|Reviews for Unspeakable Things|
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 60 . 3/11
That ending lmao. Despite the humor, having Luna abscond with a criminal probably puts a death warrant on her head, due to all the state secrets she knows.
As far as an overall review, there were parts to this that I really liked , and parts I really did not.
To name a few, I thought the whole unspeakable aspect was well done for the most part, but was definitely disappointed that the story slowed down in fourth and fifth year as far as the time line was concerned. Was hoping you'd take a different angle than the whole "hogwarts is under attack" thing.
Secondly, I liked the idea of "sports", but you never bothered to actually give an explanation about what they were and more importantly why they exist. A two paragraph background on them would have been appreciated.
I did like how Harry wasn't overpowered for much of the story, thought it was well balanced. However, the whole idea of his magic working in tandem to make the perfect match with Ginny virtually turned this into a faux soul-bond fic, and that was really hard to read around for someone like myself, who can't stand that stuff. It wasn't brought up constantly, however, and I'm thankful for that. There are, of course, other parts that I liked and did not like at all, but these were some of the predominant examples that came to mind.
With characterization, I thought the whole "Lockheart is an unspeakable" was cool, but was annoyed that you basically wrote him out of the story as it progressed. He was definitely one of the more interesting characters. While I'm not a fan of Ginny, you wrote her pretty well. As far as Luna goes, I'm split. She definitely helped the unspeakable parts of the story. Thought she did well there. As far as personal interaction between her and Ginny and Harry, I didn't like that as much. Honestly thought it was somewhat in unnecessary. Not that it was poorly done , but that it just didn't bring much to the story. I think you stated in the story that it was advancing Harry and Ginny's relationship to sex faster than would be normal, but I personally didn't think it showed that way. Just seemed like a normal direction for a couple that had been dating for a few years at their age.
All in all I enjoyed this. Probably enjoyed the first half more , but the second half wasn't bad.
| LBII chapter 60 . 3/8
Great Story ! Thank you for your time and talent.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 5 . 3/7
The part with Lockhart vanishing Draco's arm was pretty damn funny now that we know that Lockhart is faking his stupidity. Wish you had capitalized on that a bit more, still, awesome story so far.
| Srangled Steps chapter 1 . 1/22
| purple sky always chapter 60 . 1/10
I really enjoyed the fic. Very interesting concept to have Luna as Harry's personal Bellatrix.
| RykOakwine chapter 60 . 12/31/2013
An outstanding story, masterfully written and extremely entertaining.
And the author has a real nack for getting the original Rowling - style stuff into the story, like blaming the victim, untrustworthy authority figures, and, most strikingly, an epilogue 90% of the readers will hate and just pretend never happened. :)
All in all, highly recommended and probably the best HP story I've ever read, canon included. Far better than canon, imho.
| RykOakwine chapter 59 . 12/31/2013
Nice one there, Luna. That was horribly, appropriately, vicious.
I could not believe McGonagal and her self - righteous nonsense, lecturing Harrry and Ginny, then calling Xeno's daughter a monster, right in front of people who love Luna. And her sniffing disapproval of their living arrangements.
So help me, as soon as the attack by Voldemort started, if I were Harry, Ginny, and Luna, I'd set my wand down on the table and just look at McGonagal , and Slughorn too since he seems to think it's better for teens to be dead innocents than living fighters. Just wait until they apologized for their monstrous treatment of these teens who are so willing to put themselves at risk to defend their fellow students. Wait until these ridiculous professors ASKED them to help.
Because otherwise, they've already been taught, clearly, repeatedly, consistently, how once their services are no longer needed, then it's back to blaming Harry and Ginny and Luna. Blaming Xeno.
Better get it in writting, kids, cause they've shown for years a complete willingness to screw you over, after the fact.
| RykOakwine chapter 46 . 12/31/2013
The fuck with arthur? He's mad these teens are skilled warriors?
xeno lovegood didnt put deatheaters in hogwarts, or the murderous children of deatheaters in hogwarts.
He seriously sounds like he'd prefer these kids all died, innocence intact.
screw that, Arthur. it wasn't xeno who made hogwarts a battlefield, it was Voldemort. he bears sole blame, everyone else is a victim of that choice by Voldemort.
| RykOakwine chapter 40 . 12/31/2013
Not much of a Ron/Hermoine guy, myself, but this chapter covered it as well as it could be covered I think. Plausible and authentic. Well done.
| RykOakwine chapter 38 . 12/31/2013
Okay, that bit from Voldemort about the God's having bad aim? That's the best bit of prose you've written, so far at least from the aboht 500,000 word of story ive read from ya. That was fuckin awesome.
Secondly, it's a good thing Harry's girlfriend is a fifteen year old girl. No one loves as hopelessly and selflessly as a teenage girl. Raised two of them, ive seen it.
