Reviews for Hallowe'en Scene
Slipgate chapter 5 . 12/26/2010
I think the drama of hoping they would survive this latest mission sitch was very powerful. The appendix thing stretches things a bit for me - removed but letting the wound heal how? :P And it's a bit yeek to imagine.

The scene with Cinnabar dancing, red hair waving, was beautiful as part of the denouement of this story. Thank you for sharing it.

I admit to expecting a bit more out of how Kim knew which one was real - but maybe the one who seemed to be experiencing real fear is not a dig on Ron so much as a genuine appraisal of who seemed to be the real human in a situation filled with eldritch horrors.

The Shego thing would make an interesting follow-up.

I know this was ages ago. I cannot tell you how much sooner I wanted to post this review.
Fabius Maximus chapter 5 . 12/20/2010
Very nice! You keep Kim and Ron's essential... Kim and ronness even in the face o the Cthulhu mythos, without making the Mythos anything less than terrifying. Kim's decision to retire makes sense, and is handled nicely. Shegos' decision to take up the hero's burden is very well done- I'm assuming that even though the Old Ones have been expunged, the book still provides the possibility of their return.

Interested to see where this is going now.
CajunBear73 chapter 5 . 12/20/2010
The realization of things a'changin' for Kim and Ron. A child does this as they hang up their 'capes' and move on. Maybe later it will bring them back because of a world for their child.

But for now a new team's about to come into play. Hope Shego isn't overwhelmed and can make it work.

CB73
LJ58 chapter 5 . 12/20/2010
Very tidy wrapup to a very compelling tale. Shego 'cured' but driven back to heroics. Team Possible balancing the truly important aspects of life vs. the world. And lurking in the background, always waiting...
Earl Allison chapter 5 . 12/20/2010
Whew! So Kim and (most of) Ron made it through safely.

Love the wink at the original idea of Shego's powers coming from her gloves at the end segment, too.

I can understand Kim's decision, and it makes sense and comes off as sensible, not selfish.

Thanks for an ultimately nice story, hard to say when you're dealing in Cthulu, after all :)

Take it and run,
Fabius Maximus chapter 4 . 12/17/2010
Good news for Shego and drakken- but what about Kim and Ron? Something tells me that if they survive this one, Kim may decide to call it quits while they're ahead...
Slipgate chapter 4 . 12/17/2010
I like the concreteness and the flair of color to the world besides our main characters that the Go City Museum scene allows for. Also, it's tragic that Go City at large has had public opinion turn on Shego like it has. That you show that also helps ground and orient the story. It's too bad Kim and Ron weren't able to do more to help set the record straight, but sometimes even a truth shouted from the rooftops won't quiet people who "know what they saw" especially if they think Kim and Ron are big-hearted enough to not want Shego thought of that way "despite it being justified."

Hm. Likework. I'm not sure what other version of the Lovecraft name we could use without using Lovecraft. I've seen Mr. Wizard use this one. I'm not sure if KiY has used it or not (or which of the two of them used it first). I have to admit it's clever... I just wish I could think of another to help set yourself apart while still making your reference clear.

You mentioned to me that the idea of how Kim distinguishes which is her Ron was an important scene around which the rest of the story grew - so I'm assuming the next chapter has Ron asking her how she knew which him was him, since no clues appeared here other than her grabbing one of them and it being the right one.

Either they're in a weierdly lit zone or near the ceiling of a disco party, or they might've accidentally teleported to a section of real space currently occupied by the transplanting portal to the Old Ones' space. Are they in the Old Ones' space? I wonder.

It's great to see Shego can be more at peace in the future, though I doubt her reputation will ever recover, and it will be hard to explain how she's not nuts now compared to how she was before in official channels. I do very much wonder how you wrap this up.

Does Shego have no recollections back as far as before losing her family and Kim's pregnancy? That's a huge chunk of one's life to lose, even if Kim wasn't a friend to have missed so much of her life, and of course to learn about the death of her brothers and how her name is reviled again and so on. I was once in a hospital waiting room where a woman in the waiting room in a wheelchair mentioned once having been in that same hospital for a year and a half coma. As you can imagine, I had NO idea what to say to that or how to commiserate with it. I just know she was kind of bitter.
Earl Allison chapter 4 . 12/17/2010
Uh-oh.

Things are looking up for Shego, but not for Kim and Ron ...

I'm hoping that, since they AREN'T part of the Old Ones' universe, they might be spit out?

Then again ...

Yeah. Cree-pee

Thanks for a great read!

Take it and run,
Lon Wolfgood chapter 4 . 12/16/2010
Hopefully Shego won't go bananas again.
Slipgate chapter 3 . 12/15/2010
And so we return to the situation at the end of chapter 1, which was a more dire close call than I recalled. I had to go back and check it. Wow. Gun against her temple. Yeah, that was close.

I'm assuming you have Dementor's oath cut off so that the thought he might be dead is momentarily realized, though potentially if he warped up there the line could continue from above :).

