|Reviews for WITH YOU BY MY SIDE|
| putmoneyinthypursenotsignedin chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
I came back to re-read this - I often do when I'm feeling down and need something to give me a lift. This does, in spades. I love all of it, especially "No, this wasn't a failure, not yet. They were under cover and out of sight. They'd had something to eat. There was salve to soothe raw skin, hay to cushion the hard floor, a car in the yard and a telephone in the house. They'd relay the names to Carmody, find their way back. Kill if they had to." The recitation of everything that's positive - even little as it is - is very, it sounds to me very characteristic of Scotty, especially in that episode. It's just warm and delicious and schmoopy and it WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, TOO, IF SIXTIES DIRECTORS WEREN'T HUNG UP ABOUT CUDDLING. *ahem* *blush*
Anyway, I keep re-reading it and loving it. It's understated and very them, and no less warm and comforting for the restraint. All the feelings are there, and it just lifts me up every time I read it.
| Cruelest Sea chapter 1 . 4/10/2011
Lovely. Very well done.:)
| wuemsel chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
n'aw. Loved it, cute and very them. Go write more. ;)
| wuemsel chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
aw. Cute read. Post more soon. :)
| TheKingsDaughter chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
This is so much better than the ep! Love it!
| dianne chapter 1 . 11/17/2010
Well written, you have readers here.
| putmoneyinthypursenotsignedin chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
Of course, I forgot to add the lines that made me really chill all over:
Scotty reached behind them and towed a hay bale forward, then eased Kelly back against it. Next he scooped up some of the loose stuff and packed it around him. Then he fixed the jacket again. "There, how's that – better?"
OMG. OMG. OMG. So Scotty, so manly - and SO LOVING AND TENDER. "Eased... scooped... packed... fixed" (and nice that you said 'loose stuff' to avoid repeating 'hay', while making it perfectly clear what you mean) I can just see Scotty doing all of this, and being so matter-of-fact about it, while he'd gladly do anything in his power to make Kelly feel better, if only for a moment.
"Sure…" wheeze, "thanks…" wheeze.
That, from Scotty's PoV, just slays me - he can hear every rasp of kelly's breath, and his worry leaches through to us. And your Kelly's grateful for the attention, never complaining, even though he can't breathe - which drives your Scotty to "...settled next to him, their elbows and knees touching each other. The wheeze came again, harsher this time." aw-w-w-w. the way you write that - his awareness of the labored breathing, the instinct to move close, to offer his own body heat, his sympathetic presence - shows how much Scotty's aching to give Kelly whatever he can, his own strength, his own warmth, anything, everything. He'd pull him inside his own body to keep him safe. It's all right there, in that gesture.
"No, this wasn't a failure, not yet. They were under cover and out of sight. They'd had something to eat. There was salve to soothe raw skin, hay to cushion the hard floor, a car in the yard and a telephone in the house. They'd relay the names to Carmody, find their way back. Kill if they had to."
This. Is. Magnificent. "This wasn't a failure..." That unquenchable optimism, that indomitable will. the enumeration of their blessings - and *meaning* it. Also, the shorter sentences "They were under cover and out of sight. They'd had something to eat" work perfectly with the longer one with the commas, making us see function and location in your Scotty's mind: "They'd had something to eat. There was salve to soothe raw skin, hay to cushion the hard floor, a car in the yard and a telephone in the house." Of course, hen my heart melts, because the "raw skin" whose pain Scotty wants so desperately to soothe isn't his own! *sigh* And as you've just shown, the cushioning (and what a sweet metaphor for your Scotty wanting to protect and cushion an injured Kelly from the cruelties and hard knocks of this terrible mission gone wrong.) but this is just so good - "salve to soothe... hay to cushion... a car in the yard and a telephone in the house..." Just that mind, ticking away, enumerating, taking stock of where everything is and how it'll be used, oh, it's wonderful. Down, but not out. You show us why they're such great agents. "They'd relay the names to Carmody, find their way back. Kill if they had to." Your Scotty's mind turning immediately to action, and the last sentence, shortest, much better than if you had said, "They'd relay the names to Carmody, find their way back, kill if they had to." The way you do it gives us that harshness and desperation, and shows us that killing, even after all these years, is not somehting to be taken lightly.
I love this.
| PutMoneyInThyPurse chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
Oh, that was the SWEETEST. Honestly. I loved it. Not at all sentimental, the characters very much *them*, and yet so full of warmth and love, and gave me the chills in the best old-school tradition.
Your Scotty's PoV is the best - practical and sounds like him - and the italics on 'wheezing' are great, they really convey all the worry, all the sudden fear he feels, showing not telling. I can feel his sudden shock, and when he cuddles up to Kelly (in a totally manly way, of course) it just makes me warm all over. The hay thing is great! I can just feel it and see it, and very practical - and it makes perfect sense that Scotty would share the jacket. So sweet, at the end, and very *them*, that your Scotty seems to be taking warmth as much as giving it, but he's also taking comfort - just being next to Kelly is calming him. In that sense, your concluding "The best" is very expressive - not only does it bespeak their innate optimism, which is so strong in canon, it also shows how their strength is not only doubled, but multiplied, when they're together.
And I liked the practical way you described Scotty putting his arm around Kelly (aside from melting at the image, of course) - I could see it, it was a very concrete image and made perfect sense.
SIGH-H-H-H-H. Oh, I love this. "Scotty reached through the darkness to adjust the jacket covering Kelly. Chills, the fever…that side wound. It needed a good look in full daylight, some clean bandages. He hadn't dared apply the salve to the deep gash. Instead he'd used the greasy stuff on the ruined wrists and ankles, lubricated the underside of the rough shackle. Small ministrations…"
So much to love: your Scotty's focused inner tone, so totally concentrated on Kelly's injuries - his tenderness "He hadn't dared apply the salve" - this visceral concern that's practical and not in the least hearts-and-flowers and yet so moving! - and "the ruined wrists and ankles *sigh* We've seen how terribly raw and painful they looked in canon, but seeing them as 'ruined' through your Scotty's eyes, well, it just hits all my h/c kinks, that's all. *sigh again* The little detail of lubricating the shackle so it will cause Kelly as little pain as possible just ripped my heart out, And I love the way you say "the salve" and then "the greasy stuff" - really nice varying of vocabulary without any urple. "Now there was this wheeze" - In the stark plainness of that line, we see Scotty's desperate worry - Can he breathe okay? Is he getting sicker? Shit, what am I going to do for him? Please, don't let him get worse - It's all in there, in the way you put the line in a separate paragraph all to itself, showing the importance of it.
"Must be – close to dawn," Kelly said. He drew his legs up. "Always c-coldest – what they say…"
That line is wonderful, and it leads me to think you could title this piece "Always Darkest" , you know, as in always darkest before dawn? This line is the central metaphor for the story, how dark and grim things are, and we know it's going to get better, but things are so dark for them right now, and you have them doing what they do best - leaning on each other.
thank you so much for sharing.
| Plefff chapter 1 . 11/8/2010