|Reviews for Competition Over the Visitor|
| saquesha13 chapter 51 . 12/26/2016
Wow 51 chapters good job! Mike is really hard to write but after his little tantrum you got him down pretty good. Everytime Donnie called Alex precious it reminded me of lord of the rings (x I wish there was more Leo/Raph scenes but in gonna search your page to see if you have written any one shots about them! Oh and I think once Leo and Raph were comfortable enough they would say those three words to eachother.
| Guest chapter 31 . 4/1/2016
| Blue chapter 1 . 12/6/2015
Just found this fanfiction again and I am so excited to read it for the second time! This is absolutely one of the greats in my mind. I love your OC, and you've executed the development of each relationship so well. Big fan.
Have a Marvelous day :)
| DemmCounterfeitBandits chapter 38 . 8/18/2015
HELL FUCKING DAMN YEAH!
| DemmCounterfeitBandits chapter 30 . 8/18/2015
arrggghh, I don't like how everyone is being a dick to Mikey! you all know he had a point! he isn't a baby! it doesn't hurt to let him in sometimes! poor baby but amazing story I'm only in chapter 30 so hopefully everyone will love Mikey and Alex they want YOU not your MONEY honey. Mikey said he busted his ass for YOU! not the money.
| Larka13 chapter 38 . 7/6/2015
| Blue chapter 9 . 4/19/2015
I love your oc. I really connect with her, and as an empath I really understand reading emotions left over in a room and flashes of insight. Sometimes I feel things and I can't tell if they're mine or someone else's. I'm told it makes me really hard to understand. I love your story. Its well written and I'm excited to read it :)
| Angel-Amy-22 chapter 51 . 12/16/2014
I loved the ending it was so cute. I also liked how the others' reaction to Leo's and Raph's relationships. They were realistic. I know most wouldn't accept something like this but you made their reactions believable
| Tigergirl319 chapter 16 . 9/29/2014
| siphie16 chapter 51 . 2/21/2014
I enjoyed the story very much!
| Backache-usagi chapter 38 . 10/18/2013
Ok so I've been meaning to make so many reviews while reading this, I just love it (the whole story). Your whiting style, the plot, the characters, every thing is awesome. And GREAT job on these past two chapters C:
Idk if you still read the reviews for this story, but I can't wait to read the rest of this series!
| inayasha21155 chapter 51 . 10/15/2013
I love this story and AWWWWW best story I have ever read hope I see more like this thanks again for writing
| simple.chances chapter 2 . 7/2/2013
I've heard many good things about this story, and I very much wanted to enjoy it, but it almost physically hurts to read this. No, it's not the OC's or the eventual tcest this is suppose to lead to, in fact I was looking forward to that, but it's the inconsistency that I've read so far. What continuity is this suppose to based in, because so far it's felt like the 2k3 series but with the original origin from the comics and 1987 series. Or is this a self built world, filled with headcannons and a blending of several 'verses that the franchise has built?
I'm not trying tear your work down without giving it an honest chance, but so far the only character that has been in character is Master Splinter, with Raph close behind because he hasn't had any real 'screen time'. And sadly that technically isn't true because Master Splinter wouldn't randomly take Leo out of his leadership position unless Leo was having some form of crisis (like the first half of the fourth season of the 2k3 series) and even then he did it by choice. The only way I can see Donnie taking up the leadership role realistically is if he showed the same/similar character traits the new Nick series Donnie has, because Donnie is usually presented as passive and a thinker but not a strategist like Leo or an aggressive warrior like Raph.
I know that's a lot to ask for in only two short chapters but I can't stand seeing characters being misused. For an example: Mikey, although probably finding it frustrating losing toast, would most likely find Leo's war with the toaster hilarious and very teasable because Leo doesn't usually show his flaws. Also, Leo isn't above getting into petty arguments with his brothers (because, hey they're family, it happens) but this argument is silly and pointless. First off, Mikey wouldn't stand there and argue with Leo, because no matter what Master Splinter said, Leo would still be leader in his eyes; and this should be a fairly conman recurrence in their lives so they'd have patterns that they would normally follow.
Although I can clearly tell this story won't have any long term Leo-focus (seeing as you clearly want the focus on Donnie, and that's completely fine) Leo doesn't typically blame others when it comes to family matters, even taking the blame himself (or sharing the punishment because his brothers don't put up with his self sacrificing bullshit when they know they can stop it) because as the leader he feels that it's his fault that it happened in the first place.
I am a novice writer myself, and i can understand the difficulty in writing several personalities consistently and accurate within a chapter or story, but I am fairly decent as an editor/beta and self-proclaimed grammar nazi, so please understand this is not hate, it's criticism. So I must ask you, does this get better as it goes on, or do your characterizations stay pretty much the same? Also, this is an analysis of your first two chapters, I am unaware of if your focus changes and so far have no intention of reading further unless you want a critique every couple of chapters.
I do hope you reply because I really like helping people improve and seeing development.
| Guess chapter 51 . 6/10/2013
I just started reading this on a whim, but now,I will admit, that this story drew me into reading it to the end! I truly love the way that you did this work and think that the fact that you are Lexi is just amazing! You are an amazing writer!
| The Nerdfighter chapter 37 . 6/6/2013
No matter how many times I read this specific chapter, it always makes me blush. x3 Wooh! *starts fanning self* Is it hot in here or is it the sweet, sweet love-making of Leo and Raph? lol