If Harry's gal were 20 he'd a been fucked . :D
Great chapter. Oh, and, Dumbledore? Burn, you arrogant fuck.
| RykOakwine chapter 14 . 12/30/2013
It's funny. Most stories here abouts make a point of Dumbledore's horrific negligence (at best), in regards to Harry and his friends. Some even do a good job of pointing out McGonagal as being even more negligent, as assistant headmaster AND head of Gryfindor.
Some professors get quite the pass though from the fans. Sprout, Flitwick...
And yet, when we think about what little canon tells us about Flitwick and his most important duty, that being the Head of House for Ravenclaw, what we know is that he fostered the environment that let poor Luna be tormented for her whole first year.
Funny, how he's still a fanfiction writer's fave so often, the negligent little ass.
But, not truly Flitwicks fault; he's an authority figure in JK Rowling s Wonderful World of Untrustworthy Authority Figures.
| SvenBjorn chapter 60 . 12/21/2013
Well, I finished reading it, and I grade it...Very Good. You managed to keep the pacing of the story relatively stable, which is impressive for an epic. It gets harder and harder to provide a stable pacing as you get to later chapters.
Ron...I'm glad you didn't go down the DeathEater!Ron path. I see it far too often. He's a prat, but too many people conveniently forget that we're dealing with children who haven't grown up yet. I'm also impressed with how you included him. into Harry's life. A lot of people either have him as a minor character with no importance, or an arch-bastard with brother issues. In here, he wasn't really relevant to the plot, but he was there and played a part anyways. You turned him from canon prat into a respectable person I'd love to have as a best friend. Not perfect, but nowhere near moronic.
Hermione...I'll admit, I was hoping you'd include her with Harry somehow, but that is my inner Harmony talking. I don't think I've read a story that managed a Ron/Hermione pairing quite like you did. I think some people attempted it, but you nailed it pretty hard.
Molly...I congratulate you on your portrayal of Molly and the Weasley clan. You made her overbearing, but not insufferable. You caught her profile very well without overinflating too many aspects.
Arthur...Arthur as the Senior Undersecretary surprised me, but truthfully I don't think it's really applicable. The man is a loyal and caring person, but even I admit he's not really the kind of political animal that a job like that would require you to be. Still, you seemed to have made it work, so I won't sit here and rant about that.
Dumbledore...I can only stand back and clap my hands in awe. You managed to do what so very few have the guts to do, You made him a horrible, manipulative, and powerful person, but in the end, he was redeemed. I can only applaud you.
The Horcruxes...A bit anticlimactic, but it's better than how most just don't include them at all.
The Deathly Hallows...Again, anti-climactic, but better than not being included at all. In fact, I think I prefer how you handled it. None of that Master of Death nonsense, but they're still there.
Overall, this was a very pleasant story to read and kept me glued to my computer for ungodly hours. Granted, that's not hard to do, but the sentiment stands. Well done.
| SvenBjorn chapter 7 . 12/19/2013
This is turning out to be a very good story. Normally I wait until I finish a story to review, but it's late for me and I don't want to forget What I had in mind to say.
First, I'll congratulate you for finishing the story. It's a rarity anymore to find someone who finishes their stories. Sad to say I can't count myself among those ranks. I'll also congratulate you on finishing an epic, though granted it's not as impressive as it would be with most other series'. Just writing the seven canon years would qualify it.
I'm impressed with the quality of your chapters. You don't fall into providing long, dry descriptions for everything, and keep a moderate pace going. Not agonizingly slow like most epics, but not blinding fast like most poorly written stories.
I also applaud your ideas regarding Luna, provided they are indeed your ideas and not just a recycled idea. Nothing wrong with that, I do it myself. I'll admit I'm not overly fond of an amoral person, but I'm not so bigoted to say being amoral makes you evil, just easily manipulated. I can't really claim to be fond of a Harry/Ginny coupling either, but there are a good amount of stories that make them work. This is one.
If I had to pick something about your story to criticize, it would be how you sometimes drop into using speech only with little to no descriptions. It gets confusing sometimes as to who's talking. A couple times I had to backtrack to try and figure out who said something. Of course, I prefer this over incredibly dry, overly detailed stories. Much less headache involved.
I'll rattle off another review at the end of the story if I think there's anything I should add. I admit to being curious as to how you'll get the Sword of Gryffindor into Harry's hands for the eventual Horcrux hunt, or whatever alternative you use.
| Willem Trialmont chapter 8 . 12/11/2013
Was that a hint to the movie Warlock I spotted? ;)
| Blizzard of love chapter 60 . 11/29/2013
... in closing Ginny and Harry are clearly pretty awful social anchors