|Reviews for Allegiance|
| SammyQuill chapter 5 . 5/21/2011
You're going to save Hawkeye for last aren't you? You evil thing! Well, evil and genius because you've clearly perfected stilling time. How else can you do all your RL stuff, beta Almost Here and punch out such a long and awesome chapter? XD
I really, really liked this because while you said you couldn't write sparkly Armstrong you can. In fact, you did one better, you actually balanced his soft side with the angst and made him appear both a soldier and a human.
And don't you think I missed out that little bit of parental RoyEd there. Though secretly, I've been reading your Roy/Ed lately too. XD
I also loved how you incorporated Maria Ross in here. And Hughes, oh my God, this made me realize how much I miss Hughes, especially when he told Roy to wait til he makes it to General before the mustache. My only regret, alas, is that it wasn't' mentioned in front of Riza. I'm sure one less then pleased look from her would have stamped the idea right out of Roy's mind. XD
I also really liked Olivier's part in here. And Alex going "how will you get a husband" was just classic. XDDDDD
Gah, so many things to mention, so little sanity (*has worked a double shift and is falling asleep on her comp*) Suffice to say you pulled it off splendidly. And since you have mastered time control, I want that Hawkeye chapter. XD
| Gallifreyan Phoenix chapter 5 . 5/21/2011
I love how Hughes does not support the mustache. It made me happy. I also liked how your explanation for Armstrong taking off his shirt was "for greater range of motion". It makes sense...and yet, well, Armstrong IS Armstrong. XD
| Crazy Sardines chapter 4 . 5/9/2011
Love this fic. I could just imagine each of your chapters as an actual episode in the anime. Very well written and in character. First three chapters were brilliant. The fourth one is good too though not as focused and cohesive as the first three. Keep up the good work though. :) looking forward to more of this.
| lilahri chapter 4 . 5/7/2011
I love this story! Each and every one of the situations and scenarios you write are so wonderfully believable!
I especially love how you've begun to develop Falman and Sheska's relationship. I also became a fan of that pairing through Shrix 4's Dailies (well, I first started having hopes for them in the first FMA anime series in the Warehouse 13 episode - but then there wasn't any hint of it in the manga/Brotherhood, so I all but gave up hope for them... sad day), and you did a great job of writing a very realistic beginning of their relationship.
I am seriously so excited to see what you do with the other characters you're planning on writing about. Especially Armstrong. At first, it seems like he is already completely trusting of Mustang from the get go, which made me think that they had a history of friendship. But I agree with you in the sense that he didn't completely trust him until after the Maria Ross incident. So I'm excited to see how you develop that idea more )
Even though the beginning of Mustang's relationships with Hawkeye, Hughes and Ed are all (relatively) detailed already, I would love to see you expand on them. With Riza, I would love for you to write a chapter that included something about how she feels about Mustang's womanizing ways. Perhaps someone asking her how she can remain loyal to him... I don't know.
With Ed, what I would love is for you to write about his own unique loyalty to Mustang. Everyone thinks he hates him, and I can't imagine that other officers wouldn't try to take advantage of that. Maybe something similar to what you did in Tempest, and what happened in chapter 12 of Dailies. Obviously, not the same thing. But that kind of idea. I would just love to see how you would write it in the context of this story - like, the first moment that Ed truly gave/showed his loyalty to Mustang.
So now that I've written the longest review ever... all that to say that I love your work and I can't wait to see where else you go with this story. )
| Shuukaku92 chapter 4 . 5/5/2011
Nice one! Though I liked the previous three better and Falman seemed slightly OOC at some points (mostly, his annoyance and decicisve behaviour around Mustang's men), I still applaud your interpretation of his meeting with Mustang's group. He IS a though character to work with, and I thought the SheskaxFalman part was cute, though I still think it's a weird couple. And I think Falman is definitely older than 37 XP
Anyway, to get to the idea part, maybe for Ross, you can have either Mustang and Havoc (and more) temporarily in Central, or Ross and Brosh temporary in East. I'd imagine Ross, Havoc, Brosh and Mustang meeting outside of military settings, with Havoc hitting on Ross and Brosh glaring daggers. Mustang would not be to interested at first, but when he gets involved in some minor intrugue, Ross also gets involved and proves very trustworthy. Or something like that. IDK I just like the idea of Havoc hitting on Ross before he knows she's a soldier to, and Denny standing there pouting and glaring :D Yeah, I love RossBrosh, thanks for noticing.
As for Armstrong, I think it would be nice for Mustang and him to meet shortly after Ishval, with some nice angst and comfort; Mustang gets Armstrong to stop hating himself for his warcrimes and leaving the battlefield by making him look forward. Or tricking him into moving forward by setting up a situation in which he knew there was going to be a fight, and a subordinate of Armstrong would be in danger, forcing Armstrong to fight and use his alchemy again. Then Mustang would explain his pyramid of protecting those dear to him. And of course, as an ending scene, we have Armstrong DECLARING THE ARMSTRONG BOND OF FRIENDSHIP THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! to Mustang, combined with a tearful (on Armstrong's part) and backbreaking (on Mustang's part) embrace.
