|Reviews for Radiance|
| Glumski chapter 53 . 9/5
This was wild from start to finish. I'm still not entirely sure how the first book escalated from teenage problems to an emotionally broken main character kidnapping her own daughter from the sad remains of her family while on the run from the law which had just committed genocide, but apparently that's a thing that can naturally happen in the course of a story.
It was really awesome though. 'Twilight' isn't really a series (neither the books nor the movies) which I've avidly followed and I got directed here by HP:MOR. Your take on the characters and the background does make far more sense than what I've glimpsed of the original works and eagerly went through 'Luminosity' and 'Radiance' as fast as I could. The change from Bella to Elspeth between the instalments was a bit harrowing (especially since the ending of the first book is pretty much the opposite of satisfactory) but I quickly fell in love with both main characters and can't think of any proper criticism in hindsight.
I also really, really didn't expect everything to go to hell in the span of one chapter in 'Luminosity' after the rest of the story had been fairly light-hearted. Not that I'm complaining.
I wish I had further insights to share or more comments to give, but I can't think of anything right now and kind of want to read 'Flashes' next...
Anyway, this was an excellent read, and I massively enjoyed it!
| ProditorMagnus chapter 1 . 7/5/2015
Truly exceptional two stories. I lost all my bookmarks of Radiance though so I guess I need to reread it sometime.
| Kyoshiro-Crimson-King chapter 6 . 1/26/2015
First off let me just say, I find this and Luminosity to be very interesting. I read the Twilight series in High School and liked it, but awhile ago I returned to it and noticed all of the flaws and riddiculousness of. I like how Bella has a fully functioning brain in this story, even if it's made her already large ego ten times worse. She's interesting if not insufferable at times, plotting to dethrone the volturi, trying to pursaid vampires to switch from human blood to animal blood.
That in particular got tiresome immediately, especially when you consider that Bella was a middle class white girl who'd never seen anything considered as the " bad side " of a town(Im referencing the wandering into an area with warehouses and strangely no junkies or prostitues, gets saved by Edward from cliche rapist scene in book one) never thought about the wars being waged and murders done by humans, yet she becomes a vampire and is suddenly an advocate for human lives. I'll admit to a bit of sadistic glee at the end of Luminosity where her plans came crashing down around her.
But onto this chapter in particular, Elspeth, I like much more then Renesmee and her interactions with the pack were nice, I actually wish she could have ended up with Cody, their chemistry was excellent and he's a rather cool character. The rest of the pack...severely tweaked my nerves, I loathed the imprinting crap and this chapter really drove it home. It's basically brainwashing in a sense, all to pass genes along and have the people involved actually like each other. That sounds like an enchantment to me personally that someone might have inflicted on the shifters at the start, though I doubt Smeyer would give it that much detail.
I'm all for love and all that jazz but really these relationships dont have much of a spark to them, again the main point is to pass the gene on. All that fighting was caused by the women and because the men are magically whipped to the point it's really disturbing, especially there driven to try and kill each other over the smallest issue. Not getting into how having children wass the dumbest thing they could have possibly done, considering their on the run.
My biggest issue is Victor, being a gay man myself, I cant help but say how insulting he is. Many in the LGBTQ community have struggled through homophobia, ignorance, and wishing they could magically become straight so they dont have to deal with all that mess. It's understandable but ultimately delusional and breeds people who claim to be " saved and cured " only to inwardly struggle with the denial.
Victor got a free card with the imprinting crap and it makes no sense, what presence does his character bring other then stating " Oh if you dont wanna be gay then just find the perfect woman to cure you and you'll be so much happier "
It would have been that much better for Victor to struggle but ultimately gain acceptance from the pack and from himself, sitting around feeling lonely but eventually acting finding a guy he'd wanna be with, that he actually chose to be with and wasnt magically forced into being with. He and Zachary could have been together or hell Cody, that would have been an interesting plot twist to throw in.
With Maggie and Gianna having their love with each other, I'm very much curious as to what Victors thing is about and why he couldnt have gotten his man.
Lastly, I have always been on Leah's side in the case of Sam and Emily as I dont see Emily being blameless in the situation like others do. And her comments in this chapter just shows how much better off Leah is for not having either of them in her life, especially if the imprinting magic basically makes her out to be an inconveniance to Emily and Sam being together and her pain not meaning the slightest bit, Emily like most of the women in the pack, save for Clair who is six, come off as major bitches who's downfall I would relish seeing.
Again this story is good, even if I dont agree with some things, I know what happens at the end but look forward to reading it all the way to that point.
| Arekanderu chapter 53 . 1/13/2015
Wow that was good. Really good. I didn't expect anything related to Twilight to actually be good. Well done. !
