’re splitting up into their little groups based on who they like, but each member of the group is ready to backstab every other member of their group. It’s hilarious, but at the same time kind of scary. I’ve seen some of the rows that go on in the forums between fan groups – I can hardly imagine how it would be if the lust objects were actually up for grabs (sort of). I wish I could see it. I wish I could be there during this whole story frankly.

Elrond’s class was pretty amusing, too. I liked his line about pointy ears not being what makes an elf an elf. And I loved Arien’s declaration of desire for Elrond and his momentary shock and reaction. I laughed pretty hard there. And I loved Lina and Dot’s horror over the idea of writing a fanfic in Elvish without a self insert. Again, after I’ve been on this website for several years, that sort of thing strikes me as even more funny.

Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

I love all the plans to attract objects of desire floating around, all the plots to try to get Legolas in particular. Hehe, Lina’s plan was actually not so bad, at least a bit more subtle than the other ones, but I loved that Gimli instantly knew what she was after. Poor Gimli, always getting ignored. But he’s a smart dwarf, isn’t he? And maybe he doesn’t mind not being mobbed by fangirls on sight. Maybe I should be saying, poor Legolas. And it’s hilarious how all the elf girls keep touching their ears and making everyone else jealous.

I liked that the plan to attract Pippin was making mushrooms, and the way it backfired was funny. I laughed out loud over the line about all the hobbits going slightly mad. The mental pictures for that were…humorous.

And oh my gosh, I loved Sauron’s first class! He’s like the worst college professor that can possibly be imagined, and since I am currently in college, I can appreciate that. Heh, making them come to class during orientation week – brilliant. And I loved Sauron pulling out the “in my days” line, and acting like he’s so disgusted that evil has fallen this pathetically far. But by far my favorite line had to be the one about Gandalf reminding him that all this is for stories, not for real life. I could just feel the disappoint and disgust seeping out of him at that moment. And I loved the thousand page essay – yep, definitely the nightmare professor.

I’m also loving this Sauron and Morgoth competition thing. Hah, I almost want to see a Dark Lord hobbit throw contest – I’m sure Sauron enjoyed that one. And the one about blowing things up and trying to get Gandalf to decide which of them is better. And I loved that Tom Bombadil poetry is the most awful thing that can happen to you at OFUM and that it’s the punishment for bad behavior, and that even Sauron can’t stand it.

Anyhow, it’s all very funny. You have a brilliant mind. Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

Haha, what a brilliant idea! I’ve never seen anything like this before, but it’s an awesome concept. Now I’m jealous that I don’t have the sort of mind that can think something like this up. This is hilarious so far, and now I really, really want to get to go to OFUM! Ha, and think of all the Mary Sues and other such stories that an official fanfiction license would take care of.

I’m liking Lina so far. And I like all the jabs at the “fangirl” condition. The moment where they all charged Legolas was very funny – I can imagine that that would be the exact reaction if you put hundreds of Legolas fangirls in the room with their object of desire. And Lina is like the perfect stereotypical Legolas girl, having only read the parts of the book with him in it. Muahaha, I think she’s in for more than she can imagine… And heh, the thing about people actually becoming the race that they put on their forms – that was hilarious. I would so want to be an elf, or a maia.

I like that you start the story off immediately. I was instantly hooked and drawn into this fascinatingly weird and hilarious plot from the very first chapter.

And my favorite Dark Lord is teaching a class! I can’t wait to see what Sauron’s class will be like. And I like that you’ve included Morgoth in the staff – can’t leave out the good old Silmarillion characters. Though I’m guessing that probably most of these “Legolas stampeders” haven’t even read The Silmarillion, which I’m guessing will be food for some humorous moments in this story’s future.

Good work so far. I’m loving it. Keep on writing!

-Sauron Gorthaur

so far... amazing

When I read this, I started screaming and jumping up and down... my mom thinks I'm crazy, but who cares, this the best fic EVER!

Okay, The One Ring with a sense of humor is just scary. And also hilariously funny!

I love this so far! All those punishments are so funny and an angry Elrond!

okay, I know you have thousands of reviews, but I still have to say this: This is my third time reading OFUM, and it's still as brilliant as it was the first time! So utterly brilliant.

Wow... this was made a decade ago. That's a long time. Still, the message remains, as they say.
Well done for making this amazing story. It's going on my list of 'GoodFics'.

Nobody expected that.

Well, that was fun. I think that at least some of those Mini-Balrogs were the result of AutoCorrect.

You owe me a new soda.