|Reviews for Between The Two of Us|
| Vanechka chapter 13 . 3/16/2012
Hmm...intriguing! dubious things abound indeed.
| Gunlord500 chapter 13 . 3/11/2012
Time for a review, my friend :D That thing about an "unfulfilled wish" was really interesting...you're doing a very good job of putting your own spin on the nature of the morphs, along with leaving the readers tantalizing hints about what Limstella and Leila are trying to do. Nice job! D
| Hyralc chapter 13 . 3/10/2012
Kinda boring chapter, but u said it would be yourself. But morphs with souls? oh god...
| Gunlord500 chapter 12 . 1/12/2012
Hey man! Can't believe I didn't review dis earlier...I will hop to it now. 8)
Really intense...you do a good job of capturing how desperate Matthew and Brunya are, and the risks they're enduring.
Very interesting that Brenya wasn't killed immediately...I wonder what's waiting for her and Matthew at the Dragon's Gate! :O
I guess I can understand Matthew's ruminations over what he feels for Brenya...hmm. :o
Sorry this review couldn't be longer, but thats all I wanted to say...liked this chappy and am looking forwards to the next one :D
| Vanechka chapter 12 . 1/4/2012
ABOUT TIME YOU DID AN UPDATE.
Haha, Matt is such an airhead when it comes to romance. I'm amazed that this pairing might actually work!
Heh, Leila is a bit too evil for my liking. Then again, she's a morph, so.
You might want to flesh out descriptions a bit more? Like, I was barely getting excited about the action (where Leila kidnaps Brenya) when, snap, it's over. Haha.
Keep writing! And update soon :D
| Hyralc chapter 11 . 4/14/2011
It was kinda short. Ugh. And at the level where you fight Limenstra, in the beginning doesn't Nergal (who actually has a sprite of only a regular druid in that scene XD) say that in a day Limenstra's immense magical power would corrupt her body so therefore should go out so she has use?
| Gunlord500 chapter 11 . 4/13/2011
Ya~hoo~! Good to see you back UDK :D
Anyways, this was a pretty good chappie, not much I can say about it...a couple of awkward phrases here and there, but nothin too big. Wonder if we'll ever find out how Limstella survived :o Anyways, the battle scene, as short as it was, was still good, and the end with the "compromising" pose was qt xD Nice job, m'friend.
| Wyrmseeker chapter 10 . 12/14/2010
I'm not familiar with FE6, so I'm afraid I can't help you as far as Brenya's characterization, but she does seem to have your typical "general for the badguy who has her doubts but is nevertheless fiercely loyal" vibe, like Selena from Sacred Stones, so you seem to be doing pretty well with her. Matthew, too, seems to be doing pretty well for himself, especially in chapter 3. But I have to question your treatment of him as an assassin; while it may be the class he can promote to, it's not necessarily what he does. He's always seemed to be more of a spy than anything, even if he did display archetypal thief characteristics in Lyn's story.
Your writing style seems a bit... hmm... I can't think of a good way to put it. Something just feels off to me. It's little things, I think; misusing commas and odd syntax break up an otherwise smooth flow of words. There are also little errors, like calling it "The Dread Isles" when there's only one. I'm not just talking about grammatical errors, here, it's just stylistic hiccups that make the story lack the level of polish it could have. I'm sorry I can't some up with a specific reason as to why this bothers me, but it does bother me. Just a little, though.
Also, what's with all the "scholar" hate? Is Matthew, an expert spy, really so naive as to think every member of a group acts the exact same way? That Brenya could be a scholar and not have her nose in a book every second, and actually be able to clean up after herself? Also, "period stress?" Are you really going there? Sigh...
All right, I'm sorry, I'm being too negative here. I really like the action sequences in chapter 8, and it's here the story seems to pick up; Matthew and Brenya start laying their cards on the table, and the true conflict of the story can finally start. I'm not entirely sure about your characterization of Leila, mostly because I can't recall a morph based off a real person ever speaking in the game, but I agree that such a perversion would make her a little more aggressive than she was in-game. I did get confused in chapter 10, but looking back, that's because I don't remember much about the "A Glimpse in Time" chapter. I really need to borrow my brother's copy of FE7 and play through Hector's story again... Anyway. Armed once more with the knowledge of what happened in that chapter, the events of your story made a good deal more sense, and also sets up an interesting plot thread you can follow in the future.
