|Reviews for Tell Me What's Wrong|
| AshGirl17 chapter 6 . 3/23/2014
This story was very creative but I want to make sure I got it all correct...
So Tom raped Jasmine when she was eighteen, after the fight with Sarah, and got her pregnant. While pregnant with Tom's child she told Huey after the whole restaurant scene she was 'expecting' and told him she was raped by "Riley"...What I don't get is when Jasmine told Huey that she was pregnant, were they married or engaged. And if as Huey says they never had "relations" I understand him denying the baby.
So Jasmine miscarried Tom's child? Then got pregnant with Zora by Huey?
I'm just slightly confused. This story took alot of turns. (It was really good though)
so if you could PM me to let me know if I was correct on what happened I would APPRECIATE it
| DaeImagines chapter 6 . 1/17/2011
I loved this! :)
| Guerillaz chapter 6 . 1/12/2011
I cannot believe what I have just read! This was a great finale for a great story.
The one thing I can't get over is how Tom would have all morality escape from his own character. I never would have thought Tom of all people would stoop so low as to rape his own daughter either in his drunken stupor or for justification over his arguments with his wife. In fact, not once has it ever crossed my mind that Tom would even be able to do something so debauched.
However, I do find relief that Zora is truly Huey and Jazmine's child. It would be extremely disturbing if Zora was the offspring of Tom and Jazmine...that would be something that only happens with rednecks haha.
So, i'm guessing the paternity DNA test that Huey got in the mail was a false negative. Oh well, I guess not all DNA testing is perfect.
Once again, great finale and great story! Can't wait to read the rest of your stories as soon as I can.
| Darkgene1988 chapter 5 . 12/30/2010
You are really pulling out all the stops the closer you get to the end of this story. I could literally feel the tension between Huey and Riley. Keep up the good work man, can't wait to find out what the hell really happened. Also, for some reason I couldn't help but think of the song Ain't no sunshine by Bill Withers it just provided a perfect soundtrack for this whole chapter in my mind.
| biskittin chapter 5 . 12/27/2010
you write really well! i love how you portrayed the characters, and i LOVE how well you get the slang down, haha - something that i always struggle with. can't wait for this next update!
| Guerillaz chapter 5 . 12/20/2010
The weight of the suspense is killing me! The fact that Riley has a strong case against being the father of Zora had just made her paternity status even more clouded and ambiguous.
It was a very noble thing for Huey to stick with Jazmine through all the years and help her raise her baby. Even if he knows the baby isn't his.
Keep up your amazing work and update soon!
| Guerillaz chapter 4 . 12/20/2010
Talk about a showstopper...of all people who could possibly have raped Jazmine, it was Riley! I would definitely agree with Jazmine at the end of the chapter. Stay away from the Freeman residence because she runs a high risk of witnessing a possibly homicidal Huey exacting vengeance on his own flesh and blood. I still can't get over the fact that it was Riley!
| Guerillaz chapter 3 . 12/20/2010
I have to admit, the way Huey and Zora had a father-daughter bonding elicited a heartwarming feeling inside. It would be a shame if Huey was not her biological father...and the way this chapter ended, I assume he isn't. But I don't want to jump the gun.
Zora Neale Freeman...I like the name selection. I assume she was named after Zora Neale Hurston by any chance? I loved reading her novel while in high school.
Keep up your amazing work!
| Guerillaz chapter 2 . 12/20/2010
The fact that this story is rated M nearly made me miss this story (since it's not listed along with the rest of the stories) but I'm very glad I uncovered this fanfic.
It must be extremely unnerving, to say the least, that Jazmine has to live with such a horrific memory for the rest of her life. Not only that, but Zora could also be a symbol of Jazmine being tarnished by that same incident. It would absolutely break a child's heart if they were to know that they are the result of that.
| Guerillaz chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
I enjoyed this chapter from beginning to end, especially since this story immediately raised two essential questions:
1. How did Jazmine get injured in the first place?
2. What is the paternity status of Zora Freeman?
And last but not least, your story was written with impeccable prose, which makes it an excellent read! It's not common to come across a fanfiction story as well written as yours. Also, I loved how the story opened straight into the action.
I can't wait to read the rest of the story!
| MyWorldIsAnime chapter 5 . 12/18/2010
Oh my Martin Luther King, lol. This was a great chapter, I don't even think I could come up with a story as great as this one. I really wanna know who it actually was that did Jazmine like that if it wasn't Riley. Update soon! :D
| MzMinni3 chapter 4 . 12/7/2010
Omgod to the 110Th power! Waaaaat! And thanx for the shout out. And if you get the chance read BOONDOCK PLAYLIST. Peace love n pudding )
| MzMinni3 chapter 3 . 11/25/2010
Omgod! Is he the father or not! Lmao. Damn cliffhangers. Ive been following this story since the beginning and i love it. Plz continue or make me cry *not really* lol
| SortaKindaNotReally chapter 3 . 11/23/2010
AHHH! You A-Hole! I wanna know what happend! AW damn! upload soon!
| Darkgene1988 chapter 2 . 11/21/2010
Damn...have to say I was not expecting to just jump into it so quickly. You did a good job of setting the mood with Jazmine's near breakdown in the mirror. Overall, it is very descriptive and stimulates a strong emotional response in the reader. Good job, I am looking forward to the next chapter.