Reviews for One Twentieth of a Whole
Gen. Malaise chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
Just started reading, I figured I'd make a guess about the title. Since all the bijuu come from the Juubi, I'd say that it was the whole. After the body was sealed away in the moon, that left 10 20th (half), which is each bijuu and the failed bijuu.
KitsuneNoYomeiri chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
the reason many have him use a sword, is because it's the most versatile. knives such as kunai don't have the reach, and are normally made with a very minimal general-grade materials, but balanced well, because they're thrown, and rarely retrieved.

they're cheap, one/two use utensils that are easily replaceable.

whereas with swords, you get one or two of very very high quality that you keep, and take care of, sharpening, oiling, and other things that would be next to pointless with kunai.

you also have a larger reach, as well as sturdier weapon, that is usually much sharper, and well made, and taken care of better than your average kunai.

in a fight, a sword will beat a knife or shorter sword easily.

if two samurai of equal skill with the same honed edge on their blades, the one with the longer reach will win.

with equal blades, and equal skill, the sharper blade will win.

with equal edge and blade, the more skilled will win.

Naruto, as a wind element user automatically has the edge by having a very, VERY sharp blade.

he eventually becomes greatly skilled, as in every fic.

and his sword will create a large reach, not to mention the wind chakra improving it.

with the clothes:

the clothing doesn't matter for ninja. "Meisaigakure no jutsu" "hiding camouflage technique" removes you from sight.

the attempt to make naruto look more "badass" is up to the author. I personally try to keep him more bland to 'blend in' because with ordinate clothes, or "ninja" gear out in the open, you're sticking out like a sore thumb.

the whole "super" thing is what is supposed to make naruto "badass" instead of, say, his looks, or his clothing. his attitude, stance, the way he talks, the way his emotions are portrayed, so on.

whatever. that's my opinions. great story hopes you can adds more soon!
karthik9 chapter 2 . 12/28/2010
it is good chapter
TiannaMVA chapter 1 . 12/23/2010
Why is it that when I read you're stories, I feel depressed?

It could be because you have Naruto seemingly insane in both your fics. That could be it. First Hollow!Naruto (he outright states he's insane multiple times), and then this one! If I'm right in where you intend to head with this, then Naruto becomes insane or something when he gains powers, or just completely consumed for the need of revenge.

While I might not like that idea, I must say this has to be one of those more thought out fics. The prophecy seemed to come out of nowhere, though. I would suggest adding something like, 'they all thought it was a myth, as well as the ensuing nursery rhyme about a saviour' or something similar. The prophecy took me completely by surprise when Minato seemed to become all mushy at the thought of it.

I hope you update this soon, because I wanna see how Naruto eventually collects that bijuu!chakra underneath Konoha. Was it waiting to choose, despite it not having a conscious?
bakapervert chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Looks interesting. THough is this gonna be the story where Naruto's parent become bastard who favor other child and ignore Naruto completely?
fresh prince1 chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
interesting story and i'm looking forward to see how it goes.
Fayneir chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
Brilliant start...I'm looking forward to more.
chaosfire999 chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
Hmm, I have a few ideas about where you might take this and all of them seem interesting.

I cant wait to see what you do do :)
Wordlurker chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
Now *this* looks promising, yes, very much so indeed. I'm immediately adding to my favorites and alerts and will eagerly await the next chapter...
HolyKnight5 chapter 1 . 11/23/2010
Hmmm...Ten Parts...Nine of Power, and one, of "Essence"...the weakest and a failed Bijuu, ironically holding the "spark" that gave to the Juubi its potential to control and hold its power...incapable of exist by itself, but capable of granting to the being's soul with what it finally merged, to "Erase" the limits on what its power could grow...granting to a human the potential to grow beyond mortal become a new Juubi by itself.

Also, there its the damn issue bout the prophecy; Its a FACT, that prophecies ALWAYS are cryptic and near impossible to grasp until the moment of its fulfilment has come.

I'm feeling that the Elder Toad, mis-told the prophecy deliberately to Jiraiya, as the true content of it, may speak "of the one that would Save the world, through destroying the old world of war and shadows..."...meaning someone that would bring a new world...through destroying the old culture and system...
fanofmany chapter 1 . 11/13/2010
Wait so if Haruki is the container how does Naruto become a bijuu?
Valiant Naberius chapter 1 . 11/6/2010
Curious. Very curious. An interesting prologue, for sure, but not quite enough to capture my attention with just this. Both the premise and the prologue are very vague, so from a reader's standpoint, this could go anywhere.

Still, curious. Very curious.
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