|Reviews for Triptych|
| The Oldest One chapter 1 . 5/30/2011
I love how completely plausible this scenario is: oh, yeah, that makes total sense, why he always put her off, why he said it would be best if he left her alone!
| Nauticalmass chapter 3 . 3/28/2011
I'm sorry it took so long for me to finally read the last chapter.
I really enjoyed the pacing of this chapter, just like the last one. Clearly, we already know the plot of Twilighted, so when we go AU, we don't need everything rehashed. I loved all of Bella's insights that show some of her Twilighted experiences in a slightly different light.
I adored "Me not Jane." I liked that after biology, Bella wasn't worried about what was wrong with her but instead about what an ass Edward was.
I also liked how she commented that you had to look for the beauty in the desert. It reminded me of when in NM while watching R&J, she says something like, "Yeah, if you like that obviously beautiful type of thing." (I can't remember if this happened in the book or just the movie.)
I appreciated the explanation of why Bella didn't really have friends before Forks.
"Mike Newton is Forks." Haha. Another great one: "I feel like the world’s most incompetent drag queen in this get-up." Followed by: "I feel like a queen, the girl kind."
Sorry to spend my whole review quoting what you already wrote, but I also enjoyed the imagery of: "I thought I knew about love and its distant sister, obsession."
I was a little surprised at where the story ended, but I liked the simplicity of it. It was a story told in three acts with great pacing and a very quiet end. Nicely done.
| Nauticalmass chapter 2 . 3/28/2011
(As a note, I promise I'm not trying to butter you up.)
I'm excited to see where the third portion of this story will take us. The pacing of this chapter was really great. Jacob took us through all of Twilight, but it didn't seemed rushed. I could also really hear Jake's voice in this. I'm curious as to what he thought about Bella's "accident" in Phoenix.
| Nauticalmass chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
So, I just finished Triptych on Twilighted. (I'm not sure why I read it on there and not FF.) When I finished reading it and saw that it hadn't been reviewed very much, I definitely had a WTF moment. I needed to come over here and rectify that as much as I could. I hope you don't mind the double posting.
Yay! A new story. At first, I thought the man-boy might have been Seth. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. (I think out of the whole pack, the one I could most imagine with Edward would be Paul. They could spend all of eternity annoying each other and trying to prove which one was manlier.)
I find his feelings about Bella to be very entertaining. I love discovering stories with the premise that Edward doesn't really love Bella. The reasons presented for his actions are always so varied and interesting.
I can't wait to find out what Jake thought about seeing Edward. I'm also eager to find out how the rescue plot of New Moon will fit with this story.
Very interesting. I'm so happy you're working on a new story.
| solareclipses chapter 3 . 3/17/2011
I really like this, M. You should be proud of it. I think you've just been overthinking (boy, do I understand that).
Your Edward's personality comes out so strongly. He has a unique voice, of which I'm glad. This definitely goes into the far end of AU OOC (in some ways), and there's little I find more awkward than whe a writer does a 180 on a character's personality, and there *isn't* a strong and - more importantly - different character voice; I think you do a really good job of setting the stage when you open with Edward.
I like that as things unfold you realize that this isn't necessarily a "full" AU, in the sense of all the characters are completely different to canon, but more like a "Twilight" AU with the main differences being our understanding of Edward and Bella. I know that balance of canon and AU is really difficult to handle, but I think you do a good job.
You talked to me about being concerned over not conveying meaning. I think you convey it. For me, I can see how they're all victims of some idea (love, lust, obsession, as from your summary), of their own choices (and others' choices), and of each other (both directly and indirectly), though I think Edward is the worst of the players here. I actually really like how you end each section. They all end up with nothing, in a way, because of their behavior with each other.
The only place I could think of where you *may* have struggled was with Bella's OOC POV. I like that you gave her more of a personality, but doing so made her situation less believable, perhaps. I'll try to explain why here, but feel free to chat me up, you know.
In Edward's POV, we basically realize he's a selfish bastard; I'm not sure how sorry one can feel for him, beyond saying, "Oh, it sucks that he's bored and can't come out to his family, Jake and Bella." Haha. Really, his behavior just harms others, so it's hard to sympathize with him.
In Jacob's POV, who's the most canon of your three, he's a victim in multiple ways (because of who and what he is, because of his age, his class, etc.), and you can feel sorry for him. He just doesn't have much control over any of the cards he's being dealt. Of the three POVs, Jacob is really the only character that I feel truly sorry for, because he's not actually doing anything particularly wrong or even "risky." In a way, he just has really bad luck.
Meanwhile, with Bella, you've made her stronger than in canon, and so I think this makes her less likely to have been this Edward's victim or to have fallen as hard as she did for him. A girl who has the backbone to move thousands of miles away, just to avoid hearing/seeing her mother and new stepdad getting it on, is probably less likely to be meek and take crap from Edward, even if she really strongly desires something different and beyond herself.
*If* you did ultimately want to rework this at all, I'd either tone down her personality or make a few more scenes to show us how exactly this Edward made her weak. I think the thing is that you show us how she's strong, but in an effort to separate her from canon Bella, you don't show us how she's weak (as much), but more often tell us, so there may be some disconnect there. I know she's obsessed with him, but because her personality is different, her reasons for being obsessed seem like they might not be exactly like canon Bella's. Like I said, I think you convey what you wanted to with the way everything is, but I thought I'd throw that out there, in the event that you do decide to edit this. It's really the only thing I could think of that you might possibly want to tweak. I wouldn't touch anything else!
I really enjoyed reading this. It's very different, which is always a MAJOR plus in this fandom, and I like that it's so concise. You could definitely shape this into a longer story, but it does well being its own compact tale. That reminds me: Loved the chapter titles, rather than your putting "Blah Blah POV" at the top of each one. Clever and different.
Adding this to my rec list.
P.S. - My apologies for any typos and/or nonsensical crap in this review. Insomnia strikes again.
| roon0 chapter 3 . 3/12/2011
I love how you have given Bella the nagging sense that all is not well. Her desire for Edward and maybe more importantly, for a proper family keeps her holding on. Then he does her the favour of dumping her. She should be pleased.
This was well worth the wait. I have enjoyed it hugely. Even if I did find Edward's passion for Jacob, hysterically funny.
Until next time.
| roon0 chapter 2 . 11/28/2010
No I do not think Bella knows at all. LOL. So at the moment, we have Edward obsessing over Jake and using Bella as a decoy. On the other hand, we have Jake is obsessing over Bella and wondering 1) whose following him 2) what Bella sees in Edward. Poor sod how surprised was he to find that it was Edward following him. Am I wrong to find this funny?
I cannot wait to see what happens next.
| Bled Dry chapter 2 . 11/27/2010
Hmmmm... I wonder. I really enjoy the pov in this story.
| Bled Dry chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
| roon0 chapter 1 . 11/20/2010
Once I worked out that Edward had a thing for Jake, I must admit I laughed. I still think its funny and find your Edward, to use his own words, "miserable asshole".
I also think its incredibly funny that he is only with Bella as an excuse to be closer to Jake. Poor Bella. Its just a perversion of their relationship in the books. I love it.
I am not really into slash but you have written this so beautifully. Your Edward is even more flawed than we know him to be from the saga, I cannot resist reading more.
Until the next time.