Reviews for Radiance
Twigon Halolover chapter 13 . 2/10
I have read one other fic like this.

Ranma, a guy with a curse to turn into a girl with cold water, from an anime you may or may not have watched, got kidnapped and was slowly being brainwashed into a magical girl.

Yeah, you read that right. Magical girl.

There was a crown that doled out utter agony and complete bliss depending on wether or not he was following orders, actual mental restructuring, and brainwashing throughout repetition; rule to be repeated every morning and night.

The Director is to be loved and obeyed.
I will be a good girl.
My fellow magical girls are my friends.

And so on.

That, for all it's horribleness, never made me want to kill the modifiers as much as I want to torture Chelsea. What she does is so far beyond cruel it makes me hate a written character.

And then I find out she's an automaton. She does her job and loves Aston.

I can't even have happy torture fantasies now.

You are a damn good writer.
mutecebu chapter 29 . 2/4
Nooo why would you split the party again. That has never worked well. I dont see why cath isnt with them, and the party should worry too.
mutecebu chapter 23 . 2/4
More on ch22:
I like how Jake has been with elspeth. Its not too romancy, not too mind-controlly magicy, just comfort.
I like all the planning.

I just realized we havent seen Cody for a while. Snip?
mutecebu chapter 22 . 2/4
Letting addy touch Siobhan. Smooth, guys.

I wonder if she could make a super plan that involves combining peoples powers, then execute it while she nolonger has Siobhan's power. They say no plan survives first encounter with the enemy...
mutecebu chapter 16 . 2/4
"My relatives, on the other hand, never brainwashed me, but raising someone from early childhood could be almost as effective, and it would be awfully lucky if I'd just happened to be born into a perfect family who I really ought to consider faultless. So it might be that I shouldn't be all happy and cozy with them either.

Neutrality is very lonely, though. And I hate being alone."

Oh my golly, cut me right to the bone, why don't you.

Im a little sad here that we cant see her interaction with Alice and Jasper.

Side thought: i usually love seeing powers being used to interesting ends, as elspeth is doing here, but i kind of miss the "do-it-yourself" cognative tricks in early book 1.
mutecebu chapter 15 . 2/4
I realized a few chapters ago that Addy has the potential to become the dark horse Big Bad by the end. Especially if she too uses elspeth's power to break free of chelsea herself.

Stealing all of Aro's memories, though... Im surprised he allowed that. I guess it could have been subterfuge on her part. She definitely got more dangerous with that.
mutecebu chapter 13 . 2/4
*internally screaming*
This is so emotionally distressing. In a good way. I like my stories to have genuinely scary villains and situations. I used to think Aro was scary, but Chelsea is downright *terrifying*. The fact that we couldnt tell what was getting Snipped just made it 10 times worse.

In this chapter, i found myself skimming the "name salad" parts of the soap opera, when several wolves were named in close succession. However, the part about birthdays and naming babies was great. And the scarry part is that she genuinely IS happier here. The wolves are a far more wholesome environment than her life on the road, especially given her personality. I was hoping that thinking of her Mama would snap her perspective back into place, but that hope was crushed at the end of the chapter, especially as she said "my mother" and not "mama".

Things i like about this story:
Cool powers used in interesting ways
"Politics" are realistic and interesting. The limited number of vampires in the world also conveys the benefit of allowing the kinds of problems and puzzles and resoltions that belong to "world politics", but every character on all sides are named and have feelings.
Lastly, all the resolutions to the problems in this story are interesting. There are very few "straight fights" or "sneak in and perform a rescue". Is all. What are my assets", "what are their assets", "how do i counter them."

Lastly, i really need to beworking now, but i want to keep reading because i don't want to allow myself to become emotionally distant from the story.
Reviewer chapter 10 . 1/21



Whew. Sorry.
Reviewer chapter 6 . 1/21
Mama, how did you do this? Please tell me what to do, Mama. I don't know what to do.

That line was gold. I think I may have teared up a little.
Reviewer chapter 4 . 1/21
I love Cody so much! I liked:
"I respect the hell out of him" situation
"So awkward that auks would go extinct with envy."
You are so clever!
Rose chapter 53 . 12/8/2013
Very nice story! Thanks for sharing.
Etoilate chapter 25 . 11/13/2013
Have you ever heard of the Naruto fanfiction 'The Empty Cage' by Rathanel? And its spin-off by the same author 'Swapping the Cage', wherein Naruto/Kushou - the main character - is supplanted from 'The Empty Cage' world and into the canon universe? I think a similar idea would be interesting here - Bella or Edward or Elspeth being inserted into the 'Twilight' canon, possibly replacing their canon counterparts? Even if only wish-fulfillment, a happier ending for one such as I that grants your story all due respect, appreciation and awe, but feels more than a mite depressed at its direction. Please consider it. It really would be epic. Thank you for listening.
Bekky2929 chapter 1 . 3/15/2013
Well... I enjoyed the first story, it had its downsides, but it was good. Considering that I dislike Twilight...

This sequel, though, is a disappointment. You couldn't get any more depressing. Hell, I didn't realize that one could write anything more depressing and boring than the New Moon. But, well, you managed to do just that! :P

I'm not sure if it was planed like this from the beginning, but it feels as if the sequel written by entirely different person for completely different reason.

After 24 Chapters I give up, can't read it any further. A really well written story, but I can't stand this angsty/hurt-comfort atmosphere.
Nyxeka chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
I was very disappointed when Elspeth was a rationalist like Bella was. She seemed to submissive, and accepting of things, it was insanely annoying. I stopped reading :(

The fact that she couldn't get her way out of the stone cell, even with concave walls, was kind of... pathetic of her.

The fact that Elspeth wouldn't force Jacob to tell Pera to put her in the other world was kind of.. well... too submissive...

When she got captured by the volturi, I thought that she was going to use some kind of rationality to escape, but it appears as if that was just the first half of Luminosity...

I thank you for writing these stories though, as it has inspired me to write me own Twilight Fanfic based on Methods of Rationality, which was a semi-interesting HP fanfic...
RandomReader137 chapter 53 . 1/21/2013
I find myself mildly disappointed; I literally could not conceive of you not using something like

...It's been almost a year now, and sometimes when I'm not needed anywhere else, I'll put my back against Jake and meditate, nestled against he fur before he's awake. Mom asked me this morning what I was thinking about, like she does sometimes when we're alone; Dad was off consulting with Esme about something or other, so it was just the two of us in the dark. I still didn't want to wake Jake, though, so I reached out and offered her my hand. I could feel her, almost, wrapping me up in herself and letting me in, like memory of a hug. She leaned in and

-I finished my chicken salad, and before I started on the carrots Iris handed over, I put my hand on my face. I love my mama, one of me signed at the other of me. That's true. Remember that, okay, me? No matter what.

For the first time, the other me answered. It's true, she signed in reply.-
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