|Reviews for Lucky Harry|
| mobulis chapter 15 . 9/15
So harry is just as evil as Dumbledore and voldie
| Prisci chapter 15 . 9/6
Hola continua la historia porfis ;)
| buttercup8140 chapter 3 . 8/23
Astoria is the name of Daphne's sister, not her mother.
| BigRayGunMK3 chapter 15 . 7/14
i love this story ive read it over ten times now and its still hasnt lost is charm.
| Reader Again chapter 9 . 6/9
Continuity error: You had Harry castrate Lockhart in chapter 6, so how could he attempt to rape someone, forget getting castrated again?
Here's a friendly tip: reread your previous chapters so you don't make so many continuity errors.
| Reader chapter 9 . 6/9
Continuity error: Harry learned Voldemort's real name when he checked Dumbledore's brain scan during the previous summer. He could not have 'just' learned it now, unless his computer occlumency is screwing up.
I wonder why, when people give the basilisk a human form, she is always blonde? Why not give her black hair, or even a really dark green? At least you didn't make her a woman with extreme curves...
| Some Guy chapter 8 . 6/8
Wait, didn't Mr Patil have a spell that showed all forms of virginity, including kisses? How did the twins kiss each other without him finding out? You seem to have a bit of trouble keeping continuity. You also introduce a lot of things that appear once, then are never seen again, such as Harry's 'HUD.' Don't introduce something that seems cool, only to never bring it up again.
| Reader chapter 8 . 6/8
Wait, if Harry is going to marry Daphne, and her mother is going to marry Jean, doesn't that make Harry and Daphne siblings? You really got a thing for pseudo-incest, don't you?
Well, to be fair, I know a guy who has a few story ideas where fraternal twins wind up married and with kids, in addition to the male of the pair getting a harem.
| Reader chapter 7 . 6/8
When did Ronda get married to a member of her own family? A 'missus' means she is married to someone with the last name she bears, like how Harry's harem will be in a few years. I think you meant MISS Weasley, or maybe missus MALFOY.
| Reader chapter 4 . 6/7
You have trouble reading a calendar, don't you? You have the twenty-fourth spread over two days.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/31
This might actually be good if:
A) You didn't rush your writing so much.
B) You stretched things out more. (EG. Harry learns about the x-ray vision and see Fleur doing stuff while thinking about him, Christmas Holidays he learns about the ruins and maybe confronts Fleur with them getting together, then after a few weeks of hiding their relationship over Summer the pair gets caught)
C) Gabby should be born by now and be around 3-5 years old if she is to be 8 during the Tournament.
D) France is not part of Britain, that means it should be harder to travel to and from France to Britain. (also Beauxbatons is a Co-ed school in the Books, only the movies made it all Girls and only because it made a visual comparison between the three schools.)
E) You pretty much skipped what could have been an interesting scene in Gringotts by not explaining who claimed to be his 'Magical Guardian' and other things.
F) The choker thing was ridiculous. It might have bee romantic if he had snuck back to the shop and kept it secret until the day he left to remember him by and didn't make her seem like his slave.
This could have been an amazing story, as it is it is too rushed and slightly pathetic.
| girlslovegirlswholovegirls chapter 15 . 5/29
Love it. Amazing writing.
| Reader chapter 7 . 5/16
This is good, but you made a number of mistakes. Forgoing the missing words, you screwed up on spells. Expelliarmus is a wave of magical force, which is shown as distortions. The only crimson spell I know of is the Stunner, Stupify. (funny joke: Ron, Lockhart, Malfoy and most adult witches and wizards must have gone through a forest of Stupifies, if you catch my drift)
Again, this is a great fic, but you made a lot of errors, both writing and fact errors.
Final bit: do you have something against male genitalia? Well, at least it isn't like 'In this world and the next, where Ron's genitals became so battered that the healers had no choice but to turn him into a woman.
Oh, you gave my friend a very dangerous idea. He said he's going to make a fic where Fate, the goddess, is literally Harry's bitch.
| Bearmauls chapter 1 . 5/9
Felt a bit rushed, especially in terms of the Delacours getting Harry. Usually one can't abscond from a hospital with a child, even if they helped rescue said child. Especially if they then take him off to another country.
The Fleur/Harry relationship also kinda happened in the space of a paragraph.
Granted, some of this could be explained by the luck rune (and the idea of bone break patterns creating a rune is pretty interesting) but it does mean you robbed the characters of some development time.
| Guest chapter 14 . 5/2
Well done a very good story