Hope it helps, keep up the wonderful fics!
| Imoo chapter 2 . 5/4/2011
I am liking this. It's fun, which I don't always see in fanfic. I like how you make Fuery sympathetic through his unease at spying. It's a moral dilemma that avoids being too angsty. It also amuses me that the characters' responses to hearing Hughes talk about his family is annoyance, while mine is high-pitched fangirl squeal.
| Mimsley chapter 3 . 4/30/2011
These just get better and better. I love the way you wrote Falman in this one and gave him a believable voice instead of the flat character he usually is. And incorporated Hughes, who is hilarious as usual. And Marcoh's cookbook. Brilliant. And Falman/Sheska? I never would have thought. But after this chapter...and the Dailies one... I can see how that would work.
Anyways, I'm really looking forward to the next couple chapters. Especially Hughes, Hawkeye, and Ed. The series has already shown some of theirs, but there's so much in those relationships you can cover, which I'm sure you'll do wonderfully. Update soon!
| SammyQuill chapter 4 . 4/29/2011
This is so wonderfully done! I really, REALLY liked how you tackled Falman because oftentimes, he's just once of those characters who seems like background noise, and I personally love him so seeing him made so important makes me happy.
And though I ship Fuery/Schiezka, Falaman/Sheska is cute too! In fact, you made them ADORABLE. Man, they're going to have some kids. XD
I also love the versatility you keep showing in these chapters. Vato is older so obviously his reasons are going to be more mature/less rash than the other members of the group in joining Mustang's command and it made perfect sense that he isn't blindly loyal from day one because he is a man of logic. And I guess its really a testament to Mustang's awesomeness that he was able to inspire such loyalty in Vato later on.
As for future updates, I CANNOT wait to see the Hawkeye and Ed one. Hawkeye because I'm a shameless Royai fangirl and Ed because I love your Roy/Ed dynamics. Keep up the good work!
| Harm Marie chapter 4 . 4/27/2011
| Saffron chapter 4 . 4/27/2011
I loved Falman's chapter! He doesn't get a lot of attention, does he? In most fics, if he ever appears, he's just kind of...there. No personality or anything. That's why I love your writing- you give every character a warm, realistic voice, even minor ones like Gloria.
When you write Armstrong's story, maybe you could set it in Ishval. Maybe bring up Roy's ideals for Amestris and Armstrong's reaction to the senseless slaughter. And when you write Ross's story, please include Brosh in it. He's absolutely adorable!
Oh! By the way, Sheska/Falman is totally my new OTP. Just so you know.
| TJuneM chapter 4 . 4/27/2011
Do Hughes next! Oh do Hughes next! I sit an giggle through all their interactions you write XD
| Sonar chapter 4 . 4/26/2011
I find that interesting n a cool way.
| Gallifreyan Phoenix chapter 4 . 4/26/2011
This was such a great story. I never had thought about any idea of a Falman/Sheska pairing but now that I’ve seen it in action, I love it. They’re so cute together. Falman thinking “I…think I’m in love” after Sheska rattled off most of the cookbook was priceless. And I couldn’t believe they were actually cooking from Marco’s “cookbook,” I totally had a freak-out moment…or three. Lol.
And Hughes! I adore that man and his craziness. _
And the favorite lines of the story are… *drumroll, please*
~"It is!" Hughes said in elation. "Gracia is absolutely, one hundred percent pregnant!"
~Mustang cleared his throat smugly. "With my child," he drawled.
~"Don't go, Velcro!"
I laughed so hard. XD
| Emememe chapter 4 . 4/26/2011
This may or may not be helpful, but I think what Armstrong would value most would be compassion and valor, so I think his loyalty story should tie in with like regrets from ishval or something. Maybe Armstrong already admired mustang's courage to stay in ishval when he 'abandoned' his country and ideals when he left the battlefield (which i think he actually mentions something along the lines of hating how he abandoned what he believed in sometime in the manga and brotherhood). Ross could definitely wait tip after ex and hawkeye and stuff, considering how she really didn't become loyal until he saved her from death. And you could always write the pater chapters now and save them for later :)
Also, this one was really sweet :) that's really the only pairing I pike with falman, I mean they're a perfect match really :) with their matching awesome memories...sometimes I really would appreciate if I was like that, especially with tests :) studying would be do easy...
Anyways, love it, and hope I helped to give you some ideas!
| Aprilup chapter 4 . 4/26/2011
YAY! you updated! it's been so long! :D another wonderful chappie (as usual) and you introduced me to the sheska/falman pairing! It's actually quite cute :D i suggest maria ross next!