|Reviews for Relations Again|
| inuykaglovers709 chapter 14 . 8/26/2013
| Glon Morski chapter 5 . 5/7/2012
Uhm... OK, you asked me to try reading it. I tried, I definitely did... but I'll have to stop it here, sorry. I'mafraid that if I continue, my reviews might turn into... well... flames.
As I said, it was good at first and had a lot of potential. There were a few things here and there that could have been improved, but nothing major. But now, you're getting more and more OOC, especially with Inuyasha, and that's something I just can't stomach very well.
First of all, he wouldn't just let the guy who had tried to run off not an hour ago just go take a dman bath by himself. He wouldn't trust him not to run again. And while I can't say anything about Hyadin revealing so much of his past to Inuyasha, because he's your character and therefore can't be OOC, I can't picture Inuyasha giving in and telling how his mother died to a complete stranger he's not even supposed to trust, or admitting to him that sometimes Kagome wasn't as far away from danger as he'd like, or asking the guy to teach Kagome anything. It's just not Inuyasha, end of story.
Same goes for Kagome. I know she's worried, as she usually is, but you made her fuss over everything way too much. She trusts Inuyasha. Trusts him on everything: to help her out whenever she needs it, to save her life, to protect everyone in their pack and to not get killed himself. She knew Inuyasha just went to retrieve the guy who ran away, the real Kagome would have accepted the fact that they can't follow because they wouldn't be able to catch up to him anymore without the need to have it pointed out by everyone and she would have trusted him to return safe and sound, Hyadin in hand. Sure, she'd be worried and all, but she wouldn't fuss quite this much. I mean, have you ever seen her fuss this much whenever he went to Kikyo? No, she was only extremely p*issed when he got back and she was probably worried (and hurt, too) when he left, but she didn't fuss over it, even though she knew well Kikyo could try and drag him to Hell again (as she tried twice), as she was not aware Kikyo had forsaken that idea after a while. Well, OK, she might have figured it out after a while, but I'm quite sure at the beginning she was wondering 'what if she drags him to Hell this time around?', but she never fussed over it.
That all being said... Well, I better shut up before this turns into more of a flame than it already is.
| Glon Morski chapter 4 . 5/7/2012
Inuyasha... fell asleep and let Hyadin escape?
OK, major case of impossiility here. have you forgotten that the one and only time Inuyasha's ever slept peacefully throughout the whole series was when he was in Kagome's room in the future? In his own time, he'd never dare. He'd doze, yes, he'd let his eyes reast, yes, but he would never fall asleep to the point of unawareness, much less if there was a person he didn't trust in the same room. Proven when Sango was still new in the group and he caught her redhanded as she tried to sneak out because she thought he was asleep just like everyone else - fat chance of that, though.
Other than that, the chapter was OK... although it could definitely be better.
Oh, and if Hyadin was a preist, why didn't he try to purify Inuyasha when he was pinned down by him? I mean, if he had enough strangth to speak and insult him, it would make more sense to try and free himself via grabbing Inuyasha's hand and zapping him. Sure, Inuyasha could withstand it for a moment and still knock him unconscious, but at the very least there'd be some attempt to still get away instead of... well... giving up, plain and simple. But that's your OC, so maybe that's part of his character?
| Glon Morski chapter 3 . 5/7/2012
Well, as far as I got now, I can say the story has potential. The OC you created, Hyadin, seems like an interesting charactr, shrouded in mystery. I like that. I can't help but think that he's somehow related to Kagome, maybe... since he's wearing the same kind of clothes Kagome does, he uses 'futuristic' words and he can't seem to shake off the feeling that he's met KAgome before - though that is still unrequited.
That being siad, there's also a few things that could be improved. For instance, when Kagome found the Jewel shard, I was surprised when Kagome didn't do anything when Inuyasha basically attacked the guy who had it, even though he was obviously human. I mean, sure, the one time he attacked Miroku in canon, she didn't do anything either, but she has seen beforehand that Miroku can take care of himself (since he'd stolen the Jewel, tried to kidnap her [or at least that's what she thought] and showed his Wind Tunnel when Hachi was in trouble). In a situation like this one, I would have expected an 'osuwari!'. Sure, of course, getting their hands on a Shikon no Kakera is important, but still, Kagome was never a fan of attacking a seemingly harmless, clueless person. Hell, even when she 'finally' revealed to Inuyasha in canon that Miroku had Jewel shards (before he joined them), she still sat him before he could basically steal them rom the monk.
That aside, there's the fighting scene itself. I agree that Inuyasha can seem pretty reckless while fighting and I agree he has no style other than brute force to get what he wants and defeat whatever endagers him and his friends. Still, while all that is true, Inuyasha also relies heavily on his instincts, and those are rarely wrong (if they were, he'd be dead a long time ago), a thing you failed to show once he figured out his opponent was a priest. Inuyasha is no idiot when it comes to fighting, even if he can be reckless at times (like the time he almost got himself killed by Goshinki), so the moment he realized Hyadin was a priest, he should have acted differently, not just blindly attack head on. At the very least, have hilm draw his sword anew to deflect the arrow - and while I'm at it, I know Inuyasha was close and all, but how come he didn't, at the very least, grab Hyadin's hand? Sure, he'd still get burned, but then he wouldn't get the arrow impaled in his gut and he'd jump away - sounds much more like something Inuyasha would do. As I said, he's reckless, but not an idiot.
