Reviews for Expectations
DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 6/7/2011
Well, I'm finally sitting down and starting to read these stories! I've already read the first three at this point, but reviews will, I suspect, be slower in coming.

It's obvious from this story that you intended, even at this initial point, to spend a lot of time and effort in fleshing out your version of the PSIII "universe," as it were. Starting with the twins' childhood is intriguing, and it gives you the opportunity to build in facets of their character. Adan defending his sister was certainly cute!

Showing the theme of prejudice as still being strong is very much in tune with the overall point of PSIII (indeed, given that Dark Force basically destroyed the Palman escape fleet by inciting a war between two groups of people who had no reason to hate one another, one might say that the futility of prejudice and the need to overcome it is the *defining* theme, if any, of the game). A few years of peace with Layans...particularly after Satera was destroyed by Layan not going to wipe out millennia of social conditioning. I can only imagine what it would be like for Laya herself...being queen of a people who have been raised since birth, and for generations, to view your sister as the devil (as you noted in reciting a couple of the incidents against her)?

My favorite part of the story was Laya asking Adan about which part of Greck's insults he found most offensive. It was a good mother-son parenting moment, and the answers-and the reactions-go a long way towards establishing who Adan is and who'll he'll grow up to be.

I know it turned out to be a plot point, but I'm surprised that you had Laya, Adan, and Gwyn's forehead rubies turn out to be jewelry rather than a genetic oddity. Is that your own decision for this story, or is it based on one of the Japanese supporting materials such as Toyo Ozaki's artbook?

Lastly, there was quite a bit of interesting characterization for Wren here...indeed, the fact that Wren actually gets characterization is itself interesting! It's a fine line, showing his limitations and yet establishing him as an independent "person" rather than a mere "tool."

Excellent start to the arc, and it certainly made me want to move right on to the next story!
tilinelson2 chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
Prejudice is a central theme of PSIII (and people who stop playing the game after fighting the first chirper can't grasp how serious PSIII plot was) and it is good to see it addressed. Though Adan quest is not a time where the prejudice is supposed to be so strong, it could still exist in veiled forms among common people, so it is ok for me.

Good to see Wren not treated as an object, after all, while he is not so emotional as Mieu, he is not just a piece of metallic and eletronic junk that kills people.

The rhythm is a bit slow, but it is your style and I'm getting used to it.

I'm trying to get up to date with your stories now that I figured out the order to read them.
Sathaeri chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
So... since I'm not very up-to-date concerning Phantasy Star, this review is going to be lacking a little... *ahem* Anyway, even though I didn't know who these people are, your story still made sense and I fully grasped the characters' personalities, and that's fantastic! Nice job :)
BenoitRen chapter 1 . 11/15/2010
It was an enjoyable read. I especially appreciated the descriptions that allowed me to visualise the situations presented.
Vicious Pink chapter 1 . 11/14/2010
Aw, a very touching story you've written here. I enjoyed it very much. I had always considered the prejudices against each side to have settled down at least some by the time Nial and Laya married, so it's interesting to see a story go into the topic of racism during their time. It's quite convincing, too, so well done there.

The moral of the story wasn't bogged down in its own heavy lesson here, and the interaction between family members was well-written and believable. You even brought the androids into the story as having closer bonds with their masters, which gave me a warm fuzzy. It's nice to see the androids written this way.