|Reviews for Who do I Wanna Be?|
| tricia911114 chapter 6 . 11/15/2010
Dont pay any attention to the one throwing out all there negative they dont like it they dont have to read your version of the story so write it how you want it. If they dont like how your story goes they can write there own
| Mrs. Aminah Whitlock chapter 6 . 11/15/2010
ITS AWESOME SO FAR. IT REMINDS ME OF ONE OF THOSE CASTILE TYPE OF BOOKS BUT WITH THE TWILIGHT PPL. KEEP IT UP. I LOVE THE STORY! Two thumbs up
| lanna-misssunshine chapter 6 . 11/15/2010
I'd give some ideas... except the story has me pretty confused. What'd the review say? I looked at the reviews and there was only one negative one but it wasn't anonymous? o.O
From your authors note though, I disagree with some of what you said; I read stories that I don't particularly like because I like to finish what I start and sometimes I think a story has potential to be good so I keep reading and give constructive criticism. (Plus, I review books, so I'm in the habit of reading things till the end even if I dislike them.)
Really, if you're just starting out with writing then negative comments can be a good thing if you take them the right way. It's not "disturbing" - as you put it - that someone goes into the specifics of what they don't like about the story, that's actually leaning more towards constructive criticism because it's not just saying "OMG UR STORY SUCKS!", they're telling you what is wrong with the story so you can work on improving it.
"whoever said i had to explain changing the Canon- it;s my twilight world not yours
If you would wait i would be able to explain things some more"
I disagree with that too. Well, partly. Of course you can change the canon, but a good story changes the canon without confusing the reader.
If something is explained properly then changes in the canon are usually totally fine (I read mostly non-canon fics so I've seen my fair share of canon changes done right).
But, I won't lecture you about the explanation thing - my first fanfic had a lot of the same flaws (it made me cringe so much that it's taken down now); I introduced far too many of my own characters and things happened too fast and there were plot holes and things not explained properly. You get better at it with more practice. *shrugs*
With your story, I think your biggest problem is that you have too much happening at once instead of spreading it out better to allow more explanations. (That and, the balance between back story and dialogue/action is way off. For example, you've had the most important chapters are in third person - I think? I might be remembering wrong - but if you had the chapters in Bella's pespective and added more back story that isn't dialogue, maybe explaining the situation with her brothers or something, then that would balance it out a bit more.)
"quick question- if you think Bella is pathetic in the books/ movies, then why are you in the twilight Fan-Fiction section?"
I know the question isn't aimed at me, but I thought I'd give you an answer anyway; Bella is one of my least favourite characters ever, but there was something I liked about the books. I mean, you don't have to love EVERY character in a book/movie to enjoy the overall story, do you? And a lot of fanfics I've read are actually better than the books were (especially the Jasper/Bella pairing). :]
Um... see this is why I rarely review, my reviews are always too long. The story is much more readable now that you fixed the paragraph spacing btw (I don't think I mentioned that after you fixed it).
Anyway, you shouldn't let negative reviews get to you. If you really like writing and want to get better at it, then use the negative reviews to help with that... sure bad reviews don't exactly give you a warm fuzzy feeling, but if someone points out problems with your story then just take note of them and use it to make the story better.
I'm far from being a good writer, but I'm much better now than when I started and bad reviews help with that way more than good reviews do (good reviews just boost your ego, the bad ones tell you what you're doing wrong - well, unless they're flames which just insult the story without giving reasons why they didn't like it).
| natashar chapter 5 . 11/15/2010
lol so cant wait for more hurry plz
| JXB Addicted chapter 5 . 11/15/2010
Wow! That was awesome! I didn't see that coming! TTFN! JXB. ;0)
| The Queen Of Wolves chapter 5 . 11/15/2010
Ashlee perfectly summarized the situation with this story. It completely incomprehensible. Read again or ask a beta to help you to give some logic to it.
| Kathy Hiester chapter 5 . 11/15/2010
| Wolf Baby Hale chapter 4 . 11/13/2010
please update again soon.
| Deborah Stone- KarmabalanceDeb chapter 4 . 11/13/2010
| sarah999 chapter 4 . 11/12/2010
I like it so far. I also like how you have Bella have older brothers..Please update soon.
| sonyabrady1971 chapter 4 . 11/12/2010
love the update!
| JXB Addicted chapter 4 . 11/11/2010
Lake got to be the one that raped her! This is really good! TTFN! JXB. ;0)
| kouga's older woman chapter 4 . 11/11/2010
I love the possessive, protective Jasper and Peter!
| JXB Addicted chapter 1 . 11/11/2010
Wow! That was awesome! TTFN! JXB. ;0)
| fallunder chapter 4 . 11/11/2010