I noticed you seem to be up in the air about whether or not to make this romantic. I'm all for unique pairings, but this is pretty good even without the romance angle. I know I've made a lot of negative statements, but I did come away from this with a generally positive impression. It's an interesting premise and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it. Good work so far, and good luck on future chapters!
| Vanechka chapter 10 . 12/5/2010
good action~ A few run-on sentences because of continuous action description, but then again I'm guilty of that too. XD
hm! good twist at the endXD I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
and yes Matt, in fact ANY assassin totally owns Jaffar in-game wise. LOL
| Gunlord500 chapter 10 . 12/5/2010
Not bad, not bad at all. I liked the action and didn't think it seemed sleazy or anything like that, good work! IMO it ended a *little* abruptly, but I can't think of any other ways I would end it either...:o Good work.
| Vanechka chapter 9 . 11/30/2010
I like how you revealed Matt knew she was the (Wyvern?) General of Bern all along. Okay, methinks I need to revise my FE6 knowledge. But that was just a /Matt/ thing to say.
Matthew/Leila sweet angst xDDD
Hm, I shan't question you on the ages anymore (though I was always under the impression that FE6 is 20 years after FE7 given that Klein is 19 in FE6 and Louise was pregnant at the end of FE7) though I'm still under the distinct impression that the official guide states that Matt is in his twenties...(yeah, it's hard to believe, I thought he was 18...)
By the way, this is just a question here because I'm lazy to check. Etruria's three generals are the Mage/Sorcery General, the Knight General and the Great General. Isn't the General trio of Bern correspondingly the Mage General (Brenya), the Wyvern General (Gale) and the Great General (Murdock)? Or are they all caled Wyvern generals?
| DarkEclipse45 chapter 9 . 11/28/2010
Since you were kind enough to leave me a review, I thought I would return the favor!
It's a great story. I really like it. I always like to see more FE6-related stories out there, especially ones that come into play with FE7! You were able to link the two quite nicely. BrenyaxMatthew is an interesting pairing that I'd never thought of but it does make for a good pairing! You keep the story moving well. After reading the whole thing, I was pleased to notice that your grammar and overall writing as continued to improve. I really like to see things like that because when some people write stories of this length and don't bother to improve grammar, I tend to stop reading. It's a real pain trying to get a grasp on the plot when I all I see is bad grammar over and over again.
The last chapter was a *bit* short but not a big deal. Keep writing!
| Gunlord500 chapter 9 . 11/27/2010
Nice, an update! Pretty good chappie, tho a lil' short for my tastes. Not much to say, cept we seen Matt and Brenya getting closer, since he told her about Leila. Keep up the good work 8)
| Gunlord500 chapter 2 . 11/7/2010
Okee, since you gave me the option: 1 revuu for all the remaining chappies!
2: Lil' errors, like "mos t" but no big deal. Good job of portraying Matthew's lingering feelings for Leila. Also, giving them the alternate names makes sense, given how Matthew's a spy and Brenya's on a covert mission. Though I recall in FE6 she had a thing for Zephiel...hmm. Ah well, we'll see how dis goes :D
3: Nice chappie. Again, didn't look too hard for errors, but none jumped out at me. I think you're doing a very good job building the 'rivalry'/love-hate thing
4: Hmm, so you mention how she only JUST was promoted to Wyvern General? That makes sense :o Out of curiosity, did they mention that in FE6? pardon my ignorance, 's been a while since I played
5: Another good chapter. Matthew's interactions with Brenya are very entertaining XD
6: Lord Merquise and Aznable? FUCK YEAH GUNDAM :D :D :D Anyways, another good chapter, though I'm glad they're gonna be landing on Valor soon. XD
7: "Period stress?" ;;;; Well, aside from that, this chapter was great! Damn, Leila's been Morphed? Wonder who did it...maybe Nergal's not as dead as everyone thinks? Gonna have to read and see. Also, very nice battle scene, you're good at writin action. :D
8: Ah, so Limstella's behind this? Hmm :o Anyways, another good battle scene, along with an interesting note of how Matthew killed. Nice work.
So yeah, overall dis be some good stuff! Keep it up, my friend
| Gunlord500 chapter 1 . 11/6/2010
Well now, THIS is interesting. Matthew x Brenya? Never seen that pairing before. Kudos for being original, my friend! I didn't look tuu hard, but I didn't see any glaring grammar/spelling errors, and the setup seems both intriguing and believable. Keep up the good work!
BTW, would you like chappie by chappie reviews, or one big review for all the chappies?