|Reviews for Deanna and the Chocolate Factory|
| Scifiman2013 chapter 7 . 5/30/2012
Very well done. But what about the surprise that's supposed to be at the end of the tour?
| Scifiman2013 chapter 2 . 11/26/2011
I just finished chapter-2 through chapter-7. It seems you weighed heavily on the Chocolate Factory book. Obviously, she is dreaming. At the first of chapter-2, it would be better if you connect the story with using the ships holographic enterface, on holodeck six. This makes the interface with the story more in line with established Star Trek Storylines. I must say that despite your busy school scheduale, you've assembled a very good storyline. All and all, a job well done.
| Scifiman chapter 7 . 4/14/2011
The story is flows well. Need more detail about how and when Dianna got to and when in the Holodeck. Maybe some playfull banter with her husband. That way you can link the story togather and have some more fun with it all. Maybe have Mr Wanka be friends with Will and share some secrets. Then get Dianna trying hard to finds out what he said.
| Neie Veleshrie chapter 6 . 2/10/2011
this is a very creative story! keep up the great work :)
| Scifiman2013 chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
Pretty good. Now carry it on to get De to download book into Holodeck so she can interact with all the charecters.
| IAmYourPhobia chapter 5 . 12/30/2010
Great story so far! Very amusing and entertaining. Can't wait for more!
| autumnrose2010 chapter 5 . 12/23/2010
I really enjoyed reading it. It is very funny! :)
| potionguru chapter 3 . 12/20/2010
OMG. I needed a good laugh because I was feeling a bit down and this story caught my eye. I am happy it did and I am looking forward to more chapters.
| dispatcher652 chapter 4 . 12/9/2010
Oh I can't wait to read how all this is going to play out. I loved the banter in the movie between Violet and Veruca so it should be fun with Ro and Lwaxana.
| autumnrose2010 chapter 4 . 12/9/2010
Hilarious! I love it! :)
| dispatcher652 chapter 2 . 11/28/2010
I would love to see how Deanna like the story and if she dreams about the river of chocolate.
| autumnrose2010 chapter 1 . 11/25/2010
I love both the book and the original movie of that title and look forward to reading more of your story as well :)