Reviews for Unspeakable Things
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 56 . 12/1/2017
Bastion of fairness?
When hooch said that if the kids flew they'd "be out of the school before you can say quiditch" and then when he flew mcgonogal not only didn't punish him, she rewarded him by having him join the quiditch team, and even interrupted quirrel's defense against the dark arts class to do it
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 39 . 11/29/2017
Seems weirdly hypocritical to have aberforth go on about albus being gay when he himself fucked goats

That being said, good story
Seems to be starting to wrap itself up, definitely third act stuff
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 27 . 11/29/2017
Regarding snape as a death eater
We do know that he was only a death eater for a year when he was just out of school and what little we know about what he did points to grunt work (still bad but no way was he inner circle. Remember he was gathering followers since he was still in school which as we know from book 2 was roughly fifty years before the events of the books, so before snape was born)
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 25 . 11/29/2017
Here's hoping this chapter finally lets me review.
I legit don't remember reviewing so many chapters or even reading this far last time I picked up your work
I have some objections to your statement regarding Snape's teaching abilities
And some minor issues I'll get to afterwards.

Anyway, snape first

he knew from age 16 that the instuctions that the textbooks were giving weren’t as good as they could be. he improved the potions and recorded his methods at age 16.

canon rather hints that Snape did teach the kids the revised instructions.

Prisoner of Azkaban:

"Didn’t you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one cat spleen was needed? Didn’t I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice?"

It’s evident from this that Snape wasn’t solely teaching from the textbook; he clearly instructed the class verbally.

Order of the Phoenix:

“The ingredients and method” — Snape flicked his wand — “are on the blackboard”

and, in another lesson:

Determined not to give Snape an excuse to fail him this lesson, Harry read and reread every line of the instructions on the blackboard

Snape doesn’t instruct them to use the textbook; he puts the instructions on the board.

Order of the Phoenix gives us some other clues.

“And I must tell you that Professor Snape absolutely refuses to take students who get anything other than ‘Outstanding’ in their O.W.L.s,”

So McGonagall knows that Snape only takes Outstandings, which means it’s been an ongoing decision - it’s not new for Harry’s year. And why would Snape get away with only taking the best?


“Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect you to scrape an ‘Acceptable’ in your O.W.L., or suffer my … displeasure.”
He expects everyone - even Neville, Crabbe and Goyle to gain an A. That’s his absolute baseline. He doesn’t anticipate anyone getting a P, T or D - which is a huge ask, expecting his class to attain the three top grades, without any one of them getting one of the three bottom grades.

“I advise all of you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high-pass level I have come to expect from my O.W.L. students”

Yet evidently, he’s been succeeding.

So doesn’t that rather suggest that he’s teaching them from his own textbook? Is it really plausible that every student would succeed, and not a single one would fail, if he was only teaching from the textbook?

After all, Umbridge says:

“Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level,”

And the real litmus test?

Well, in Half Blood Prince,Slughorn doesn’t write on the blackboard at all. Not once. Instead, he points the kids at their books:

“Scales out, everyone, and potion kits, and don’t forget your copies
of Advanced Potion-Making… .”
So let’s look at Hermione and Harry. Hermione’s potions are perfect under Snape. She can follow instructions to the letter, and she always creates a flawless potion. She enters Slughorn’s class, continues to follow the instructions from the textbook, and she flails.

In contrast, Harry was continually distracted in Snape’s lessons - usually because of their joint animosity. Harry was less inclined to concentrate, and Snape made it impossible for him to relax - and for the most part, Harry was preoccupied with other events (e.g. Triwizard Tournament).

Under Slughorn, Harry finally follows the Prince’s instructions to the letter (he can follow Snape’s instructions, as long as he doesn’t realise Snape’s at the helm), and he creates flawless potions.

It suggests that neither of them is capable of seeing instinctively what’s required; both only succeed when they’ve got the notes before them and follow them to the letter. Snape, by contrast, was an instinctive Potions maker - it appears Slughorn is teaching in the same way he always did, and we know he taught Snape - so his flair wasn’t taught to him.

It all rather indicates that Snape was teaching the kids his revised methods. It’s plausibly less apparent during the early years that we see him teaching, because presumably, the easy potions do not require intense modification.