Last but not least is what happened after the battle, when that group of people showed up (they sounded like samurai, so I'll refer to them like that): first they accuse Kagome and co for bringing demons and being 'demon slaves', then Miroku says one word and pouf! we're all 'we'll get a healer for you companion'? Sorry, I can't picture that. First, if they saw the demons (I believe by that they meant Shippo, Kirara AND INUYASHA) and suddenly one of them turned human, they'd figure out he was 'half-demon scum', and while they might not openly try to say 'we should kill him while we can', they should still be apprehensive. And yes, the fact that Kagome is the Shikon no Miko might make them trust her... but where was the 'prove it' part? I highly doubt they'd just hear Miroku say it and would just believe it. People in that time/manga were very careful after all, they should at least ask for a proof. Unless Kagome was wearing the Jewel on her neck for everyone to see without concealing it with her shirt or anything and I didn't notice... but I'd have a very hard time believing that. Too much of a demon bait, even if she trusts Inuyasha to protect her.
That all aside, I'm interested. There's room for improvement, but I hardly read fics where there isn't even one thing that could be done better, so don't get discouraged :3 Well, I'm off to see what the rest of the fic will make me think.
Hope I didn't get too flamy there, by the way...
| I like chapter 1 . 4/28/2012
I like this story! Pls update soon!
| AM78 chapter 7 . 4/22/2012
Okay, the Haydin torture is starting to get downright laughable. There is just no way anyone on the team would resort to such unprovoked brutality except for Inuyasha, and if he did so, he'd be quickly corrected by a barrage of sit commands. Yet you've got everyone participating, even little Shippo, as if it's the most normal and routine of activities.
Also, if all they needed to do to get the shard out was just have Inuyasha pull it out, why did they wait until now to do so? I thought all this time they were trying to find a way to do it, but this has me wondering why they didn't resort to this earlier and save everyone a heck of a lot of heacache.
| InuKag4evertogether chapter 12 . 2/10/2012
naraku's back! wow u really do like to make this story exciting. hmm, i wonder wut hes planning to do to kagome?
| Lady Inu20 chapter 12 . 2/9/2012
This is great. Can't wait to read more
| JP5125 chapter 12 . 2/9/2012
feast of the hunt... seems interesting wonder what it is update plz!
| AM78 chapter 6 . 1/27/2012
The group is going to let Haydin keep his weapons? That's pretty darn trusting. I mean yeah, I get that they can't keep him tied up all the time, but I hardly think they are on friendly enough terms to trust him being armed.
Anyway, it is kind of interesting seeing them ponder what Haydin might be. I'm thinking some combination of what everyone has come up with.
Also, I'm starting to wonder what they intend to do at this point. Where are they going? How will what's at their destination help them get the shard in Haydin?
| JP5125 chapter 11 . 1/26/2012
I've been reading this story for awhile and realized i never review ! What is wrong with me this is a great FF story you portray the characters just right and Haydin is very mysterious can't wait to find out why he wants to kill Inuyasha!
| AM78 chapter 5 . 1/24/2012
Was it ever established that Inuyasha's mother died by drowning? I havn't seen the final act yet, but I have seen the whole tv series, all four movies, and I'm pretty deep into the manga, but I don't remember that from any of them.
Anyway it's nice to see Inuyasha wanting Kagome to improve her combat skills. You would think having to save her roughly once a week would get tiresome. I always wondered why the group didn't at least have Sango teach her how to use a melee weapon, so she wouldn't be completely useless at close range or when she runs out of arrows.
Speaking of that, what were you referring too with "Sango was taking her time to clean the older blade she used for daily mundane tasks." Is that her sword, her arm blade, or something else? Sango has so many blades that you need to be more specific.
| AM78 chapter 4 . 1/23/2012
Way to show off what Inuyasha does best. I figured only he could track someone through such adverse conditions. You also did a good job describing the atmosphere and what he had to go through. Foul weather chases or battles always make for an interesting scene.
Guess they'll have to watch Haydin a little more closely now.
| 2featherbreaids chapter 10 . 1/23/2012
Arg! I am totaly in the dark. What exactly just happened?
| AM78 chapter 3 . 1/23/2012
Nice chapter. Everyone was depicted accurately for the most part. I like how Miroku played the role of peacemaker and managed to defuse the situation when the guards arrived. That's certainly something he would do. Also I liked how you are slowly dropping hints about Haydin without revealing too much. It's an effective way of keeping the reader hooked by making them want to know more.
A few things though. I think the name "Haydin" would draw suspicion and questions from everyone in the group, since it doesn't sound Japanese. Also, Inuyasha would definitely have gotten a sit command when he slammed Haydin's head into the wall. Kagome would not tolerate him abusing helpless prisoners under her watch. That's a textbook "sit" situation if ever there was one.
But overall it was an enjoyable chapter. It set up future events nicely and I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out.