Reviews for HeMan: Schemes
Dsman chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
your all doomed
SheWolfMedjai chapter 1 . 6/15/2013
Aww sweet kinda sad but still good!
Laura chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
I really wanna see you continue you this story. Its really good.
XxhollowedwolfiexX chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
this story just blew me away i loved every thing about it and you really captured the character's dialog really well it was as if i was watching the actual show...hope you update soon if not it's alright :)
Snakeysnake chapter 1 . 6/14/2011
wiki/Hemipenis
Eduard Kassel chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
Ah what an unerxpected treat. Though i could have done without the citrus fruit. Still you acted on one of the sire points I had with the series. I was so thrilled at Teela's transformation. Since she has long been depicted with serpent armor I thought the emergence of the Snakemen would particularly develop her character.

I have read only one story here addressing a sanle-woman Teela. It was a good story, but sadly predictable in outcome.

This though, this has promise. Its reminds me of my "Queen of all Oni" story, well except for the citrus(I don't write such things).

For some CC lets see:

While I liked the uneasy but polite with the Masters I feklt you missed some opportunities with others.

1). I don't recall them ageeing to keep Teela';s state a srect in general. I think she would request that herself and the others would support it. The sorcress in particular for number 2.

2). I think you should show more of the disrespect and some racism from the guards. its not like they don't have ample motive to harbor such feelings with the danger Snake-men pose to Eternians. Not endorsing it, but bias has sprung from far ashakier roots.

3). This is very small. A little addition to have Teela sad avout her shaved head. After all it is a familiar feature lost, she might put u some small resistance to the shaving. Also she would be depressed at how its loss made her look even more like one of them and less like herself. PErhaps she wonders if it will grow back?

4). I think the other Masters besides He-man would try and occuopy Dunbcan, take his mind off any fathers worst nightmare. They would fail but it would flesh things out and give a chance to show wat they are upto all this time.

5). More conversion depiction from Teela to Tala. PErhaps depict a moment of surrender in which she goes from guilty pleasure to genuibe peasre. And after that her memory going down the tube.

6). The twist with Sorcress was good but perhaps a bit more description of her serpentine appearance?

Now as i wrap upo I wonder if Hisss planned this since Prince Rattlor was captured, perhaps even his capture was planned.

Ah what an unexpected treat! Favorited.
griffenvamp chapter 1 . 11/23/2010
one problem with this story is couldn't the sorcers chance heman or adam in to a snake man to have teela get pergent with the eggs the when there laid revert them back to normal?
Naundi chapter 1 . 11/23/2010
Wow! I didn't see that coming at all. o_O That's a very intricate plan alright. Update soon.
Decepticon Fan chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
Whoa! I didn't see that coming. I like surprises and this story doesn't disappoint. Please update soon!
LadyKatherine29 chapter 1 . 11/13/2010
Very nice twist. This has been a very intense read. Teela seems to have pretty much left her own mind. The plot was exteremly good. Flows very good. Over all an exteremly good read. I feel kind of bad for Orko, but perhaps his magic will work better where ever he got shoved into. Interesting twist how the Sorceress was really a pawn. Again over all a very good fic.
Midnight6 chapter 1 . 11/11/2010
It's been ages, truly ages since I thought of anything He-man related. Heck, the only thing I have left of those days is a VHS tape of Secret of the Sword, oh, and a Hordak action figure... minus its legs. Good times. Still, it was surprisingly easy to recall the characters, their voices, and just enjoy the story. Another of your works I'll be following.
Delora2047 chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
This could be a horror story if you left out the "romance".

Teela loses her self and betrays her former friends and country.

Traits that are actually positive like wanting children and making a home are used in the context of the story so that one species can conquer another. It's definitely chilling, but I'm not sure if in a way you intended it to be.

I also had trouble suspending disbelief enough for the story to work. An unfertilized egg is not the same as a baby. Teela is not pregnant until the embryo can develop. While it is possible that the Sorceress lied, someone with even a marginal understanding of biology should have called her on it. Unless the masters were still mind controlled, they should have protested more and looked for a different solution.

But then, I liked that at least Orko kept trying to help Teela. The snake sorceress came across as very cruel.