Furthermore, potions isn't even his subject of choice, despite clearly being a potions master. He's always been after the defense against the dark arts job, but dumbledore, knowing the curse on the position, refuses to let him take the job until he knows he's about to die

As for the other issues

Luna's first time of correcting Ron doesn't make much sense as her farcical response made less sense as an answer than the one she knew he meant. Her response would have made more sense for a "how" sort of question than one asking for meaning

Also: how is it that the department of international magical cooperation is new and tiny?
Diplomacy seems rather important for a functioning nation

Also wouldn't this fall under the existing department of "games and sports" like the triwizaed tournament?
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 10 . 11/23/2017
Would like to make an objection to one point regarding your objections with dumbledore
Namely the protections on the stone
They weren't feeble, but they likely were designed with the assumption that whoever would go after the stone would be alone
As a team with a diverse skill set amongst the three of them it gave them something of an advantage
Defense #1
An enormous three headed dog.
Under normal circumstances a pretty good circumstances a decent defense, it's weakness being music putting it to sleep even makes sense as otherwise whenever they went to check on or use the stone themselves they'd have to kill or injure the dog
This defense was provided by Hagrid

Getting past it requires befriending hagrid or skill at subterfuge (preferably both) and even then it would require knowing how to play a musical instrument, or the knowledge of how to charm such to play by itself. or strength enough to take out the giant dog
Note: despite being the first defense, it stopped voldermort on his first attempt

Second defense, devil's snare
An uncommon and dangerous plant that kills you faster the more you struggle
Getting past requires fairly obscure knowledge and control over yourself enough to prevent panic like Ron did (or just burn it, but again, we know that
Defense provided by professor sprout

Next you had to identify and collect the proper key to fit a lock (note key has antisummon charm and lock has been warded against the unlocking charm)
Once you tried to grab the right key the rest would attack you
This requires good eyesight, good broom riding ability and the attack keys possibly would have injured or fatigued the person going for the stone

Next there was the enchanted chess set that was notably good at playing chess
Ron was especially impressive here because he had four loosing conditions

Then there was the troll.
Remember here that trolls are notably resistant to magic, such that despite the one released on Halloween being substantially smaller, McGonagall notes that there wouldn't be many fully grown wizards who could handle one.
Thankfully for the kids they don't have to do this one
This one tests pure strength
Snape's test was a logic test
And as hermiomie says, most adult wizards couldn't logic their way out of a paper bag

Then there was the mirror which tested the heart condition

Weirdly enough professor grubby plank, Sinastra and trealwany and the other optional class teachers didn't give any protections
Ok to recap
To get through you needed
Significant power, lots of trivia knowledge regarding plants, control over your emotions, the ability to play or charm a musical instrument, subterfuge skill (or being friends with hagrid, incredible skill at chess, good eyesight, skill on a broom, much more logic than the average wizard, and you must have been pure of heart

That's a wide array of skills required, an implausibly large array of skills for one person, even if you know what to expect ahead of time
Tata-Fox chapter 60 . 11/19/2017
That was a strange ending. Overall it was a good story.
WhiteEagle1985 chapter 60 . 11/12/2017
A great story here!
Efloresco chapter 59 . 11/6/2017
Yeah so I've meditated deeply upon the events of your epilogue and I have come to the conclusion that I don't approve. I mean I get it, I really do, but come on! The entire story has her basically emotionally and physically dependent on them and now she just scrams? Dude, that hurts me, physically.

I feel simultaneously ridiculed and laughed at by that epilogue, and while I can't even be mad, I do feel I have to officially go on record to say that I do not condone it.
Efloresco chapter 60 . 11/1/2017
Well that certainly ended on an interesting note. Took me a couple of minutes to process that one.

Good stuff though. Really enjoyed this story.
Efloresco chapter 48 . 10/31/2017
This was such an amazing chapter. I really felt you did it justice, and your descriprions felt so right that I couldn't help but believe it.
tcl7189 chapter 60 . 10/23/2017
Awesome job!
Guest chapter 8 . 10/23/2017
Holy crap your Luna is one scary witch. She is great.
Shipley415 chapter 60 . 10/21/2017
This was a fun story. Probably my favorite take on Luna.
desiprinze chapter 28 . 9/19/2017
Good story so far. Disappointed a bit in how you got rid of the Skeeter problem by having Adonis randomly show up out of the blue to obliviate her. Might have been more creative or interesting to see what happened if she managed to write an article about what she heard.
MAJORMATT1234 chapter 3 . 9/6/2017
Well the basilisk is finished
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