It's a grisly picture you paint with him, offset somewhat by the fact that he apparently perceives the different parts of himself wherever they are.

Is it the fear of what happened before with Shego, or the "life flashing before her eyes" that has Kim breaking down so much and needing so much to decide that this is really it for the mission thing? (which is I assume what she wants to talk about - that finally, she can no longer do this)

I love how you show Kim's love for Ron... "his big smile, his handsome, boyish features, his eccentric but endearing ways" - and you also finally give the story on little Cinnabar.

Kim visualizing Monkey Fist, Eric, Warhok, Warmonga, Shego, and the line "Danger, destruction, delirium, desperation. Was this all there was to life?" - Kim has really finally reached her limit in dealing with what the missions mean now compared to the rest of the life she wants to lead.

Can you tell me what Y-c is, or at least, what is known about Y-c?

If I read the inscription right, how was Ron not consumed by the shoggoth matter, and what are the seven signs? Will you touch on them, either explicitly called out or not? Have you already touched on six of them without me knowing it?

Well, at least Ron blasted Electronique good with her own power.

I am amused at Kim's scene (regarding the original "The Fly") that parallels Ron's scene where he realizes why Kim hates all the movies he likes.

nervenzusammenbruch - nervous breakdown? :)

You know, when you had Ron shouting Kim's name, I figured the strange echoing was the fact that Ron was that desperately calling her out (cf. the end of the previous chapter).

But... weren't they all in a line behind Ron? If they split up, there'll be no way of knowing which is him. But, um, do shoggoths who take on a form also take on all the memories? If they take on all the memories and abilities what will Kim use to distinguish? If they don't... well, I hope you come up with a creative thing for her to distinguish them with. :) You mentioned in chapter 2 that their faces held malevolence?

I find myself wondering if the basilisk, the cockatrice, and the Medusa will hatch NOW or if they'll just be permanent additions to our world even if things get resolved. The thing in Scotland is distressingly permanent. And it's funny to see Anubis in more than one FFNet story right now.

Does the things the Old Ones touched include Kim and Ron, since Ron faced them for example? Or is it just people like Shego that worked with them? Will at least Shego end up fighting on their side again somehow? Is this ending at 4 chapters or taking more? :)
Earl Allison chapter 3 . 12/15/2010
I only have one word, drawn out, to describe;

Cree-pee

I can almost SEE the gibbering, unknown monstrosities out there, salivating at the chance to return. Poor Kim, poor Ron, even poor Shego.

Really well done, you can do a lot with so few words!

Thanks for the read!

Take it and run.
Fabius Maximus chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
Very nicely done, once again mixing KP and the Mythos in a way that works wth both of them. I especially love the inclusion of a classic Lovecraft plot-the scientists who don't actually realize what they are toying with is far beyond human science- or controll.
Slipgate chapter 2 . 11/28/2010
Post-invasion October? I seem to recall that the epilogue of the first story indicated that Kim was pregnant. Was the initial part of the storyline that soon after Graduation while that epilogue moment was some time later? I do remember this sequel supposedly has some altered continuity to work, and I'm just trying to get a sense of what that is so I can know how to receive it.

Excellent scene with Drakken/Shego - very powerful. I'm actually peeved at Jim Possible for his suggestion.

I understand the priority of the mission, but it's a shame that Cinnabar's first Halloween experience will not be with her parents after her parents built it up so much for her. Judging from how Kim and Ron remembered their first T-or-T, Cinnabar MIGHT well remember this aspect of her first time later into life too. It might be a case of "I can have fun without you guys" or a case of hurt that they didn't come. I feel for her, and that's a mark of you making me feel for her.

You came up with a creative "solution" that "would" show up in a Fearless Ferret episode.

Was the blue-white flash Electronique (stupidly) trying an attack and paying for it? Or was it something from the Old Ones?

Little creepy that the black muck is already grabby, as if something has already been summoned... by Ron, I guess, since those "Ron-things" showed up after?

I admittedly don't know what "Tekeli-li" is, so I hope I find out.

Under the circumstances, Ron's desire to find Kim is not entirely just because he intends to just sit back and let her do things, but it's also understandable that he's freaked at the moment.

So Shoggoths now obey Cthulu? And have MMP? Oh man, what's the solution to that?
Slipgate chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
Interesting so far, though tragic. I'm not sure about Cinnabar as a name - Kim and Ron are normal enough names, but Cinnabar will be teased. :P Unless it's Cindy and Cinnabar is a childhood nickname?

Electronique not being cautious because of her belief in science was interesting.

One note of error - Fraulein Stoppable? It would be Frau Stoppable, actually, since Kim is both married and has a child there is no way it could be anything but Frau. I at first thought it might just be a misstatement on Kim's part due to not knowing the difference between the German terms, but if so it's an error that Dementor himself repeats after that.

Well, anyway, I am curious as to what's up here. I'll keep reading.