|Reviews for Have Heart My Dear|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
awesome :) are you plnning on doing more?
| ellie.koleva12 chapter 1 . 5/31/2013
Such beautiful story! It makes my heart ache. So touching. Well done! :)
| LittleMissBlue93 chapter 1 . 5/10/2013
Wow youre an awesome writer. I love it :)
| Pia Cullen Masen chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
I just love how Ian is not afraid to show how he feels toward his Wanderer!
| Sunflowergirl24 chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Great story, I really enjoyed reading it!
| SamyJo chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
Awww, that was so great! 3 I'll be honest, I'm not that big on the endearment "baby" - okay it's more of a loathsome relationship - but everything was so well written/executed, intense and/or cute that I can't even be annoyed. It was just an adorable one-shot and I personally think you did a fantastic job on it. Thank you for deciding to write this! -
| JesssMellark chapter 1 . 2/24/2013
Wow. That was amazing, definitely my favourite host one-shot out there. You wrote it perfectly. Well done
| Knight of Angby Maybe chapter 1 . 8/31/2012
I loved it. I loved your writing so much! I really thought they were in character, yes lol Thank you for that :D
| 098765432345678 chapter 1 . 12/16/2011
Okay, first off... You have officially revealed me to be a hopeless sap. That brought tears to my eyes.
10 out of 10 for capturing Ian and Wanda's personalities. Not once did I find myself thinking 'Wanda wouldn't do that; what is this writer on?'
I also considered contraceptives in something I'm working on. It's still a couple chapters out, but I hope it's as funny as I hope it is... i digress. Even without that note, I didn't find the absence of that topic detracting from the story at all. I would kind of expect that Wanda and Ian would want to have children, and not be afraid of it... Why worry about labor complications when you've got No Pain and other Soul medicine, right?
As far as writing from a guy's perspective: good. job. I'm clapping my hands. Can you hear it?
| Mercenary63 chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
Well, I really liked it! It was adorable :)
Did Stephenie really said that about the second book? I mean she has a 1st scene written? Have you heard something about the book? Cos I live in Russia and we have no news about the sequel :( It is really disappointing.
| Sam-Sam29 chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
It was great writing. Not a single typo I saw. And I like how you try to match Stephenie Meyer's style. You were very in character, and this probably better than most stories I found in this archive. (Which isn't much, but you should still be happy.)
1. "She was sank in her seat,"
Does this sound grammatically correct to you? It sounds better like: "She was sunken in her seat" or "She sat sunken in her seat". I see you're not a native English speaker, but you're older, so you've spoken the language longer than I, so I'm a bit hesitant to correct you. A past participle sounds better here. I might be wrong, though.
2. I'd Cancel You If This Were A TV Show
Don't mind, but by the fifth paragraph, I was bored. You have caught, what I like to call the "SM" Syndrome. This would be a wonderful beginning for a multi-chaptered story. As a one-shot, it's fine, but it drags on, you know? From the first line, I thought, okay, so when is this story completely going to grab me? I said that to myself til the end. It was good writing, but as entertaining? Epic fail. I guess the begin was just . . . flat. The best one-shots are what capture your attention from the first moment because it's so tiny, you barely have enough lines to grab you into the story.
If you had a scene to show, I'd suggest you start with a dialogue. I like wondering when this is happening. It's something you should leave up to the readers. But that's just my opinion.
3. Is this the "All About Wanda" series?
That is the one thing I loathe about romance. It's like nothing else in the world exists except her! I get it, this is Ian/Wanda Fanfiction, but is there not ANYTHING in the world he could think about other than her? I thought I liked sappy things, but this is just overdone. If you're going to talk about what's going on in the caves, might as well tell us something about something other than her! You got a chance to talk about Jamie, but you just chose not to, because it's all about Wanda. This is just a rant more than an opinion, but I really can't take it when the whole world spins around one girl/guy.
4. Desire, desire, desire
Is that all he thinks about? Yes, this is a cutesy Ian/Wanda fic, that's the whole point. But I can't help myself. Why can't he think about anything other than how she "tantalizes" him? How about some sort of memory? How about something OTHER than all the sex? I'm okay with M stories, really, but I fail to understand what was the point of writing the story if there was no story. Just some really HAWT sex.
Where's the cute things about her "grey eyes" and "cheeks"? Anything other than bedroom exercises?
Come on, that can't be ALL men think about.
5. Reading this is like watching rocks erode
Similar to point 2. They ride in the car. They find the CD. They listen to it. They have sex. They're home.
Was I reading a planner?
My face was similar to the reaction I had when our teacher made us read The History of Paper.
Yes, it wasn't very interesting. You've caught on.
And it couldn't go any slower.
You put enough detail into it to cover up the bad plot, so I say this should be on the pro side! Another symptom: you cast an illusion that something really intense is going on. While something very ordinary is going on here. Something really dumb and not worth mentioning. Because I really don't see the big deal in listening to music.
I tend to point out more negatives than positives, because writing positive things doesn't really help anyone. You're very good at staying correct and "in the formula" - you'd make a good technical writer. As for creative . . . sadly you're not very good at that. The whole idea seemed a bit, let's not get to offensive, "dumb" to me. Fluff is nice. But even for a Romance fan, it seemed like a little too much sugar. I haven't read many stories here. (This is about my fifth). But this is just slightly too mushy than The Host really is. Don't get offended, but I always try to be honest with the writers.
| bkluvr94arf chapter 1 . 7/27/2011
I have to say I'm not a big "Lyric in the story" type of person but that was really good and sweet and i think you nailed Ian's caring doteful side, I loved it.
| lovely child chapter 1 . 7/23/2011
Arg. Why is it that something so beautifully written as this gets far fewer reviews than other shorter, cruder stories? It must frustrate you too. Ah well; so goes life. You will be published someday, and they, shunned. Keep writing!
| Lyssita Lennon chapter 1 . 4/12/2011
Aww! That was so sweet and adorable. Amazing job! :) Ian and Wanda seemed perfectly in character. (At least to me. But then again, I'm not the best at staying in character either. Lolz!) Over all, it was an amzing story; one of the best I've ever read. (And re-read over and over again!) I also hope you get back to your other story sometime soon, cause that one's really good too.
| Leiaa768 chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
I love rereading fanfics, and especially the good ones (hint, hint). I've read this story so so many times, that it was such a shock to me when I realized that I'd never reviewed!
Well, let me tell you know.
My favorite thing about this story is how in character both Ian and Wanda are. You said you were a bit nervous, I think, about writing in a guy's perspective. Well, you pulled it off. Seriously, I felt like I was reading SM's Ian and SM's Wanda.
And I absolutely love love LOVED the idea in the story about Wanda being gentle but strong. How Ian had to protect her from the simple harsh things in our world, but Wanda protected him from his feelings. I feel like that one part described the entire idea behind the Host. How the humans eventually changed and realized Wanda's true character. How Melanie and Jared and everyone came to love her and decided to save her. How Wanda was weaker than Melanie in some ways, but in other ways, stronger than her. So yes, I loved that part. :)
And I liked the steamy scene, too. :) Usually I'm not such a big fan of those parts, but I liked how you wrote it. Not animalistic, but more filled with love, if that even makes sense.
Anyway, I've got to go now, but let me tell you that I can't wait for your next update!
p.s.- it was interesting to find out that the next book starts with jogging. didn't know that. :)