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/3/2015
Elspeth isn't half as compelling a narrator.
| shugokage chapter 53 . 12/4/2014
Incredible and unique story great job!
| argentorum chapter 53 . 6/13/2014
It's interesting, how you spent more time on the aftermath than on the actual story. Though I suppose it makes sense with a story of this magnitude, to spend a good bit of time on the conclusion. All and all, well done. Note due if I'll look at flashes, but I'm favoriting you as an author to see what your next grand adventure will be. Any plans for taking on 'The Host' any time soon? You seem to have a nack for manipulating this type of world into something more realistic.
| Twigon chapter 13 . 2/10/2014
I have read one other fic like this.
Ranma, a guy with a curse to turn into a girl with cold water, from an anime you may or may not have watched, got kidnapped and was slowly being brainwashed into a magical girl.
Yeah, you read that right. Magical girl.
There was a crown that doled out utter agony and complete bliss depending on wether or not he was following orders, actual mental restructuring, and brainwashing throughout repetition; rule to be repeated every morning and night.
The Director is to be loved and obeyed.
I will be a good girl.
My fellow magical girls are my friends.
And so on.
That, for all it's horribleness, never made me want to kill the modifiers as much as I want to torture Chelsea. What she does is so far beyond cruel it makes me hate a written character.
And then I find out she's an automaton. She does her job and loves Aston.
I can't even have happy torture fantasies now.
You are a damn good writer.
| mutecebu chapter 29 . 2/4/2014
Nooo why would you split the party again. That has never worked well. I dont see why cath isnt with them, and the party should worry too.
| mutecebu chapter 23 . 2/4/2014
More on ch22:
I like how Jake has been with elspeth. Its not too romancy, not too mind-controlly magicy, just comfort.
I like all the planning.
I just realized we havent seen Cody for a while. Snip?
| mutecebu chapter 22 . 2/4/2014
Letting addy touch Siobhan. Smooth, guys.
I wonder if she could make a super plan that involves combining peoples powers, then execute it while she nolonger has Siobhan's power. They say no plan survives first encounter with the enemy...
| mutecebu chapter 16 . 2/4/2014
"My relatives, on the other hand, never brainwashed me, but raising someone from early childhood could be almost as effective, and it would be awfully lucky if I'd just happened to be born into a perfect family who I really ought to consider faultless. So it might be that I shouldn't be all happy and cozy with them either.
Neutrality is very lonely, though. And I hate being alone."
Oh my golly, cut me right to the bone, why don't you.
Im a little sad here that we cant see her interaction with Alice and Jasper.
Side thought: i usually love seeing powers being used to interesting ends, as elspeth is doing here, but i kind of miss the "do-it-yourself" cognative tricks in early book 1.
| mutecebu chapter 15 . 2/4/2014
I realized a few chapters ago that Addy has the potential to become the dark horse Big Bad by the end. Especially if she too uses elspeth's power to break free of chelsea herself.
Stealing all of Aro's memories, though... Im surprised he allowed that. I guess it could have been subterfuge on her part. She definitely got more dangerous with that.
| mutecebu chapter 13 . 2/4/2014
This is so emotionally distressing. In a good way. I like my stories to have genuinely scary villains and situations. I used to think Aro was scary, but Chelsea is downright *terrifying*. The fact that we couldnt tell what was getting Snipped just made it 10 times worse.
In this chapter, i found myself skimming the "name salad" parts of the soap opera, when several wolves were named in close succession. However, the part about birthdays and naming babies was great. And the scarry part is that she genuinely IS happier here. The wolves are a far more wholesome environment than her life on the road, especially given her personality. I was hoping that thinking of her Mama would snap her perspective back into place, but that hope was crushed at the end of the chapter, especially as she said "my mother" and not "mama".
Things i like about this story:
Cool powers used in interesting ways
"Politics" are realistic and interesting. The limited number of vampires in the world also conveys the benefit of allowing the kinds of problems and puzzles and resoltions that belong to "world politics", but every character on all sides are named and have feelings.
Lastly, all the resolutions to the problems in this story are interesting. There are very few "straight fights" or "sneak in and perform a rescue". Is all. What are my assets", "what are their assets", "how do i counter them."
Lastly, i really need to beworking now, but i want to keep reading because i don't want to allow myself to become emotionally distant from the story.
| Reviewer chapter 10 . 1/21/2014
CHEALSEA IS ACTUALLY THE WORST.
POOR POOR ELSPETH.
I HATE EDWARD AND ALICE. I KNOW IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT. BUT STILL. THEY ARE BUMS AND I HATE THEM.